So I realized today that most of my goals probably aren't going to happen on time. I've lost a little, but not what I thought I would. I've lost 27 pounds in 17 weeks, which means I'm losing an average of 1.6/week (which obviously isn't great for someone my size). I do acknowledge that I could be doing better—I don't stay on plan as often as I could, and I don't exercise. I think

No longer morbidly obese by October 31, 2010 (235 pounds), which would require me to lose 2.7 pounds per week until then, meaning 1110 calories per day until then.

No longer obese by April 29, 2011 (179 pounds) which would require me to lose 2.3 pounds per week until then, averaging 1310 calories per day.

These three are possible if I faithfully stick to my current plan:

Cousin's wedding, May 27 2011 (size 16 dress, about 190 pounds?) which would require me to lose 1.9 pounds per week] until then.

Normal weight by November 23, 2011 (149 pounds) which would require me to lose 1.8 pounds per week until then.

Size 10 by Christmas 2011 (about 145 pounds) which would require me to lose 1.7 pounds per week until then.

So basically I'm trying to decide if I should stay on my current plan (with a little extra effort) and just let those first two go OR if I should redesign my plan to try to speed it up a little.

Paradise on top of the extra stress from life you are having, i think having seemingly unrealistic goals is goint to be killer, i think having a goal that seems doable is important so you don't get burnt out completely.

also, you mentioned you were stress eating. That is when you really need to some kickboxing or something. you will benefit from the same hormones but it will have a positive effect on your body.

Paradise, I know it's important to have goals, but your goals almost seem like rules. Losing weight is not easy and it's not the same for every individual. If I were you I would focus more on living rather than losing. I'm not saying throw your plan to the curb, but embrace what your doing, add a little exercise and have fun with it! You are losing weight; slowly and surely is much more healthy. Keep up the good work!

You put up a lot of numbers there!

You mentioned your current plan which you weren't sticking to faithfully - I wonder how many calories your plan calls for. But something tells me it's more than 1100 or 1300. If you're having difficulty sticking to a higher number, how do you suppose you will stick with a lower number??? If you don't stick with that lower number, those dates will come and go without you reaching those marks.

Not knowing what your calorie level is with your current plan, it's hard to say. But I believe you should work on staying on THAT plan - faithfully. I think people make this process much harder by veering off *so easily*. Never mind the added length of the process due to the extra calories - but it takes much longer for the behaviors and the good habits to take hold and form. The sooner those behaviors and good habits take hold - the easier this process is. The easier it is to stay on plan. Those habits become automatic, second nature.

So I say, stop focusing on those numbers and dates and focus instead on NAILING DOWN YOUR PLAN. Focus on finding coping techniques, strategies and tricks for all situations - stress, socializing, boredom, anger, relief, happiness, etc. Focus on finding delicious, yet HEALTHY lower calorie foods to eat. Focus on planning ahead and making menus. Focus on learning how to tell yourself no and remembering of your long term satisfaction instead of your immediate pleasure. Focus on adding activity, movement and exercise into your life. Focus on customizing your plan - making it your own. Focus on these good, healthy habits - and that scale WILL go down. The habits are something you can control - the time frame is something you can't.

Keep up the good work. I look forward to hearing of your progress.

I'm losing about 1.7 per week, and I've been doing this since the beginning of the year. The thing to me is that each time I lose weight, it's making it a little better, a little healthier. Honestly, I am not where I wanted to be at this point, and I'm just putting that out there. But I am thrilled with where I am - I'm wearing smaller clothes, I have more energy, and overall I just feel better.

I know the basic mathematical equations are there, and yes, in general, it's calories in vs. calories out. But any dietician or nutritionist will tell you it's not always that easy. Our bodies are very complex, so much so that if you eat too little, it can backfire and you can gain.

In answer to your question, I think you should let the first two go, but honestly, I think you should also seriously consider letting all of the specified goals go, and concentrate right now on each day, week, and month, staying on your plan, making good choices that will teach you how to eat better and live better for a lifetime, and less on the end goal. Hope that doesn't sound too harsh, but I had to do this for myself a few weeks ago, and it has really helped my attitude, and magically, I started dropping more pounds again.

To follow up on Robin's excellent post: once you have six or more weeks of being perfectly on plan, once you have your habits and behaviors and methods and strategies in place, then you can start tweaking your deficit a little--increasing your exercise (which is what I would recommend) or cutting your calories. But worry about that after you have the plan down. It's much easier to make a plan more restrictive once you are in control of it.

