Hi there! I just wanted to post a little on why I decided to kick my health journey in gear and would love to hear from all of you why you made the decision to do so as well... or why you hope that you can start your journey soon if you are struggling right now. Hearing your stories is such an inspiration to me and getting mine out there will help me stay on track and remember why I am doing this (especially on those really hard days!) I am finally losing it ... and doing it the healthy way and am really proud

A little backstory on me: I am 27 years old and have had a wonky relationship with food my entire life. I am 6'2" and was always a tall child. As a young child I was long and lean, but as adolescence came I gained a lot and was no longer lean... I was just big. In high school, I started dieting with the help of a weight loss clinic here in town and they gave me a weight loss drug. Well, that helped so much and the lbs came off so fast that I became obsessed with the #s. By my junior year in high school I was suffering with full-blown anorexia. After an intervention with my school administration and my parents, I entered treatment and recovered from that disorder over the next few years. Then as I entered college, I found it harder and harder to deal with the freshman fifteen ... that was turning into a freshman fifty. To combat this, I started bingeing and purging and once again fell prey to another eating disorder. I dealt with the bulimia until last year when I was finally able to stop all purging and just dealt with the bingeing and overeating. I am DONE with all of that now!! I have been on a strict diet (but not starving myself) for the past month and a half and have lost 38 lbs! I will NOT give up until I am at my goal weight and am living a healthier lifestyle.

Sorry, that part was longer than I thought it would be. So, now for why I want to get healthy. My number one reason is to have a baby. I am single and see it staying that way, so I will already have a pretty long road when it comes to having a child. I could find someone and shock myself with wanting to get married. I just don't see that happening. There is too much personal baggage from my past so I just don't see myself ever being that comfortable with someone. One option is to adopt. I haven't ruled this out but it is very expensive and can be very very hard for single people to adopt. When I was looking at foreign adoption, I saw that a lot of countries have BMI requirements. It really upset me that regardless of whether or not I could afford it, I still may not be able to adopt certain places because I have let myself get to such an absurdly high weight. I really had to take a long hard look at my life and my priorities. If I want all options available to me, I need to be healthier and much lighter. At this time, I am thinking I would like to try to conceive through IUIs. I will not be able to even start the process of insemination until I am at a much lower weight and can healthily carry a baby. I lost my menstrual cycle for quite a while when I was anorexic and then got it back after I gained enough weight. I once again lost it when I hit about 350 lbs. So, I may have screwed up my fertility forever because of my struggles with weight. I pray that I haven't! Being a mom is the most important goal I have in my life and I can't wait to be able to do so. Also, once I have my baby, I need to be smaller and more in shape so that I have enough energy to run after him or her. I also suffer from high bp and sleep apnea because of my weight so I can't wait to be off of the meds and be able to sleep at night without waking up tons of times or waking up with a headache in the morning.

So, that is the main reason I am trying to shed the pounds and get in shape. I can't wait to be a mom! Of course, there are other reasons why I will love being thin again. I can't wait to go shopping in a "regular" store again. My fashion style has been suppressed for a long time since I can only shop at a few stores.. haha! I can't wait to be able to wear the clothes I truly love again!! Also, bathing suit shopping next year will be SO much nicer! One other perk is that I can travel more when I am thinner. I have gotten so big that I am scared that I will have to buy 2 seats if I fly anywhere. As a result, I just don't fly. I have been telling my friend who lives in New York that I will come visit her for over a year now, and I can't wait to actually be able to do so! I can't wait to go to an amusement park again.. or disney world. I haven't gone to one in so long because I am scared that I am too big to ride the rides. I love amusement parks and can't wait to go ride the roller coasters again. It will be nice to not always wonder if people are thinking "wow that girl is fat" when I go anywhere. I am a very social person and can't wait until my weight stops holding me back from enjoying life the way i should!

If you have read this entire thing, thanks for sticking with me!! Please share what things are motivating you. Hearing about all of the wonderful things that weight loss and health bring is amazingly helpful to me!!

Good luck everyone and thanks for the support!!

Hi!
Congrats on beating your eating disorders....I have heard so many stories of people with them that ended in tragedy - glad yours isn't one!

