I wanted to post this separately as I am wondering what you guys think of my musings...I figured since no one usually posts late in the day it'd get lost on the thread....Belle
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Do you ever wonder if we are all too obsessed with our weight? I mean, we are all, every one of us, good looking, bright, lovable, successful women. Some of us are only moderately overweight, a couple of us should lose some for health reasons....but really. Does weight control our lives?? I mean, in the midst of all of these very serious life problems/obstacles that we have been facing lately (many of us) we find ourselves worried about how many points we ate, if we are up a couple of pounds. Would anyone love us less?

Really, I don't know what the goals are for loseing weight. It seems like we all think something magical would happen at a smaller size. Sure, we all want to fit into a smaller dress, perhaps not have to shop at the plus stores (my favorite) but there are times when I have to give my head a shake and realize what I eat today isn't going to make or break me. That being in control doens't mean obsessing and if it makes me have a bad day, that is really serious I think.

Kier, if you really think its worth changing your body, then you should have the surgery. But I also want to add that you should realize that you are beautiful, obviously attractive to the other gender, and very successful without the surgery, you are fabulous. I think you should focus on being healthy for a little while rather than losing the lbs.....you know what I mean?

You know what? I lost the majority of my weight a year ago and its only now that people are starting to mention my weight. In the past week, 4 people have commented. Its b/c I have been getting exercise, I look firmer and healthier and I am less focused on the scale. I even fit a 16 pant yesterday. And fit it well - that is good.

So maybe I am just saying, perhaps we should take a step back sometimes, realize there are bigger fish to fry in our lives and give our heads a shake. I bet part of being focused on WW has to do with looking at the very big picture, that this is a lifetime change, a part of a whole, not the whole, not a quick fix, or a means to an end.....

OK off my soapbox

Those are my musings for the day, I promise.

Well, I am sleeping over with my neice tonight, as Carmen's mom and dad have to spend the night with her at the hospital b/c she is coming home tomorrow morning!! Yay!!! I can't wait to hold her.....

Have a good friday just in case I can't check in....

Belle

Hi Belle - and everyone

In a way, I agree wholeheartedly with you. That said, this IS a forum where we discuss weight and weight related issues. I find when I am not following the WW program, I obsess more about what I am eating than when I am OP. I think it's good to have somewhere you can talk about all your food and weight issues with other people who have had similar experiences. That way, I don't bug my friends and family so much about it. i've actually made a lot of new friends since my break up and at my new job who have no idea that I lost so much weight, that is until a little while ago when someone mentioned points in the lunchroom and I chipped in. So anyway, I'm thinking it's good to have an outlet for your worries and fears so that you don't obsess about them too much and of course that's one of the reasons I hang out here.

There's my 2

KT

To a point, I do agree with you, Belle. I think that we are all wonderful the way we are, and that we're all valuable and lovable women at any weight. On a whole other leve, though, I am scared to accept what you're saying. I am afraid of turning into the excuse I need to not take good care of myself and to not be the best person I could be. I am so afraid that I will wake up at 45 or 50 years old, and think that I have wasted my life being overweight and unhealthy. I don't feel good about myself unless I am working on furthering my fitness goals. I am much happier when clothes fit me well and are attractive-looking on me. I personally need to not give myself any reasons to let myself off the weight loss hook, because I fight that daily.

Oh, maybe I wasn't clear.....

I didnt' mean obsessing on this site, since yes, that is the purpose of the site. I just mean in our daily lives. Do we let it control our lives instead of us controlling it....do you see what I mean?

I agree with you - when you discuss your obsessions/fears/struggles at this forum it does make it more manageable in daily life. However, I do find myself wondering if I spend too much time worrying about it.

ie: I worry before WI every week. I get anxiety about it. If I am up, it can ruin my day. Literally, I could have been having a great day and WI and be totally bummed....that is where I begin to worry.

That's my experience anyway...yikes...I just realized maybe I am alone in my obsessing. Wouldn't really surprise me I guess!

Jayne - that is what I am trying to say exactly - being healthy rather than focusing on the scale, #s, etc....

I am not saying that trying to be your personal best is not a good thing - I just mean that weight loss shouldn't be #1 in my life.

Jayne, hope I didn't scare you too much. I don't see that as an excuse to not make an effort and exercise will power. I am trying to say that its a lifetime change and that we need to look at the whole scheme of life rather than just focusing on that one thing....

Personally, I think it determines my mood and feeling of worth too much.

Belle

Ok, when you put it that way, I agree with you 100%. I too get huge scale anxiety, and fail to see the larger picture of life. But how do we find a balance? If someone can figure that out, I be they'd be the next Richard SImmons, maybe not quite as much of a fruit loop though. I too let it determine the quality of my life. If I am on track weight-loss wise, I have great days and feel really good about myself. And if I'm not, I'm miserable and depressed. I feel like life just isn't fun. I don't want to feel that way, yet I don't want to obsess either.

I just need a few years of therapy, probably!

Hey girls
I totally agree actually for me i need to lose weight for health reasons ie beig more mobile and staying that way i do think ppl are too obsessed today I was concious of what I ate and i knew i ate over but i didnt give myself grief b/c i had pizza 3 small slices for an individual pizza
my intention right now is to lose weight but not b/c I'm not fabu b/c I want to get strong and healthy and stay that way for life
nite ladies
Kier

Kier, if you do decide to go ahead with this, then I think that you are doing it for all the right reasons. I am so proud of you for obviously thinking through everything so carefully and weighing all of the benefits and the risks. You are the only one who can make a decision like that for youself, and I know that, given how much thought you have put into it, you will do the right thing no matter what you decide!

MWAH!!!

Hmmmm, I think also for many of us, weight is a psychological issue... For the past year I have struggled with about 5 lbs, I am still below goal, yet when I feel my pants are tight even due to TOM, I start to freak. Why? I think part of the problem is that I put a lot of negative thinking into my past weight. Unfortunately, I have seem to be more successful in life when I have been in control of my weight, sure it probably would have happened with the extra pounds, but my self-esteem and confidence is a lot higher now.

I don't know... I have a feeling there is another eating disorder called compulsive dieting. We feel incontrol when we eat right and exercise and when we eat right everything else seems to fall into place, but when we don't we feel out of control. I know I suffer from it, and I wonder if I almost sabatoge myself intentionally so I can feel in control by feeling my pants get looser and such, even though I look fantastic and am at a good weight.

my 3.25 cents (2 cents US)

Ali

Belle-I agree 100%. I have decided to focus less on points and more on working out and being healthy...although I do get a self esteem boost when my clothes fuit properly...my problem is that i don't appreciate the good weights when I am at them. I am always saying, just another 10 pounds and i will be happy....how much weight is enough? Why can't I enjoy where I am at now in relation to where I was? I don't know...I am also v. depressed if the scale goes up....

Kier-I think surgery is a decision only you can make-and I recommend it to many patients for health reasons, esp. if they have tried dieting and exersize. you are better off having it now while you are younger and healthy than waiting for other health issues to develop and then having it.

My 2 pesetas!
Lori