I was in an abusive relationship 6 years ago and gained about 50 pounds during that time. Afterwards I used my weight as an excuse why was I wasn't asked out on dates, and focused most of my energy on my recovery and making sure my children were on the same path. Last January I decided to get serious about my weight, and have lost 35 pounds but have stalled the last two months. Now I am constantly wondering what will happen when I lose the rest of the weight (I have about 40 pounds to go) and I still don't get asked out or have a boyfriend!! I think I am sabotaging myself with these thoughts of self doubt!! Does anyone else have this problem? I have literally talked myself out of workouts and eaten unhealthy things so I wouldn't have to cross that bridge.
Carrie
Carrie,
First I'd like to say that I'm so happy that you were able to get out of an abusive situation. It takes so much strength to be able to do something like that. Secondly, while I'm do not self sabotage I may have an idea as to why you're not currently involved in a relationship. Now I'm not a relationship expert by any means so if you totally disregard my opinion I have no issue with that.
My personal feelings on getting involved with someone is that it starts with confidence and self-assurance. When you don't have confidence in yourself it shows to other people. Men love confident women. I think instead of dwelling (if that's the proper word here) on not being in a relationship you should really just focus on improving yourself. Once you are in a place where you can love yourself I truly believe that the guys will be beating down your door.
Talking yourself out of workouts and eating poorly is not the way to go to lead a healthy lifestyle. You just have to remember that in exactly 1 year from now July 26th, 2011 is going to happen and you just have to make the decision if by that time you want to be a brand new you or if you still want to be making excuses and not being happy with your situation.
Good luck sweetie, and hopefully my advice can help you just a little bit along your journey. Please keep us updated about your progress.