Your post sounds like you are counting on your body to consistently lose weight if you follow a perfect eating and exercise plan ... that you can expect to be X weight by X date if you eat X amount of calories. I used to do this (for years) and I wish it was true, but it isn't.
Our bodies are complex and just don't run by all the rules we like to make for them. At times your body will delight you with a loss and at times you will be extremely frustrated by not seeing a loss.
These weddings and events will come and go but your body is with you forever. Take the time and follow the good advice rockinrobin has given you. You will be a much happier person if you give up getting ahead of your body!

I believe in goals 100% but I see you setting yourself up for disappointment by playing with the numbers like that, I do the same thing and I am going to stop.

Keep on track for what you are doing and give yourself a break if things or the weight does not do what you want it to do. The main thing is that you are on the right track and keep focused on that

I second this post It would be awesome if we could count on our bodies to drop weight consistently on schedule every week but sometimes we hit plateaus or things just don't move like we think they should. Having a goal can be a great motivator but for ME, if I make my goal time related with a deadline, I almost certainty set myself up for failure. I start to get obsessed with the scale and feel discouraged with my progress because it isn't happening on MY schedule instead of embracing the progress I have made.

I would agree that you should find a plan that works and stick with it for a month. Perhaps you can make a goal to save money for each pound loss and put it towards something nice to wear (in a smaller size ) for one of the events you mentioned. Try to celebrate any progress you make and don't get too wrapped up in time lines. If you feel you must set a date for your weight loss, at least go into it with the realization that even if you don't achieve your goal, every pound you did lose is a victory and it doesn't mean you are a failure by any means. I wish you the best

Another second for this post. I LOVE your goals, minus the deadlines.

I used to think this way too. Sometimes I might eat 1000 calories in a day and gain a pound and sometimes I might splurge on pizza or ice cream, and I'll drop a pound. What I do rarely reflects on the scale but it always reflects well on my body. I lose inches while the scale stays steady. The scale sometimes makes no sense and it has taken me a long time and many failed attempts to finally come to peace with that.

I had a hard time understanding that just because it's said that we can safely lose 1-2 pounds a week doesn't mean we actually can. Some people steadily lose 1-2 pounds. Others lose 1-2 pounds per month. These people can even be on the same plan!! But even 1-2 pounds per month adds up. Let's say you lose 2 pounds per month for a year. You'll be 24 pounds lighter a year from now. How can that be bad?

I say grab the goals...ditch the deadlines. Celebrate each of the victories as they happen.

*Sigh* The deadlines probably are a bad idea. It just seems like the only real motivator for me, to think "If I don't eat this/eat this many calories, I will be _______ by ________." This is the first time I've ever gone on a diet and actually lost weight somewhat consistently. I've started "diets" every 6 months or so for the last several years, but I've never lost more than like 5 pounds. I think the only reason I'm actually doing it this time is because I know there's no way I can possibly show my face at that wedding and be twice the size of all the other bridesmaids.

So I think I'm going to keep the goals listed in my signature now (revised), and hopefully if I don't exactly meet them I'll still feel good about everything. Once I've lost that much hopefully the number won't be as important.

I have no doubt! I have 40 pounds still to go, and honestly I'm pretty darn content with myself right now. More than content...I'm over the moon! Life has returned to what can only be described as "normal" and "normal" is a very good place to be. You'll find as you go that the rewards start coming fast and furious far before you're even close to goal. That's some pretty good motivation right there.

Why not have more controlable goals? You can't really decide what your body is going to do... but what you can decide is "By ____ I want to be able to run for ____ minutes" or "I want to be able to do ___ push ups by ___" Physical goals are more in your control, and they assist your weight loss.

I used to have weight goals where I wanted to lose so much by such a date.... and I never made them. Even when I thought they were so realistic, I never ever hit one of my goals. And it made me feel unhappy because even thought I lost weight, it was never ENOUGH. Heck, even a couple weeks ago I was telling myself by mid August, I want to be down to 135--or maybe 130... but now I don't even know if I'll make it to 140, and I'm a bit disappointed with that when I should be excited that I'm losing anything at all...

For me, the goal is less important than the plan to get there. If you are having trouble staying perfectly on plan, that is what you need to focus on--either changing your strategies or by changing the plan. It is generally NOT a good idea to just "decide to be tougher" because people are bad at that.

I'm a librarian so here's a book suggestion: The Beck Diet Solution by Judith Beck. She uses Cognitive Behavioral Techniques to help you stick to your plan, whatever it is (there's no diet in this book). It's helped me a lot!

If you read, and like, it, there's an active support group for people using Beck in their weight loss journey on 3FC. Check us out in the Diets section.