Well, here I am again feeling like I have hit bottom and can't seem to get back up. I have not seen the 130's since before my first pregnancy almost 10 years ago. About 3 years ago I managed to make it to 141. I was so happy! I felt great. I took a week off to go on vacation with my family and that was the beginning of the end. Slowly 5 lbs crept back but I was still holding steady at about 145/146. Then my world was totally turned upside down.

In the summer of 2009 my husband had to take a job that kept him away from home 4 days a week. Without him home I stopped cooking regularly. Fast food became too easy. Excersizing became too hard being that I was home alone with 2 kids, not sleeping well because my husband was gone, havinig to do everything by myself, and just plain stressed about the turn of events in our life (mostly financial, but thats a whole nother post). Did I mention I can make an excuse for anything!! So in the fall when he was done working I was 10 lbs heavier.

That unfortunatly was just the beginning of our lives turning upside down.

Long story short: Husband came home in Oct. We decided then to buy a business and move 4 hours away. Husband moved to start running said business in Jan. 2010 while me and the kids stayed behind to sell our house.

With us being apart for another 4 months and then the moving, trying to get settled/learn the business and renovate the kitchen in a 110 year old house, eating out just became our staple. So here I am. Holding steady again just at 152 this time.

Our kitchen is pretty much done so I am cooking all meals at home now. Good.
Financial stress is pretty much gone as business is very good. Good.
My treadmill has finally found a spot so I can use it. Good.

Ok so here is my problem. I can't stop eating. I love to eat and I hate food that is good for me. I will buy all the stuff to make salads and I will scrounge around for something different because it is not what I am hungery for. I know willpower is a matter of just doing it, but I have been so out of control for so long now that I just can't seem to get back on top. I always feel like there is something in my way (remember I can make an excuse for anything) like I will end up working later than planned so A: I won't get my walk in. And B: I will have to stop and grab fast food because I ended up working late.

I'm sorry this is so long. I just really need help/encouragement getting back on track. My family is taking a much needed vacation the week before Christmas and I am just sick because I do not want to be this big anymore and for anymore family pictures. I want to be thin again. I want to show my kids (not just tell them) what being healthy is.

Thank you letting me ramble.

I don't know how it is for other people, but for me I fail so much before I have success. I haven't met goal. But over the course of the last few months I've lost 13 pounds. I don't have answers but I know that when you keep trying, success comes. I think back and realize that if I'd stuck it put when I started, I'd be at my goal. And this is very discouraging. But we can't change our past. We can only try try try try try try try again. I want a quick fix, and I want to think that today is the start of a long string of good days. Of weight loss days. And that goal is not another 6 moths away, but two or three months away. But 6 months of a heck of a lot better than never. And I WILL get to that goal weight.

This might sound weird but just force yourself to eat healthy stuff for let's say a week, you get used to it and want to eat that. I've found that if I eat unhealthy food or fast food, whatever, I crave that stuff, a salad or an apple doesn't sound good. BUT, if I eat salads and fruits and veggies, pizza, fast food, junk doesn't even sound good to me. Try it for a couple days, a week...see how it goes. I hope that helps, a little anyway! Good luck!

First, congratulations on all the things that are turning around in your life! I am jealous of your old house!

The good news is that you are *only* 152 lbs! I say that as someone who came here at that weight . I'm not saying that to diminish what you are feeling, I am saying good for you for getting serious before it was a lot more weight to contend with.

Here are a few random ideas:
I know this feeling well about just wanting to EAT, and not usually salad (probably most of us here can relate). Do you have an eating plan? You can always switch later, but it seems like having a plan is the only way to get started. XXX calories, or XXX points, or South Beach/Atkins/whatever. At least that gives you a structure to get started.

PLAN out your day! That is critical for many people, especially when you are beginning. Oh yeah, and then stick to the plan. (that appears to be the hard part for me).

One trick for the eating, not that I am so good at it, but bargain with yourself that the only way you can eat some treat is AFTER you eat whatever healthy thing you had planned. Force it down. Most of the time, after you get through the salad/whatever, you don't want the thing you were craving before. Of course, if you still do, you have to have some serving size in place, like 1 square of dark chocolate. And at least you have something nutritious in you already.

If you choose a plan that allows fruit, I am finding that fruit can often substitute for a sugar craving (duh, it's still sugar!) but is so much more healthy. I've been eating a lot of apples or pears with lowfat cheese or natural peanut butter (measured out).

I have been making yogurt smoothies in the morning - with yogurt, protein powder, a little bit of sweetener and blueberries or cocoa powder. I find it a good way to quickly slip something healthy in when I am not feeling up to cooking and get the day off to a good start.

