OMG! Once again I lost over 50 lbs only to GAIN IT ALL BACK!!! I was doing so good! Feekling great Physically and mentally! Then slowly but but surely all the pounds came back.And I seen them coming too! But, I can't stop. Well, I guess I could. I guess it is a mind set. Why do i do this? Anyone else with this issue? Please help w/suggestions!

I really think one of the reasons so many of us do the diet rollercoaster, is because it's what we see. It's the way weight loss is done, so we follow the pattern we're used to seeing, even when we know it's a destructive pattern. We don't have many role models for doing it better.

I'm not saying it's an unbreakable pattern, you just have to come to terms with the fact that "normal" doesn't work. You've got to know and accept and really grab a hold of the idea that you need to become unusual. You've got to become a rebel, a nonconformist.

What I mean is that we have thoughts that we think are our own idea, but are really just "scripts" we've been taught to go through by rote, things like;

I should be able to eat_________ once in a while

I shouldn't have to weight myself every day/week , I don't want to get obsessed with the scale, that would be bad

I'll start fresh tomorrow (or if it's past the mid-week point, I'll start fresh Monday).

I'll just have one. Mmm, maybe just one more.... Well, I might as well finish it now.....


There are so many unwritten diet rules and patterns we follow, because it's what we've come to expect. And I really believe that one of them is that we can't really "start fresh" unless we gain it all back (and maybe a few extra).

And it's also "normal" to beat yourself up and think you're crazy and stupid for not doing better. That's also part of the normal cycle.

I was in that trap for almost 40 years. Just like I was taught to, I thought I was lazy, crazy, or stupid for making the same mistakes over and over again.

It wasn't until I realized that I wasn't abnormal, I was entirely too normal, and that was my problem. I had to learn to become abnormal (or at least unusual) to beat this thing.

I had to start doing things that differently, even some things that completely went against most of the "dieting advice" I had ever gotten.

"Don't weight every day, you'll get discouraged and frustrated" was one I had to unlearn, because I found that weighing daily helped me (as long as I chose not to become discouraged and frustrated).

It would have been normal to get discouraged and frustrated, so I had to work at being abnormal.



Sometimes it almost reminds me of the Seinfeld episode in which George realizes that every impulse he's ever had has been counterproductive. He decides that he can succeed in life by doing the opposite of whatever his gut reaction tells him to do. And it works. He gets his dream job, he gets lucky with the ladies.....


It can't hurt to try, you know? I'm not saying to do the opposite of what you think is right, I'm just saying that you experiment and find what works for you - and don't worry about whether it "sounds crazy"


Be crazy. Once you brace insanity, it can work for you.

I deal with the same issues, for the last 2 months, June and July, doing my best on eating healthy and exercise. Lost 20 something Lbs, but had binged attack, and gained it easily in one shot. Its a constant struggle ..

Hang in there and if you want a online buddy for moral support, PM me..I come on here each day. and weekends too. Good luck!

TRACY ~ I think most of the people on here have lost weight and gained it back; not just once, but a few times or more -- I know I have. Why? Because like Kaplods says, we kept doing the same thing over and over ... "that DOESN'T work for us" ... that's what?

Now, I am doing things my way or a different way; some of them go against the grain, but they are working for me ... ie I eat more often now, not less often. I eat three meals and three small snacks. I eat more food in larger quantities, that is -- much more veggies and salads than ever before. I found out the tricks of VOLUMETRICS work for me. They help me feel so full. Overall, I probably eat less food becuz we use the trick of smaller plates and bowls instead of dinner plates; they only come out on special occasions like Sundays or when guests come over.

I eat soup a lot now (very, very filling); salad at least once a day and sometimes, for both lunch and dinner. I eat what I love, but in smaller quantities. I now will have a slice of pizza and a salad for lunch or dinner at least once a month. Before (years ago, I must admit) I would foolishly by a whole pizza; now we don't do that unless there are lots of people to eat it up now.

I learned that some foods just have addictive qualities for me, so I don't have them in my home (for now). I also learned that some foods are just not healthy for me (like simple starchy foods, as in sugar and chips, etc). I still make our favorite family meals, but just made them much healthier (so everyone is happy).

I am not starving myself; I make sure to eat enuff to keep my body healthy and happy. Plus I take lots of vitamins and minerals (becuz I need them); and eat healthy fats which also make me healthier. I look for quality, lean foods that taste good -- to me. I spend more $$$ on my food now becuz I am worth it, and my health is worth it.

