STRICT IS MY DIET, I MUST NOT WANT,
IT MAKETH ME TO LIE DOWN AT NIGHT HUNGRY.
IT LEADETH ME PAST BASKIN-ROBBINS
IT TRIETH MY WILLPOWER,
IT LEADETH ME IN THE PATH OF STARVATION
FOR MY FIGURE'S SAKE.
YEA, THOUGH I WALK THE AISLES OF THE PASTRY DEPARTMENT,
I WILL BUY NO SWEET ROLLS, FOR THEY ARE FATTENING,
THE CAKES AND THE PIES, THEY TEMPT ME,
BEFORE ME IS A TABLE WITH CELERY & LETTUCE,
MY DAYS QUOTA RUNNETH OVER,
SURELY CALORIES AND WEIGHT CHARTS
SHALL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE,
AND I SHALL DWELL IN FEAR OF THE SCALES FOREVER.
