I've been going to see my nurse every two weeks, since I've been wanting to get back on track. In the 6 weeks since I started seeing her, I've gained about 6 lbs. I really should adjust my tracker. The conversations are great and it helps me process stuff in my brain when I talk about things. She suggests I talk to a counselor as I have issues.

The main ones being my stressors, my barriers. Being my dad, my husband and my kids and my control issues and chaos. These all add up to me being stress all the time. With my 3 boys, they all have something speech delay, sensory issues, behavior and it's causes quite a bit of stress for me and makes me question myself a lot.

Up until I had kids at 26, life has always been pretty simple for me, I've never had to struggle and I landed a great job paying job that I've been at since 1998. The stress with the boys has built up over the years and I never realized how stressful it was because I just dealt with everything from doctors to behavioral analysts to psychologists, I've just done what needed to be done.

Then this last year finding out about my husband's affair and his daughter, working on my marriage, welcoming his daughter into our home and then...

And then now having my father have terminal cancer. I'm at a breaking point. I can't function, I have come to hate cooking/baking/cleaning/laundry of any kind. I'm finding that my excuse in life is that everything is too chaotic and I can't function and in fact, it's a reality. I can't function and I'm struggling and I don't know how to get out of this emotionally.

So I guess I will be talking to a counselor about it, I will continue to try to get my exercise in and I will make my little steps with staying away from the cigaretts (it's been 4 months) and the pepsi (about a month now) and work on drinking my water and taking my vitamins for now. I will get on the right path again.

I just want to send you a hug.

Yeah, a hug from me too. I'm sorry to hear that life has been so hard for you recently.

We are all here for you. As moms, we have to take on the world! Love Love Love to a beautiful lady!

Hugs. If you need someone to vent to I'm here. I also have a child who is special needs he is ADHD combined type inattentive/impulsive. I will say getting my ADHD Son a behavioral therpaist and pshychiatrist was the best thing I ever did for him, myself, and my family it is never to late to get any kind of help hang in there it WILL get better.

Donna, first off a big hug to you from me.

What you are going through sounds so extremely difficult. Kudos to you for hanging in there and taking care of your kids. I've taught special needs kids in the past, and I know that it is definitely not easy. I kudos any parent that deals 24/7 with their behaviour and challenges.

I think it is good to take a step back every now and then and see how far you have come and break what you have to deal with into chunks that are manageable for you. Some things we don't have control over, but the great things that you are doing for yourself, such as quitting smoking and pepsi are big accomplishments.

I know it is easy to revert back to old habits when we are stressed, but just keep your focus and goal in mind. We all have setbacks, so don't beat yourself up (as I often do), just take each day as it comes and do your best is all you can ask of yourself. Perhaps you can do something to ease the huge load placed on you? Seeing a counsellor is a first step. I used to be a counsellor for troubled teens, so I hope that some of what I said made sense. I always find that it is our struggles that make us stronger. Best of luck!

I want to send you a

I really feel for you and I think you're amazing for handling everything you have on your plate! I hope you know we are all here to listen whenever you need to vent.

Thanks everyone. I have made an appointment with one of the local counselors, so I'll see him on the 18th.

I'm leaving today for two nights just me and a friend in the City and it'll be a much needed break. I'm hoping to hit the gym and pool at the Canada Games Center or at least their walking area.