Weight affects Self Confidence affects Intimacy

  • When my current fiance and I met 3 years ago, I was very sexual. I knew my body better than I ever had before. My self confidence was always flying high. About 8 months prior, I had dumped a boyfriend of 2 years and rediscovered myself. I got my self confidence back by having a "voyeur" camera setup in my home... and chatted online etc. So anyway.. about 5 months into our relationship I stopped doing that, because it was getting to the point where so many people saw me that it wasn't safe anymore (some people at an old workplace found out). But anyway, since then my self confidence plummeted and has stayed at an all time low - for 2.5 years - and I gained about 60 lbs in the interim.

    Because of this drop in self confidence, I just have no desire to have sex. Is it a hormone thing? I noticed recently that I had some light light light fuzz on my face that wasn't there when I was skinnier and healthier. Could that be a sign of something? Will this go away when I lose weight? I yearn to be intimate but I don't know what's wrong with me.

    Has anyone else had this problem? It is causing tension in my relationship... not because we don't have sex, but because I just feel zero desire at all.
  • Hormone imbalances would be best checked by bloodwork. You definitely should speak to a physician! But yes, that could definitely be a contributing factor to a low sex drive. As could any medications you're taking, especially things like mood stabilizers or antidepressants. As we all know, your brain is your most important sex organ. I definitely recommend talking to your family doctor, or bringing it up at your next physical if you have one scheduled soon.

    If it's a confidence thing, one of the most important things I did for myself after my last tragic breakup was joining a burlesque troupe. Maybe that's a bit much for some people but I think it's important to have an outlet to rediscover that meeeooowwwwrrr again

    Best wishes!