And, LILIANN, now when I make a mistake, I forgive myself, and just keep on going the next snack or meal or day ... or whatever. I want to be healthy; I want to feel better; I want to succeed; and I believe I can, with patience and perseverance ... and SO CAN YOU!!!

PS ~ some of that (and maybe most) must be water-weight; it is nigh to impossible to gain 20 lbs in one day unless it's water. Watch your salt intake ...

I completely relate to this problem and I am trying to beat it this time by designing an eating plan that is so satisfying that I can stick to it for the long term.

I'm on WW and I am able to have very satisfying meals. Do you have someone who can help you with this? I think that a delicious and satisfying eating plan could help keep you from feeling deprived. WW teaches that we aren't on a diet but are changing our way of eating forever. Even if we binge once in a while, if we can get right back on whatever program we are following, that can make a big difference.


Hang in there - and keep posting whenever you need support.

Thanks Ladies For the support. That is so true kaplods!That is it exactly. there are these "Rules" that we think we must follow,or we have"Blown It".And,yes I have seen that Seinfeld Episode!I think that is true. I have to do the opposite of what i always did.Thanks JUST. Those are good ideas. I just need to not think the same way. 40 years of dieting and still at it!Obviously it is not working.Thanks Lillian!We are in this together!doingmybest, I have been on WW several times. It is a great plan. I lost tons. But, gained them back. Onward and Upward!!Good Luck to us all!

wow that's really good advice thanks for sharing

Been there....done that...got the t-shirt.

I have come to the conclusion that dieting does NOT work. Diet implies that there is an END. There is no end. That is what we (myself included) forget. When considering an eating plan...you need to pick one that you can *honestly* see yourself doing for the rest of your life. Because you will need to do that...or gain the weight back...AGAIN (as I have done countless times!!).

I could not see myself eating low fat/low calorie and being hungry all the time for the next 35 years...because a binge was only a bite off plan away. I have been low carbing and it is a good fit *for me*. It is not for everyone, but I have stayed on plan the majority of the time and whenever I make a choice that doesn't fit into my plan...I get right back on with the next meal. I don't let it go for a day, week, month, year(s) any more. I can't! I need to be healthy. I wish you much success!

Thanks Torister!!

I think everyone struggles with this. I know I do. Lost 120 pounds and gained back 40 --so far -- check out the maintainers forum and you'll see a lot of ways people deal with it.

I think there are many factors that contribute to it.
1. We may be able to change habits, but the tendencies are still there. The fat chick inside me will always want to eat the donut.
2. "Bad foods" are highly available, and often pushed on us by others.
3. Apparently the formerly obese have different levels of hormones like leptin that feed the overeating cycle...

And that's just a few... we have to recognize that we are battling with an enemy that may be stronger than us sometimes and not blame ourselves as crazy or weak when we fail. We need to get up and do it again, figuring out what we can do better this time. But please let's not give up!!

I really think "not giving up" is the only behavior change that I've made that is completely different than all of the other stuff I've done before. I still make crazy mistakes. I still try crazy "schemes" to lose weight (though I do a lot LESS of that than ever before). I still have days that my eating is far, far from perfect.

The only difference is my choosing not to give up, and not to become discouraged. I'm almost as "bad" at weight loss as I've ever been, I've only decided that there is no quitting/starting over. There's just living, and trying to live better (not just with weight loss, but in other areas of my life too).

I never would have considered what I'm doing now as "success," so in a real sense I've "failed" off 85 lbs. In some ways, I've lost 85 lbs without trying at all. Oh, I've put a lot of effort into changing my behaviors, but I succeed when I see those efforts as useful in their own right (not just a means to weight loss).

I exercise more when I think of it as looking for fun ways to move, then when I look at something horrible I have to endure to lose weight.

I eat healhier, when I think of it as a challenge to find healthy, amazing food that I love, rather than as something horrible I have to endure to lose weight.

When I look at eating healthy and finding fun ways to move as ways I pamper myself, I have more success than when I focus on the weight loss. I love swimming, but it becomes a chore when I don't consider the fun, and only consider the weight loss potential.

It's a balance I find difficult to keep. When I make weight loss too important, I actually find it harder to accomplish.