Personally, I would say cut out the fast food altogether as a first step. Not good for you, not good for your kids (setting up bad habits for the future, I say as someone who ate fast food a lot as a child). Have some backups in place for those times you are working late and don't have time or motivation to cook. Frozen Lean Cuisine-type meals- not that I'm really advocating them - are better than fast food (actually I found a salmon with veggie and whole wheat orzo- Healthy Choice maybe? - that I would eat when pressed for time. Amy's has a lot of good stuff...) A pizza on pita bread takes about 5 minutes to slap together.

I found joining the exercise challenges here at 3fc have kicked my butt into exercising more. You could add some DVDs for strength training to supplement your treadmill work - some of them are only 20 minutes long. Also, you could do Couch to 5K or HIIT intervals on your treadmill to mix things up. These are both discussed a lot in the Exercise section here.

Consider looking into the Beck Diet Solution by Judith Beck. It's a psychological approach to losing weight, focusing on good habits rather than any specific diet. A lot of us here have found it really useful in turning things around. I recommend the pink book - it goes through a 6-week plan, but the green one has most of the same stuff, it just includes an actual eating plan.

It's about 2 months till your vacation. I'd say realistically you probably won't lose more than 10 lbs, if that, BUT you will have great habits in place by then and hopefully you will have dodged the holiday gains. You'll be ahead of all the New Years resolution-ers and will be off to a great 2011. Come post in the featherweights chat and let us know how you are doing!

Can you commit for a day? Then two days? Then a week? Then two weeks? Then a month?

This is how I finally did it after wanting to shed 20 pounds for most of my adult life. I started with one day on plan. And so on and so forth until it became part of my lifestyle.

Now, that said, I love healthy food, so it's easier for me in that regard. But I also love fat and sugar. But, truthfully, that love is something your body learns from you. If you feed it healthy foods, the cravings for junk do die over time. Now I can comfortably indulge a bit here and there and I don't run the risk of going too far.

The other thing I have learned to do is:

1) Continue my plan while on vacation
2) If I do have a day or two off plan on vacation, get right back on track when I get home

It really isn't vacation that derails us: It's not being able to recover afterward. But, honestly? I am happier staying on plan, period. Last time I went on a cruise I indulged in their fabulous fruit, veggies, and fish. That is how I treated myself. I didn't indulge in high-calorie meals and desserts. My body didn't mind at all. It has adapted. Yours will, too. And when I got home and got on the scale? It was so marvelous not to feel the guilt and anger of gaining weight. And, in fact, knowing I was on plan during my vacation made the vacation itself a happier one as well. What is dessert next to feeling confident throughout ten days in the Caribbean?

As for exercise, for me that becomes so much easier when I am eating right. When I eat what I should, I want to work out like I should, too. And your diet is honestly so much more important when it comes to weight loss. Don't get me wrong: exercise reshapes the body. I love the proportions exercise has given me. But I have to watch what I eat to lose weight. Most people do: it's said to be 80% diet and 20% exercise. So get your eating under control and then tackle exercise. You'll want to work out at that point—and, more to the point, you won't feel right now like you have to eat the elephant. Trying to do it all at once is so overwhelming. So start with food.

First of all,

Second of all, I think the biggest challenge is finding a plan that fits YOU. And it sounds to me like salads aren't in that plan. For me, finding and making food I love has been integral to my weight loss. I, too, wanted to cry looking at a head of lettuce, a cucumber, and some diet dressing. But arugula with chopped chicken, strawberries and goat cheese, drizzled with balsamic vinegar? Restaurant quality right in my own kitchen! Or those yummy flatbread wraps, only 90 calories, rolled with some turkey and roasted veggies? Yum again! I've even found that I can whip up two eggs with some feta (250 cals total) super-quickly for a really filling, satisfying and delicious breakfast. It takes mere minutes.

It sounds like you're really busy, so planning is key. You have to plan every meal, and even some contingency meals -- something in the freezer or the pantry that cooks up quickly for those nights you have to work late. Cook up some chicken breasts and freeze them, and you've got a base for a zillion healthy dinners. Did you know you can freeze cooked rice? And we practically live on edamame (even my pickiest DD loves it).

I have to second Emma's recommendation of the Beck Diet Solution. For me, that book forms the bridge between "really wanting to lose weight," and "actually doing all those things I have to do to lose weight." I carried my extra lbs around for 20 years before I got my head in the game. I think I could have gotten there (here?) sooner if I'd only read that book...

Thank you all so much!! At the beginning of the week I felt like the Little Engine sitting at the bottom of a very big hill. Now I feel like I at least have a good run started at the hill. I know this will not be gone over night and I can and will change my habbits. After this afternoon I will have walked about 6/7 miles this week and am finding every opportunity to walk into town, run up and down the stairs, make extra trips around the house. I can and will do this. I may not be at my goal by the time we go on vacation but I will be well on my way. AND I will NOT let my vacation slip me up this time! Thanks again for all of your advice!