Family Obstacle

  • Hi. I dont know if I am posting this in the right area but I want someone to talk to about this. Or just to know I am not the only one with this issue. I am working on losing 100+ pounds of weight that I have had on my frame for a long time. I own the choices that got me to this point. So in trying to lose the weight I have had a major issue. I am one of those sorts of people who give into temptation very easily. (que the music: dum dum dum)

    So I notice a pattern of falling off the wagon that has occurred that maybe someone can help advise me with. My dad who I live with is overweight and diabetic. Doesn't diet or want to change his ways. He is always asking to do takeout or get pizza. (Note to add here: I am a extreme people pleaser) So I will be like ok... (behave behave) Get only 1 or 2 items. Which I manage to do most of the time but when it comes to the pizza I always argue for 1 pizza instead of 2 because why have a ton of left overs? But he always over rules me and gets 2 18 inch pizzas which I can't stay away from.

    I think I need to just get the strength just to say no.
  • I think you saying no would be the bes thing you can do for your dad and you. You're enabling him in his unhealthy lifestyle. Just like people can enable alcoholics or drug addicts. Also unfortunately for you your diet is getting affected by it. Let him know you are changing your life and if he wants to continue eating like that he needs to do it on his own.
    I know how hard it will be, but you can do it!!
  • omg pizza is my nemesis lol I would be going crazy in that situation!

    I really agree with AmandaMoon, and I think the best thing you can do is to actually sit down and discuss this with him. Which can totally be embarrassing and tough but once you get it out then it can make things much better.

    Let him know that you want to be healthier and it is really hard to do that without some support. If he wants to eat horrible it is his choice but ask him for a compromise and be able to get only one pizza and also order salads or something like that.

    Also maybe start cooking. If you go shopping and have plans laid out and all the ingredients for a dinner then it will help with not having as much fastfood. Can't let the food go to waste ya know. Then you can make yummy dinners that are a big healthier. Make homemade pizza with wheat crust, low sugar sauce, low fat cheese and lots and lots of veggies!

    Sometimes I find in that situation if one person just kindof takes charge and plans meals the other person will be more likely to go along with it. But make slow changes toward healthy so you don't scare them off lol.

    My husband eats horrible and has no inclination to change so I just tell him not to have it around me lol But when I do make meals for us it helps a ton!

    Goodluck!
  • It's very hard to have a food pusher. Maybe sit him down and explain that you want to have a longer life, a healthier body, and just plain FEEL better. As a parent, if my child came to me asking for my help in transforming his for the better, I'd feel like it was my duty.

    Otherwise - can you leave the house when he has it? I've done that when my hubby was being a butt about my choices in food....
  • I agree with the ideas above -- go shopping and have some healthy foods and meals planned ahead so you don't have to do take out all the time. Once a week, we still have a fun food (Friday nights) but I still have my salad too. Pizza can be 1 or 2 slices with a salad; or I make my own healthier version on a round whole grain Pita bread.

    My DH has come around and eats most of what I make now. The only thing extra he likes is "real" french fries about 1 or 2 times a month -- the last time, I still had my chicken patty and a salad: I took about 10 fries and DH ate the rest. Other times, I just have baked sweet potatoes fries instead.

    Very often, I will make an alternative to what he is having; over time, this has become easier and easier. Start with small changes ... one day at a time. Also, sit down and explain to him that you are concerned about your health and want to do something about it now, and would like his support. How about suggesting healthy meals 6 nights a week and one night his choice of take-out BUT only in a limited amount. Don't forget the salad to go with it ...

    If he won't go along with that; make your own meals and eat before him; then go somewhere else like your room or out somewhere while he eats by himself. On the other hand, maybe he just doesn't know how to eat healthy and he may welcome a few healthy meals, esp if you made them for him ...
  • I kind of have the same problem with my husband. He understands the fact that I want to lose weight and that I want to be healthy; he supports it and goes with the flow when I change the menus and stuff. He knows what's healthy and what's not... yet he likes buying snacks, and doughnuts, and candy... it's so frustrating! Sometimes jokingly he says "I made you fat because I am fat" and of course there comes the awkward silence. I don't want to admit to it, but in part what he says is true... I just don't want to hurt his feelings admitting to it. But that's only 50% of the story.

    The other 50% of the story is me and my choices. I can say no to the candy he buys. I can say yes to working out. I can say yes to buying healthy snacks instead of eating the bad stuff he likes to buy every now and then. I can say no to blaming him totally for my weight gain.

    Make sure that you're doing well with YOUR 50% and hopefully that'll give you strength to say no when you feel tempted to please others with bad choices that affect your life for worse.