My first mini goal is 200 pounds and a few weeks ago I got down to 201.2 -- sooo close

And since then my brain just went haywire lol. I have been eating fast food and junk that I hadn't touched in months! I don't quite know why I wouldn't be motivated to push through to my goal. The success seems like it gave me permission to "reward myself" and relax, and that is a SLIPPERY slope!!

I am scheduling an appointment with the medical weight loss group I was going to that originally got me started on my loss ( I have lost 25 pounds this spring/summer ) - I need an accountability boost.

I just wonder if any one else has experienced something similar. I wonder if its just a "you earned it" deal, a result of my increase stress at work, or if I have some internal self sabotage issuse at some level!

Yes this has totally happened to me, too. Either I get close to a mini-goal, or just beyond a mini-goal, and then it's like my brain pauses and I just sort of stall, or worse, go the wrong direction. I'm not always sure what causes this, but I do think for me it has something to do with self-sabotage. When that happens this time, I'm just going to try to pick a new mini-goal and get refocused. Easier said than done, but I'm going to try.

You can get back on track and get to onederland. I'm cheering for you!

This happens to me whenever I see a new low number on the scale. Last time it happened the number was 212.6, I hadn't seen that number since 2003. For me it's fear of the unknown, I'm scared of losing the weight I've used as a buffer against society for all of my adult life. So for me it's intentional self sabotage. This is one of the biggest issues I'm working on at the moment.

Good luck and I hope you can push past whatever it is that's holding you back!

Yep. The first time I went from 240 to 200, it took me five years of small changes. Then, something about feeling better and getting compliments made me decide to "take a break" for awhile and "eat like normal." In one year, I gained back all 40 pounds!

In a way, I see that as a blessing now. Now, I know for sure that I can't "eat like normal." The way modern food is marketed and engineered, combined with my own warped inclinations, means that what I think of as normal is not going to put me at a healthy weight living a healthy lifestyle.

The book The End of Overeating by David Kessler really got me to rethink what kind of eater that I can be in the modern food environment. I pretty much just checked out of mainstream eating, including giving up junk food and fast food cold turkey, after reading that book.

This has happened to me several times over the past few years. I get close to my first mini goal myself and then get complaicent. And fall out of the diet mode.

That is EXACTLY what I was going to say.
It's completely all about fear with me, I'm at a weight right now that I don't ever remember being because I got so disouraged with my weight at 14 or 15 I refused to get on a scale.
I don't know what it's like to be 'normal' or 'average' and I'm getting close to that now, not having that safety net of "well I can't do this or couldn't finish that because of my weight" Having that not there and coming to terms with whats really stopping me or holding me back, thats a hugely scary thing.
Now I've come to embrace that fear I have and replace it with courage. I heard/read a quote somewhere that stuck with me about that

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

This is exactly why I've done this weight loss thing three times and never hit goal. Everytime I get down around 180, something happens, be it a craving or a long plateau and it is indeed a very slippery slope. I gained back everything + 20lbs the first time, and I gained 20lbs back the second time before that "Whoa, going in the wrong direction here!" thought kicked in. I've also gotten close to that point this time, and then gained back a few pounds, but I've gotten better about getting back on track sooner.

I think a lot of people experience some bit of self sabotage. But the good part is that you didn't gain too much back, and you're ready to get back on track. That's what counts!

yup.

I'm terrified I won't be me anymore. I've seen this face and body in the mirror for so long, I don't know who's looking back anymore. I don't recognize the healthier me, I only know the one who knows where every grocery store is in the county so I can get cookies when I want them.

I don't know how to live without the weight.

But I can learn.