So last year I was diagnosed with EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) with both anorexic and bulimic tendencies. After a lot of help, I got down to a healthy weight of 135 without self starvation, etc and was moderately happy there.

Well, I got pregnant and fat and now weigh 185ish. I of course attempted a huge crash diet which failed today, which isn't surprising as I was barely eating anything, so much so, that I lost almost 5 pounds of water weight in one day. Anyways, I do need to lose weight and be healthy, but I'm already falling back into a destructive cycle, which scares me. Advice and support would be greatly appreciated.

Did you have a treatment team that provided you with your ED diagnosis? You really need to get yourself back to the same people who helped you recognize destructive patterns and behaviors before.

I'd really advise you to talk to your doctor or other health professional, as soon as you can, so you can get yourself back on a path to wellness.

I'm pretty much in a similar boat. I've had both anorexic & bulimic tendencies for 4 years now.

All I can say, really, is that you're not alone. PM me anytime.

I had a therapist back in Hawaii. Unfortunately, I moved to CA and lost my health insurance so therapy isn't really an option at the moment, especially with prices here in CA. I tried a low cost general therapist, but quickly discovered therapists who don't specialize in E.D.s have no idea how to help. "You just have to eat" isn't really helpful at all.

CAMMIE ~ there are some threads on this sight where others with similar issues support each other: I think one is called CHICKS IN CONTROL or something similar to that; check it out.

Yes, such ED's are more complex than some therapists realize; and you would probably do even better with some professional help. I wonder if a local hospital could refer you to someone. You would think that there must be an ED specialist somewhere in California, but you may have to pay out of pocket for now. Maybe see them once a month to start; then every other week, later on if you need to and can afford it.

Also, maybe try googling for sites that offer help with eating disorders like anorexia, etc to see what you can find. Starting this thread may help you if others can come here and give you some support too. Since you have had some successful therapy in the past, you may be able to help others too.

cammie,

I am on the other end of the spectrum - I am a food addict and binge binge binge - one thing that helps me is to plan out all my meals everyday, and instead of eating breakfast lunch and dinner, I plan out six small meals maybe it would help if you made a plan until you can find an ED specialist, i know healthcare sucks with no insurance - some therapist will offer sliding scale fees. I wish you much luck.

I also have suffered from eating disorder tendencies. While I know you have to be a certain percentage below your healthy body weight to be diagnosed as anorexic my behaviors (about 15 years ago) were very anorexic like and eventually I developed bulimia. Today I tend to do the binge eating without the purging so there truly is no magic fix. I think that age does help because my goal to lose weight is now much more of a health fixation than a visual appeal one. I nearly died at the beginning of the year from a pulmonary embolism so I really realize now how fragile the human body is. I do have to be aware of my vitamin k intake which means I have to watch certain vegetables and exercise is difficult for me because of permanent damage done to my lungs. While I still struggle with overeating and making unhealthy choices I am getting a lot better. I know it isn't easy but maybe if you can change the focus of your weight loss to one of overall health instead of looking good than maybe it will be easier for you to move away from those destructive tendencies that are in the long run worse for you than being overweight. Plus I am proof positive that those behaviors are not a long lasting fix. I lost 80lbs starving myself and then maintained it by binging and purging but today am far heavier than I ever was when I started "dieting".

This was a post I made on an ED website on Aug 20:
I am 28 years old, and have been battling an ED-NOS for 17 years. I have had my ups and downs and pretty much settled on eating at least three meals a day (extremely low cal) and exercising for the last three years.

I thought I was mainly over it. I had been through therapy for those three years (a pregnancy sparked my three year turn around), but went on a triggering vacation that really screwed with my head. I went to South Beach and stayed at the W Hotel - those who are familiar would know that it's jam-packed with celebrities and "perfection."

I didn't eat at all. For my entire three day vacation by the pool (horrendous choice) I drank, didn't eat, and cried. It was one of the most embarrassing and humiliating times of my life. My significant other decided that we should call it quits at the end of our vacation because "getting involved with someone who has so much to work on in themselves is folly." I can't say I blame him, and we are still friendly now.

I used the weekend as a catalyst for change and hired a nutritional therapist. She and I have been working on training my body to eat 1600 calories a day and not go three waking hours without food. Although I have been following plan, I feel disgusting. I'm uncomfortable in my own body and it's so difficult to even do the simplest tasks (get dressed, run errands, work) because I'm just so disgusted with myself. I don't know if I've really gained weight, but I FEEL larger because of the eating. I would venture to say that I'm technically not larger, but my mind is tricking me into thinking I am for the vast amount of food I'm taking in. After all, my ED is saying "eat like a pig, look like a pig."

So fast-forward to now. I have been incredibly vigilant about staying within her plan, eating as she is telling me. I feel FABULOUS. For the first time in my life, I'm sleeping, have energy, my moods are very stable, and I'm pretty content. We not only do menu planning, but a fair amount of talk/writing therapy.

My menu plans look like this, though I tweaked them with her assistance so I wouldn't feel quite so full.

Breakfast
1 protein + 1 omega + 1 grain + 1 optional veggie
My Example:
1 egg, 1 piece turkey bacon, 1/2 bagel thin, spinach

Snack
1 grain + 1 calcium + 1 fruit
My Example:
2 wasa crackers, 1/2 cup blueberries in 1/2 cup Greek Yogurt
(I tweaked to the wasa with a piece of lowfat cheese)

Lunch
1 grain + 2 veggies + 1 fruit + 2 protein + 1 omega
My Example:
Salad with cucumbers, chicken, dried cranberries, nuts/seeds, and a healthy dressing

Snack
1 veggie + grain + 1 omega
My Example:
Pretzels and cherry tomatoes with hummus
(I tweaked to just cherry tomatoes or carrots w/hummus)

Dinner
1 grain + 2 veggies + 3 protein + 1 omega
My Example:
1/2 cup whole wheat pasta, 1/2 cup mashed cauliflower, 1 cup roasted brussel sprouts + 3 1oz turkey meatballs
(I typically don't eat quite this much, but I try!)

Snack:
1 fruit + 1 omega
My Example:
1/2 banana with 1 TBSP natural peanut butter

The best thing I ever did for myself was hire this woman. She is helping me with something I've intended to fix for years, and I finally feel the progress within myself.
Good luck to you!

By offering this complete continuum of treatment, we can not only meet the needs of all patients who require treatment, we can also change treatment to adapt to the patient's needs as the patient progresses toward recovery. This approach encourages the patient to progress