I have tried to diet many times for the past 7 years. When I was 20 I was at my highest at 241 pounds. im only 5'3 so it was very noticeable. I remember looking through my closet and trying to find something that would fit me. I went through old 14's and 16's and 18's even my 20's didnt fit. I had to actually go out and buy a size 22/24. I remember going back to my closet and out of anger I took out all the clothes that didnt fit and sat there and cried. I cried so much. After all the crying was done, I got up and joined weight watchers. I lost 40 pounds and was almost on my way to onederland. Then I got cocky and started slipping into my old habits. I thought that I could cheat against my points and still lose weight. I stopped counting points, stopped going to meetings and just all together stopped. I gained 20 pounds back.
The next 5 years I was able to stay around 220 pounds and I wasnt very pleased with my body but every attempt I made to get back on the wagon ended up in failure. I start off great and then somewhere down the line I lose the strength and the motivation.
Last year...I was fed up and decided to work out every day and count points. I was the happiest I have ever been not to mention sore! I wasnt even close to onderland but i was loving my results from counting points and working out 5 days a week. I did that for four months and saw amazing results. And then I met a guy and all the working out dwindled down til it was non-existent. I gained back the rest of the 20 pounds.
So here I am again. at 240 pounds. Everyday I keep saying today is the day that I will start watching myself and what I eat. That I would work out that day. My laziness is definitely getting in my way. I have actually started counting again and did okay. yesterday was my first day counting again and yes I did go over by 8 points, but I see it as better than binging and eating whatever I wanted.
I keep reminding myself that It didnt take 1 day for me to gain all this weight and therefore it isnt going to take me 1 day to lose it.
I keep reminding myself that if I did it once I can do it again and better.
I dont have friends that are the best influences, so im hoping to meet some people who will motivate me here. I actually can say that I have been motivated by reading some of the posts from those who made it to goal. Its amazing how some of you guys look...i wan to be there. i just need to have some more faith in myself.....
i can do it :moo




Dhani