Hi Everyone,

Ever since I've set out to lose these last 15-25 pounds (who knows what it will end up being, I just want to be happy with what I see and how I feel), I feel like I've been sabotaging myself with my mind. I'm trying to figure out what is going on and am seeking some other opinions or similar experiences.

When I was obese, there was no questioning it. I NEEDED to lose weight and I hated looking at myself, putting on clothes, how I felt, etc. Now that I am down to almost a healthy weight and a weight people think "fits" me when I'm wearing clothes, at least...I find myself caring less about following my diet and exercise plan. I feel great a lot of the time. I feel healthy and I wear normal size clothes. But, deep down, I'm still not at my goal. I still feel fat when I sit down, when I look at myself without clothes on, or when I am really honest with myself. So, I still care about getting in better shape...except when I want to snack. Then, I think I'm doing great, and what is another week at my less than ideal but pretty good weight?

I think this has something to do with how far I've come. When I want to snack or go of the diet or be lazier about working out, I see that I've already lost so much weight and I'm pretty normal. But, like I said, I don't TRULY feel that way. It's in my head. I hate that I can trick myself into keeping me from my goals.

How do I battle this attitude? Help!

At the very least, this has helped me figure out maintenance. I know how I can eat and maintain...but I'm not at that point yet!

Thanks for any feedback,

Alli

Hi Alli!

First of all, congratulations on how far you've come! You've accomplished something amazing.

I think what you're experiencing is pretty common for people who have lost a lot. You've seen such incredible changes, it's not surprising you're feeling happy enough where you are and having trouble buckling down for the last few lbs. (I think being "kind of OK" with my starting weight is what kept me from really getting started in the first place.)

Whenever someone is stalled (whether physically or motivation-wise), I always suggest switching things up. Go online and download a bunch of new recipes. Dig through this site for new ideas for breakfast. Try some new forms of exercise -- a zumba class (all of a sudden everyone is zumba-ing!), boot camp, etc.

Or, how about an exercise goal? Like running a 5K, 10K, 10 miler? Or hiking half dome at Yosemite? Or doing one of the 3-day breast cancer walks? A big exercise goal can be so motivating!

Lastly, how about minigoals? Like stay on plans two weeks, treat yourself to a pedi. Break it up into pieces.

You can do it!

OT: I LOVE San Diego! We lived there for four years and are hoping to move back next summer!

Alli:

I could have written this post myself! I know exactly how you feel and look forward to seeing what others have to say (sorry I have no wisdom to share )

Momof5k: I'm glad there is at least someone else out there to commiserate with me!

TheSame7lbs: Thank you for your really helpful advice. I took your advice to change up my plan a bit. I went back to a class that I used to do (it costs a lot, so that's why I avoided going back to it), but it's helped me re-motivate. I'm also trying to focus on smaller goals and sticking to them. My new goal is to get to the 140s. I was 151 on Tuesday, but indulged myself at a meeting on Wednesday...I'm probably back up a bit, but here's to sticking with a mini-goal!!!

OT: I also LOVE San Diego!! I grew up here and then moved away to Chicago for school, lived in LA for a bit, and now I'm back in San Diego for more school. It's wonderful. I hope you DO get to move back here!

No words of wisdom from me either, all I have to say is that I am in AWE of you folks who have lost a lot of weight. It has taken me nearly two years of struggling to lose just 14 lbs

You guys ROCK. And you might just be cruising through the featherweights right on to maintenance since you have figured out a lot of the healthy behaviors already. But if you take a while to reach your goal weight, that's OK too, this is a nice place to hang out

Thanks for the pep talk, Emma!

I think that part of the frustration, too, is that losing these last 20 pounds is so much harder than it was when I was bigger. I don't know if this has any credibility to it, but I'm now at my more "regular" weight, which I feel is harder to lose because it's been there longer. The other 75 pounds were just there for a couple years, so I feel like somehow it was easier to shed.

I actually only gained the 70+ pounds over 4 years in my early 20s. So, the last 20-30 are my bonus pounds to get to that ideal body I never prioritized. Health was never my priority when I was younger (or until the last year, really). It was always on the back burner with school and career ahead all else. Finally I am putting my health and happiness on equal par. It makes everything more productive, that's for sure. What a huge lesson.

Now, if I could just have the selfish pay-off for the lesson, please!!

Hi abc! I'm right there with you girl! It's so much harder toward the end to find the motivation to meet goal. I actually have hit my goal twice this year only to pop back up to a higher weight. Why? Because, like you I wanted to let loose a little, snack a little, exercise less. It didn't work for me, but that's okay, because this is a process and I'm going to keep learning. One thing someone told me when I was nearing goal but felt like quitting is that I shouldn't just accept "good enough" because I deserve more that that. I deserve to actually meet the goal I set for myself. I deserve for my dream to come true! You've come this far, so why not take it all the way? You can do this! Welcome to you!

I can relate somewhat- I was 199 lbs and busted my butt to get to 140, then at 140 I felt much better, more confident, healthier etc... I knew I still wanted to lose more, but I also knew that where I was at (140) wasn't too bad at all so I really just sort of fell off the wagon- for two years I have been maintaining around this weight.....once I even got to 131 and gained 9lbs back because I started overeating and not working out enough.....I had a sort of "I'm not totally happy, but I'm also not totally unhappy" attitude. Now I'm changing, I'm getting to my target which is 125, however in all honestly I'll be happy in a size 4- currently in a size 6 because it seems the lower number of lbs I get the slower the number moves on the scale, however I am noticing changes with the measuring tape and how my clothing fits. For me I'm either REALLY, REALLY good or REALLY, REALLY bad.

You can do this, WE can do this, we just have to want it really badly!

I definitely think the body has a comfy 'normal' weight, and getting thinner than that is SO difficult and requires constant attention - its no longer JUST about choosing healthy and exercising regularly - losing weight takes on a new level of hard-ness. Everything has to be perfect (diet and exercise), just to say goodbye to 1/5 of a pound. But, it can be done!

I'm going through that right now too, Alli. On a good day I'll get up and look at myself in the mirror and go "well this is fine isn't it?" My friends compliment me and my clothes are all falling off and I know it will be a tremendous challenge to stay on track and lose more - even maintaining will require some effort.

I tell myself that I'm not getting any younger and it's not going to get easier later on to lose weight and shape up. I've never been an "ideal" weight and feel cheated sometimes because of that - so what better time than now? Keep your eyes on the prize.

Thank you everyone. These recent posts have REALLY helped me in moments where I was going back to, "I look pretty good, I've come so far."

Just a few minutes ago, I was eating a healthy dinner but thinking about how I had a tough day and wanted to have some unhealthy snacks.

I'm not going to do it. I'm choosing to remember what I really want.

Keep it up, everyone! Thank you again.