Well, the reasons I'm going to get healthy.... not as cool as yours.
I'm unhappy with myself..."even when I'm in the shower alone, I'm too embarrassed to remove my shirt". I'm absolutely miserable, and all the extra weight aggravates my health issues. It's getting harder to do any physical activity. I can't stand the way I look, or the way I feel, or the fact that I kept gaining sizes. I wear a lot of men's clothes instead of shopping in plus-sized stores, and I'd love to be able to wear some things that are smaller and fashionable. Also, I want to go back to having a life... like you, I haven't been to an amusement park while big, and I may have my first flight in the next year... after what happened with Kevin Smith, I'm paranoid about getting on a plane!! I too, feel like everyone is looking at me, and judging me for what I'm eating or what I'm buying in the store... but that's not the reason I decided that it's the right time.

In the past, I've done it to impress people or because someone else thought that I needed to. No, this time it's only for me. Selfish maybe... but there it is. I want to be healthy... I made myself look this way, and I'm going to fix it. I'm on the right path.... been watching what I eat, I've cut out all McDonald's... and I've lost 14 pounds in 4 weeks. I know I have a long way to go, but I didn't gain it overnight, so I'm going to keep plugging away at it. I'm already feeling the difference, and excited to continue.

Congrats on your loss, that's a LOT gone already! Just please stay healthy, I don't want you to relapse

I overestimate myself... and end up making a fool out of myself.

A couple very recent examples:

1. I thought I could climb a rock climbing wall for a race type competition at camp... well... the race came along...and it turned out I couldn't. We lost the race. I was humiliated beyond belief and felt horrible.

2. I always think that this piece of clothing or that would look good on me... and it doesn't. Not because I don't have the natural body for it... I have a GREAT hourglass figure... it's just the extra couple curves that end up messing me up. So I leave the store with nothing but a bunch of tears and smeared mascara.



I guess... I'm just sick and tired of being the "big" girl. The one who has never accomplished anything because she made herself accomplish it... but just had most things fall into her lap. And... a whole lot of other things.

lolcat: Thanks so much for the support and encouragement. I am definitely going to be careful this time. I refuse to let the eating disordered mind kick in and torture me any longer. It just isn't worth it! I don't want to have to start at square one again. It is about health now. I have messed up my body enough and this will probably make conceiving a lot harder in the future (because I lost my menstrual cycle when I was so skinny and agin now that I am this big)

Thanks so much for sharing all of your motivators! Those are all awesome. I hate that you are feeling that down on yourself right now. When I read " I'm unhappy with myself...'even when I'm in the shower alone, I'm too embarrassed to remove my shirt'", I just wanted to reach through the screen and hug you . That kind of pain just makes me hurt right along with you!

Good luck with all of your goals! You are doing wonderfully so far! Take Care!!

Serbrider: Thanks for sharing your reasons and motivations! Think of how awesome it will be when you are able to walk into the store and buy those items of clothing that you are lusting after because they fit you so well! No more smeared mascara! I hope you have amazing success with your weightloss journey!!

thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. it amazes me how much we all put a part of our lives on "hold" because of the weight! I was thin most of my life but gained a huge amount of weight after my last child was born. I struggled with it the last fourteen years, along with doctors, medicine, etc. I finally decided that I had to do this myself if I wanted to improve my life and health. I also finally found an eating plan that works for my lifestyle and so the weight is finally coming off. I too amdetermined not to give up till I reach my goal and I am so enjoying the path there. I decided that I will never use food as a reward again! instead I am using activities and pleasures that my weight used to keep me from having.
after I lost my first thirty lbs I went bathing suit shopping and it truly was soooooo much better than it has been in years!
so I do want to say, keep on going, you can do it, but remember to enjoy the trip not just the destination!

Yeah, you have some pretty cool incentives there, Southernbelle! Adopting a healthy relationship with food is a great thing and I commend you for it! All-or-nothing mentalities are hard to break!

My motivation is lot like lolcat. I was on the verge of bad things: no longer fitting into movie chairs scared the heck out of me. It was to the point where I knew if I could squeeze my rear past the arm rests, my rear would be able to spread out in the seat. Goodness. My blood pressure was high at every doctor visit and that bothered my endlessly. And I had lost the motivation to live. How sad is that? I developed a blase attitude about death...didn't really care one way or the other and didn't feel like anyone around me would care either.

THAT was my biggest motivator! Let me tell you, I needed to lose this weight. I have tried and tried and tried in the past. I never took it lying down! I think that was part of my problem. I had too many failures under my belt and it made a touch depressed.

I can't tell you how much my life has changed since. And the beautiful thing is, it didn't take long. I always thought weight loss happiness didn't happen until goal. Not true!! I have found new joy with every 10 pounds gone.

