Hi All,

I need some advice from people who get what it means to be a binge eater.
My family doesn't and I'm too ashamed to ask my friends.

Quick background:
I am a total binge eater, and after years of yo-yo dieting I finally got a therapist, and have switched my focus from the number on the scale to the reasons behind my eating. It's a slow process, and I've only dropped just over 10lbs in 2 months. Previously using old methods I could drop 12lbs in 2 weeks.

My problem:
My therapist suggested that instead of restricting my favorite foods I should surround myself with them. So eventually I will no longer have forbidden foods, and no longer have the urge to binge ,seems like a good idea. However, my fear is that while I'm letting myself eat whatever, my weight will just keep climbing.

Has anyone tried this method? Did you have any success? Most importantly how long did it take for you to get sick of your forbidden foods?

Really need advice. I trust my therapist, but trusting mysef.....well what binge eater can do that around food?

Well, I can definitely see what he's saying! I have the same kind of problem, I am just recently coming to terms with what it means to not restrict yourself, I always had issues with binges as a result of some childhool issues with food.
But, I also see what you're saying, that would be scary for me too. I still have the ability to pack the food in hardcore, and if I ever let go I would seriously just go nuts. But maybe there is a middle ground? Maybe you can work toward treating yourself to something you like every day. It doesn't necessarily mean buying a whole lot of bad food and letting it sit around, because that would seriously wreak havoc with me too. When I eat not-so-fantastic foods I make a point of only seeking out a single portion, and I just work it into everything. If you love cheetos, eat a bag of cheetos. If you really love tacos, eat some tacos. There is a difference between treating yourself to the things you like (in moderation, because you can eat it whenever!), and buying a ton of bad stuff and only ever eating it.

Of course, I am not your therapist, but I feel ya on it. Life is too short to not eat the food you like, but it's long enough to have plenty of chances to eat healthy too. :-)

Great advice, and there is a ton of healthy food I enjoy as much as the "bad" stuff.

So using the single portion method, do you trust yourself around that food now?

There's a good book on this called Feeding the Hungry Heart by Geneen Roth. I have not tried it, but she has helped a lot of people. Good luck!

http://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Hungry.../dp/0452270839

That sounds terrifying!

I had a similar experiance, but a lot of the factors were different. When I was a kid (about 6 or 7) my mom thought I wanted too much candy, and so to try to get me to stop going after junk all the time, the doctor told her to do what your therapist is asking you to do: eat whatever I want whenever I want it. The theory was that I'd eventually get bored with it and would start craving veggies and other healthy foods. Also, if they were no longer forbidden by my mother (restricted food), I'd stop wanting them.

I would have candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner instead of whatever my mom was serving. I had it because that's what I wanted. My mom couldn't take it for very long, watching me eat so much candy, so she only let me do it for about 2 days, I think.

I'm 28 now--obviously, it didn't work. Of course, I think it makes a difference that I was so young and totally oblivious to heath issues at the time. So very different. But still...I know that it will never work for me, because until I started eating healthy, I basically was surrounded by my favorite foods and never got sick of binging on junk. I could go back to it this second if there were no health/emotional consequences.

Would not work for me. The only way I finally broke my candy habit was to go cold turkey. Can't tell you how many times I tried eating candy exclusively to try to make myself sick of it. Haven't eaten candy in 5.5 years now but still want it.

I too went cold turkey. I was able to introduce little things back into my diet as I made goal, but during the process, I was very strict with myself. It was hard, SO HARD, but I asked myself if I wanted to be fit or fat.

I thought cold turkey was the way for me too, it wasn't. I was the type of person that if I got one taste of something I loved, forget it, there was no control and I'd eat the whole thing. Now for over 2 weeks, I have been buying junk foods I usually crave, allowing myself to have in moderation what I am craving. It's working much better, I didn't binge yet. I did over eat 2 days, but in no way was it a binge with uncontrollable feelings or til i was so stuffed i felt sick. I stopped when I was full, knowing I could have more some other time gave me a feeling of being at peace with having junk food around. I now have control that I never had. I'm not so anxious to go pig out on it cause it's not forbidden. It might work for you, just take control over the food and feel like you have won!

Thanks everyone for the responses. I apologize for not responding sooner I was away at work.

I'm still mullling things over, but just writing about my fears seems to have helped.

Also on this last work trip, I didn't spend the whole time obsessing over the room service menu.....so small victories.

Thanks again.

Hey to all,
So what your therapist suggested is not a bad idea. I have two small kids and my little guy loves dognuts, cakes, muffins etc. Which are my biggest downfall. I have at least one of those in the house at all times, whether its a cake, or muffins or dognuts. I have had to deal with it the hard way but I did it. It's been a long process and there are days I can pick up a piece of cake and have one bite and put it back. I won't even look twice at it after that. There are days I just want to eat the entire cake. On those days I take it out of sight, for example right now we have a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting which I love but I put it in the fridge and have not touched it. If we have something like muffins I will let my kids have one and then put the rest in the cabinet or something so I don't have to have them in plain sight.
I do the same with my kids and it has worked wonderfully. I have chocolate all over the house and they rarely eat it. If they want a piece they ask and they can have one or two. I have had to throw out candy because it got so old! They see it and don't crave it. I love that! We went to the parade on Labor day and they got three bags full of candy so they came home put it on the table chose what they liked and put it in the candy dish so they could have it later on and guess what - its still there!
It works well for us but again it doesn't work for everyone. Good luck finding that balance!

I think that might work for some, but not for me and I see not for a few others, either.

I am a binge eater and I have a serious lack of self control. Once it occurs to me to eat something, I’m probably going to do it no matter how much I try to resist or the fact that I know better. If I were surrounded by all my favorite foods, I would eat them, plain and simple. This is probably because my eating comes from an emotional place and doesn’t really have anything to do with “forbidden” or “restricted” foods. My desire to eat half a package of Oreo’s does not dissipate if I tell myself that they aren’t “off limits”.

In some ways it works for me to have what I crave in the house. I can say, yes, I have it and yes I can have it later. And I'll have that goody for months. But when I do finally open it, it's gone really quick.

when I'm in a binging mood I can eat just about anything.

I've gotten better with my binges though. It helped that I went cold turkey for awhile and when I started eating the "bad" foods I realized that I didn't really like the taste of a lot of it any longer. Pop tarts for one-I mean I used to eat them by the boxful everyday, now I don't really like the taste of them.

Is your therapist a 'certified weight loss' therapist of any kind?

I'm thinking you'd not recommend this to an alcoholic or any other type of addict.

My thought is NO WAY... Because I HAVE immersed myself in junk food... didnt help.

I think it completely depends on what your mindset is about food and what causes you to lose control.

I know for me one of issues is a deprivation mindset...I have to eat it all right now, because it won't be there later. Because of this, having "forbidden foods" around the house helps because I know it's there and I can check every day and see that it's still there. It's not disappearing, so I'm ok with leaving it alone. I have an unopened bag of candy in the freezer. I check on it once in awhile but I don't need to eat it. But if it wasn't there, I'd be stopping at the convenience store every day on the way home from work to buy a candy bar that I would inhale in about 2 seconds. (Yes, I know that sounds wacked. )

I say trust your therapist. He/she knows what's going on in your head, and is (hopefully) making exactly the recommendation that you need. If it doesn't work, though, tell the therapist immediately. Don't let yourself get out of control and say your therapist gave you permission.