I'm going out tonight with friends to see a movie and have dinner tonight. I'm going to have a big dinner with fries and it will tot up to about a thousand calories. I went to the website and checked it all out to make sure I knew what I was eating. Then I planned the rest of the day so I would fall under my calorie budget, I'm on 1,800 because of my weight so it's not as much of a fiddle as it sounds. I'm ready for a water weight blip on the scale because of the salt and the fat is below my allowance.

I just can't shake the feeling, that despite the preparation and the fact that this food is not a reward for me and it's something I'm deciding on, that I'm a failing in some way.

For me... it would be. I fooled myself for a long time saying it was ok to use food for a reward... but that only helped me to lose and relose the same 20 lbs about 15 times.

I can't say the same for you.... you have to do what you're comfortable with and what you can handle on your plan.

Best of luck!

Not even remotely a fail. And you're not planning to fail, ditch that idea, you are planning to accommodate something that is important to you into your Way of Eating. That's what 'normal' people do!

You might find later on on your journey that the idea of a big meal is no longer so important to you but if tonight it is, then you've done your planning.

1. - Be sure that you stick to what you've planned to eat: it's Planned, it's not a fail, so don't think, "O, I'm failing anyway, I might just as well eat X and Y and Z as well".
2. - In the next few days accept the scale ~ you'll be learning what food affects you how. This is being grown up about how we treat our bodies. (Hey, it's taken me 55 years to be this grown up!)
3. - Like you say, drink your water and water and water to minimize any bloat.

You haven't got a Fail, you've got a Plan!

Real life means planning exactly the way you're doing. Failing is when you set out to do one thing and instead find yourself off the rails overeating foods you didn't intend to eat.

The only thing I'd caution you about is that you try to make good food choices. I hope those fries are made with fresh, whole potatoes and are the best that could be had anywhere--otherwise, they aren't worth it.

Be prepared for your weight loss to stall for a bit. Know that as long as you stay with your calorie target, you'll be OK in the long run.

Cheers!
Jay

I agree with the previous posts, especially Rosinante... that's basically exactly what I was going to say. And like you said, it's not a reward, it's just a social outing and this is how it's going to play into your plan. You've allocated calories for it, and are prepared to see a wobble on the scale. If you came on here and told us all "I've lost __ so I figure I deserve to eat fries, etc." we would all remind you that you can't reward good eating with bad eating. But you're not doing that, so go on out with your friends, enjoy every bite of your food, and carry on with your plan. And have fun!

This. Is life worth living if you can't make an occasional concession while you're out and about?? If you plan your meals in advance, you'll make accommodations for your other meals during the day and stay closer to your calorie range.

It's difficult when there's a group of people getting together to insist on going to one particularly 'healthy' restaurant. You don't want to become antisocial or a food zealot! Totally agree with what Rosinante said. Also, make sure that this one break in your regular eating habits doesn't cause a slide over the next few days. Remain vigilant, and aware of if it causes cravings, etc. Either way, this can also be a learning experience for you to put under your belt!

ETA: Enjoy your evening out!

Is it a fail? What do you define as a fail?

In the "real world" it is okay to eat certain foods. The frequency and portion size are what determine whether it is sustainable or not.

I don't think of foods as good or bad. There are foods that are better for me than others. For me this journey is about finding balance.

Thanks guys, I appreciate the idea that 'I've not got a fail, I've got a plan.' I was surprised when hearing it put that way made it click a little more in my head. Tomorrow I'm going to go back to the routine of eating healthy and solid breakfast, lunch and dinner. I also got on the bike for an hour this afternoon to offset the cost a little bit.

It feels like I've not been out properly in ages Don't worry, I won't fall out of my plan, now that I know I've got one

Rewarding yourself with food is a slippery slope. Why are you feeling the need for this? Food should never be a reward. You can't be getting in all your healthy choices for the day eating 1000 calories of fat and poor choices. That's actually a punishment. If we want to be successful, we need to take charge of eating situations and contine to make the best choices, not fall into this trap. All you are doing is undoing what good you have done before. You can never return to old food choices and ways of eating if you want to be successful and not be a yo-yo dieter.

She says
Personally, I think that you can't go through life never having another meal out ever again, or never having fries ever again. So long as it's not too often - you can have a meal out with fries!!

I did exactly this just last night. I planned on Mexican. I ordered the Fajita and asked for it with extra onion and to please serve it with a plate of lettuce and cooked tomatoes instead of the refried beans and rice crap. It was THE best Fajita salad I have ever had! I had a whopping two ounce salt blip this morning. Quite worth it.

That's living. We went out with friends. We enjoy meeting for dinner now and then. I couldn't do this if I couldn't make it work in my life.

You are planning to incorporate a great night out with friends INTO YOUR LIFESTYLE. That is in NO WAY a fail. GREAT JOB!!!!

I agree. The only thing that seems a bit off is the calorie count you are projecting for a restaurant meal including fries. Seems pretty low count to me. I've noticed most restaraunt's nutritional info is for the entree only (even for meals that come automatically with certain sides like fries), with the fries listed in a seperate section.

That's what I was thinking. Heck at Red Robin restaurant, many of the burgers are well in the 1200 calorie range for the burger alone. Add fries and a few drinks and you are talking 2500 for the meal.

I'd only warn the OP to use extra caution. Being at the beginning stages of this journey, sometimes these little blips can create huge detours. For me it wouldn't be worth it, but I wanted the weight off ASAP. Many people don't care how long it takes, and that is fine too...if you can handle the added cravings from a carb heavy meal.