I have a family member (FM) who is concerned about me. They think that because I'm on ADD medication and I'm trying to lose weight that there's something wrong. We just recently found out my cousin was abusing ADD meds (that weren't hers) to lose weight, and now FM is telling me I look fine, I don't need to lose weight AND that I don't need the ADD meds. I have very bad ADD. I had trouble all through school, but didn't seek help until I was 26 and had happened upon an article on adult ADD that sounded like it was written specifically about me. I couldn't keep house, remember appointments I just made or even phone menu options. My husband read the article and urged me to see someone about it. The doctor said I was a textbook case and fit almost every criteria for benefiting from medication. And my life improved greatly. So no, I'm not taking them for the weight loss. They don't even make me lose weight OR give me energy, LOL. Anyway, FM told me I look fine and I have more important things to worry about than losing weight. She's mentioned this the past 3 times I've talked to her. I told her I have talked with my doctor and I'm losing weight exactly the way I should, slowly, but she said she's "doubtful" that the doctor really understood that I'm fine the way I am. She said that while I was "scatterbrained" as a kid, that I was fine. I never felt fine as a kid. I felt defective.
How can I help her understand that my weight loss has zero to do with my ADD meds, and that I'm losing weight for my health?

Also, I need to add that FM knew I was taking the ADD meds before the issue with my cousin. She said she thought I stopped using them after finding out people were abusing them. o_O

Whoever says that to you is not a fellow ADD sufferer. I AM!! LOL! Sometimes I want to take meds for it, and at other times I hesitate because I feel like they will change me. Surely you have the ability to hyper-focus as well as to lose focus? My hyper-focusing often leads to creativity, as does my wandering brain. It wanders off in the middle of meetings to new plot lines for an upcoming book I'd like to write. I don't want to lose that. But boy, it sure would be nice to make it to a doctor's appointment...or to manage to follow through with making a copy at work instead of finding myself back at my office wondering what had just happened that I still hadn't managed to copy the paper that was in my hand because something in the hallway distracted me. I would like to be able to follow a phone conversation without saying, "I'm so sorry but I just zoned out and have no idea what you just said."

AND I'm losing weight too.

Yes, ADD meds can be abused for the purpose of losing weight. Steroids are abused too, but they sure do help with certain ailments.

Hm. Hard. I wonder if it's not just that she's concerned about your cousin/you abusing the drugs, but more about being uncomfortable with your weight-loss?

She seems to think that she knows more about ADD than your doctor and I wonder if it's really coming out of concern for the drugs or if it's really her own issues with you being thinner/changing?

I still hyper-focus. The meds aren't a "cure-all" and they didn't alter my personality at all. My husband said it kind of concentrated my personality and let it shine through even more. I wasn't as frazzled because I was always late or rushing around or trying to find something. I had time to work on the things I like to do, and like you, I thrive on creativity. I draw, paint, sculpt, knit, sew, write and enjoy photography, just to name a few. It's easier for me to follow a conversation and I'm not as anxious in social situations as I used to. I've said some VERY embarrassing things to people because of no impulse control. It just slipped out. The medication only made it so I can MAKE myself focus on things I need to focus on. It didn't flip a switch and turn me into Martha Stewart (God I wish!) or turn me into Mrs. Norma Normal. I'm quite quirky, I just "have it together" now.

@ Rana, I'm not sure. When I was growing up this person was VERY concerned with appearances. My family was all about making fun of you if you were pudgy. At one time, she told me I was too fat. I was 9 months pregnant. You might be onto something...

I want that life!! [thumbs through phone book for psych] Seriously, that sounds ideal. I have always been very concerned about it changing me.

Maybe this person is feeling like the tables are turning on them (they can't make fun of you anymore or you're not the "fat" family member anymore) and they can't deal with the idea that you might look really good in comparison or just in general.

I struggle with this a lot in my life, my boyfriend sometimes gets scared that I am going to lose all this weight and break up with him. I'm not, but it still worries him.

personally, I'd tell FM to mind their own and it's between you and your docs. That you are taking the ADD meds bc a DOCTOR prescibed them for ADD. When FM gets their med degree they can talk to you again.

You can't convince her that she is wrong on this. No amount of logic and support from professionals will change her mind.

I'm a very open, and unguarded person. I'll answer almost any question without thinking about it. In general, I like my personality, but I've noticed that it's a personality that seems to invite people to give me free advice, even more than they would with other people.

I've had to learn when and how to shut that door to myself (slam it if necessarry) by telling people when the conversation they're starting is not acceptable. There are a thousand ways (some polite and some really firm) to say "I don't want to talk about this, and if you continue to go down this path, I will walk away."

I had to do it with my own mother. To the point that even when I lived an hour away, when I visitied if she got into her "criticize Colleen's life mode," I would give a warrning or two and then if she kept it up I would say goodbye and I would leave for home (even if I had been planning to stay the weekend). It only took a couple of times for her to learn to stop after one warning (I'd hear her griping to my sisters when she thought I was out of hearing that I'd become "so touchy about everything," which I started to get upset about, but realized it didn't matter why she was willing to follow "my rules" as long as she did).

You have a right to make any topic in your life "off-limits." Be clear about your boundaries and stick with them. She may complain and judge to anyone who is willing to listen, but make it clear that you're no longer going to be one of them.

Stand up and walk away if necessary. You do have to do it every time though, because if you allow the conversation even occasionally, she'll probably only try harder and longer - so you've got to stand firm that this is a topic of conversation that you refuse to be a party to.

There is many ADD meds - the one people abuse is Adderall. It is rampant in Hollywood. My friend takes it, she really does have ADD. Her daughter takes Strattera which does not have an appetite supressing effect. Its been all over the news so probably people automatically assume someone is taking Adderall for their ADD.

I'm a pretty private person, and I never could see why it was anyone's business what medications my doctor had prescribed for me - mother, sister, cousin, etc. Except my DH of course.

My medications and the dosage is strictly between my doctor and me.

I'm on Concerta. What I take isn't that big a deal, especially since it's something like ADD. And this person is close family, so when I was first diagnosed I told them. She just assumed that when I found out about others in my family abusing them (more than just my cousin) that I would've stopped because it's addictive. It sure is. Which is why I have regular med checks and I take it exactly as prescribed for me! Neither of the people abusing them had prescriptions. And they were taking Adderall, which is a different chemical than methylphenidate, which is what Concerta is. It's essentially a longer lasting Ritalin.

I guess I'm just going to ignore her, or heck, for all she knows I could tell her I stopped taking them. It's not like she's going to drug test me.

@Pint - just ignore her, if you are taking what you are prescribed than you are doing everything right. I take Xanax and Klonopin for my OCD - both are addictive. I have taken them for almost 10 years. Exactly as prescribed - no more. Is my body addicted? Probably - but if I am taking it exactly as prescribed and its doing what it should, is that really a problem? I don't think so. Ignore the naysayers.

I take Concerta. Never had any weightloss effect on me. I definitely notice when I don't take it.