I have had weight issues since puberty. My roommate has been up and down just over the last 10 years or so and has never really had a "problem" with her weight.

She has started to lose weight again (she goes up and down with the same 20-30lbs) and is doing really well for herself. Of course I'm happy for her! I love her to death and always want what's best with her. She's an incredible person and deserves all things good.

My problem is, is that instead of looking at this as motivation, I can't help but feel jealous and that makes me ashamed and hate myself. I have way more weight to lose than she does and she takes it off so quickly. Don't get me wrong, she works for it, but it's gone within a couple of months and I just don't lose it like that.

I am very supportive and encouraging but sometimes just wish I was in a better place so my support and encouragment could feel as good as it sounds. I'm sure she can see right through me because she knows me so well, but I am honestly very happy for her results...just wish I could be doing that well too.

Does anyone else ever feel this way??? Or have any advice on how to deal with this terrible feeling?

I don't have advice, but I can tell you that I have felt the same thing.

I've been losing weight for 3 years now (tomorrow is the anniversary of my current weight loss journey). Over those years I've had periods of struggle where I've gained weight and then had to lose back the pounds I've put on. I've always managed to somehow get back "on program" and move on into new territory even it is sometimes took months.

About a year and a half ago, my brother had gastric bypass surgery and he dropped 120 pounds within a very short amount of time. He looks great and is doing very well. I'm really happy for him and this truly was a life saving thing for him to do. He still has about 100 pounds to lose.

I was a bit jealous that he was able to accomplish in a matter of months what took me almost 2 years. Also, I'm in fear that if I ever do have a major relapse that it will be much harder for me to lose the weight than it would be for him.

I guess these feelings are normal. I don't wish I had WLS as that is not something I wanted to do and I'm glad I was able to lose the weight on my own.

Lynncharlene, I know exactly what you mean! One of my very close friends moved away last year and lost a great deal of weight. I never thought she was fat before; in fact, I always thought she was beautiful, and the fact that she wasn't really thin and was still stunning always made me feel a bit more comfortable in my own body. When I saw her again this summer, it was a huge shock. As I said, I always found her beautiful, but she's a knock-out now, and more than that, she seems to be a lot happier.

Of course, I'm happy for her, and it's wonderful to see her with so much self-confidence. But I have to admit that I was really jealous. I know rationally that her weight loss has nothing at all to do with me, but in my own unhappiness with myself, it just seemed to underline my own failure to be genuinely comfortable in my own body.

Unfortunately, I don't have much advice to give you, but I wanted to let you know that there are others who can identify with your feelings! The only thing that I can say is that once I started to make progress with my own weight loss, my envy turned more to admiration. That she did so much in less than a year motivates me to no end. It looks like you are still near the beginning of your weight loss; maybe as you see your own progress, you will feel less jealous of your roomie.

In any case, I don't think you can change how you feel by worrying about it. Continue to be as supportive as you can, and acknowledge to yourself that you are jealous. Try not to feel guilty about it, but don't dwell on it, either. If you really feel that it's affecting your relationship, maybe you could even bring it up with her so that she knows what's going on.

My best friend recently lost about 65 pounds in 9 months and, yeah, I've been feeling pretty envious. The thing is, my jealousy is coming from my own anger at myself. Anger at being fat, being lazy, being stupid, not starting my own loss earlier, getting fat in the first place, just so much anger towards myself.

I have been trying as of late to be positive to myself, never ever angry or hateful, but after buying into how bad it is to be fat all my life, turning around the voices in my head is TOUGH! I do a lot better on the days where I'm kind to myself; the old self hatred was never a very good motivator. Maybe try to stop being mad at yourself for what you haven't done, and be happy with yourself for the things in life you HAVE done at the same time making a change to drop some lbs!

I'm with you, girl!

I am ashamed at my jealousy of others that loose weight faster. My dear, sweet husband decided to jump on the weight loss wagon January 1st of this year. I had started a couple of months prior and was happy to have him on the wagon with me! I sorta rolled my eyes a little, because he was a "New Year's Resolution" weight loss guy.

Anyway - Since January 1st, I have lost 35lbs, and he has lost....85lbs!!! It's extremely frustrating to have people gush over his loss and then give me the token "Oh, and it looks like you've lost a little to."

I, like you, work really hard and fight every single day for my ONE pound per week. I get up at 5:30am 5-6 days a week to exercise, count every little calorie I put in my mouth, take the stairs, park further away, run around and play more at the park with the kids...

Hang in there. It's hard - but focus on YOU. YOUR personal best may be vastly different from someone else's. It's okay!! YOU rock on.

thanks everyone for your responses. It does help to know other people are going through this.

It's especially hard because I tell her everything and I just dont want to talk to her about it because I know that will make her not want to share her successes and challenges with me for protective reasons and this is not what I want at all. I just want to learn how to deal with this.

A couple of years ago, we had a friend of ours move in with us for 2 months in order for the three of us to begin weight watchers together. He was about 350lbs and really needed the extra help and motivation. This whole thing was my idea, and they both did so much "better" than I did. And when we'd go out, everyone gushed about him and about her and even though I had lost almost 20lbs, it wasn't as noticeable on me (cuz he lost about 50 so it was obvious, and she didn't have much to lose so her 20 was more noticeable). It made me feel so terrible and sad and angry. It just made me realize that this is MY battle to fight, no one else's and that I should just try to go it alone.

Anyway, I don't want to be bitter any longer about my limited success in comparison to other peoples' stories. I'm trying to stay positive. Chatting about it helps, but I can't talk to her about it so thought I'd come here...