Thanks for sharing

For me, it was high blood sugars, being on blood pressure medication and not being able to run in the back yard or bike ride with my kids.....at only 38 years old. I realized I was too young to be in such $*^&# shape and it had to stop. The thought of bike riding with my youngest ds and wearing cute mommy clothes again keeps me going! That and I want to be healthy. I don't want to be on meds for my diabetes - Dr. thinks at a normal weight I won't need the meds for diabetes OR my blood pressure. So, I just keep going.

Thanks for the replies y'all!! It is crazy how many of us are dealing with so many of the same motivations and feelings! I guess that with excess weight comes a certain set of issues that we all inevitably will probably deal with... and have.

I totally agree with enjoying the journey and not just the destination. I am finding little ways to reward myself as I attain new mini goals (all non-food related!)

I am so glad that we all are plugging away at loosing and enjoying ourselves in the meantime

Why? Because I was unhappy and unhealthy.

Happiness and health are really the only important things in life. Yes, love and family too, but you can't enjoy love and family to it's full potential when you are truly unhappy and unhealthy.

SouthernBelle!! You are clearly my sister from another mother--I'm 6'2" and a southerner, too! I think you have some fabulous motivation and many wonderful experiences ahead of you.

My motivation is many-faceted, like so many others here. My husband has recently lost 70+ pounds with weight-loss surgery (he looks fabulous!) and I WILL NOT be his fat, old wife (I'm 5 years older). WILL NOT. I hate the amount of time I spend thinking about being fat and worrying about somehow offending others because of the fat. I hate that I am no longer the athlete I was in high school and college. I'm really mad that I let it get this far gone; what was I thinking?? I look forward to feeling healthy, alive, light, energized, sexy, in shape--so that my body will be able to do what I want to do. I'm really tired of being limited by my physical size and frankly I'm over it.

So far, so good. Welcome to 3FC and I'll look for more of your posts as you get started on this journey!!

Thanks to both of you for your replies!!

Sacha, Yes health ad happiness are so important in life Good luck!

LiliK, we really are so similar!! I am from Baton Rouge but consider Nola my second home We even started on this forum the same month.. haha! I too was an athlete and am sad that I have strayed so far from my physical fitness path! Congrats to your husband and good luck to you!!

I love this thread. I'll go back to read it every time I feel down.

When I was at my highest weight of 197...Well, honestly I may have been a few pounds heavier, but not by much. 197 is just where I was when I seriously got to it. I had been feeling pretty crappy for a while. My hips and feet hurt from minimal activity, and I was looking and feeling, well, I wont lie here, rather like a sick bloated walrus. Oh, in general I was still healthy-ish. I was lucky enough that no serious ailments had hit me yet, but it was coming. So this nasty feeling was enough to get me kinda half heartedly trying to be a bit better about my lifestyle. But it was something else that was THE trigger. Pardon me if this seems a tad gross. I have this charming apron thing. Those of you with them know EXACTLY what I am talking about. So one day, I am lying in bed, and I have an itch in the crease that forms there at the apron. So I went to scratch, and realised that, most likely from friction ( I did warn you), I had developed sort of a blister there. It was rather large, rather red, and ABSOLUTELY horrible. When I scratched, it popped..and okay..that is enough, you get the point. That was pretty much it. I looked at this thing and decided right then and there that this had gone on far enough. I cursed myself up and down for letting myself get to this point, and went to my computer, and immediately began formulating a plan. This was on February 21. It is now August and I am 50 pounds lighter, the apron is shrinking (sure hope it goes away completely, but not counting on it) and I now have only 30 pounds to go. No more blisters.

As for what keeps me going..Aside from not wishing to see any more friction blisters on my body, it would have to be the future I am seriously working on laying out for myself now. At 42, I am going back to school to get a degree in dietetics so I can maybe help others regain control of their lives, as I have done. I have a husband who is ultra supportive ( he always buys ice cream flavors he knows I dont like. ), 3 wonderful children who I have to be around for college graduations, and a size 5 little black dress in my closet. What more could a woman want?

Health Nut, thanks for chiming in! I am so glad that this is able to motivate you! Good luck!!

Tornado Siren, thanks so much for being so honest with your response! I am glad that you have done so awesome with your weight loss!! Your goals are amazing and very inspirational!! Good luck with helping yourself reclaim your own life as well as helping others reclaim their lives!! I applaud you for doing this for not only yourself but also your precious kids! You sound like a great mom!

Brown, you are doing awesome!! Good luck!