I am in relapse with my binge eating disorder. And it is getting worse. I dug food out of the trash last night. And then smokes a bunch of cigarettes (I quit in February). I've hit bottom and I need to take action.

I have given myself a challenge. For the 9 remaining days in June, I am going to take action to get back into recovery. I created this thread to hold myself accountable and to share with other 3FC people who struggle with similar issues.

Feel free to join in the thread in any way you'd like.

Here are the things I will be tracking each day:

1) Plan of eating - Am I eating on plan? Overeating? Restricting?

2) Exercise - Am I doing daily exercise? How was it?

3) Smoking - Did I smoke?

4) Self-care & Emotional health - How did I take care of myself and my feelings today?

5) Seeking help - I want to get help for my BED. I want to investigate options for support groups.

Every morning for the next 9 days, I will post an update and how I did for the day. I'll keep it brief. Feel free to start your own challenge if you'd like. If I discover an amazing tool for BED, I'll share it with you.

I'm not going to weigh myself until July 1st. Today, I weighed 138, but I'm not going to worry about it. I'll readjust my ticker and make it honest on the 1st.

Wish me luck and have a wonderful day.

This is a great idea, and I really might consider doing the same for my ED. Sending good, positive vibes your way, and I look forward to seeing your progress. You can do this! I am not a therapist or anything, but feel free to PM me if you need to talk.

Thanks, bama girl. I will take you up on that and pm you later.

Ok, here's my first update.

Day 1: June 22

Yesterday was a better day, but not quite on track. I'm going to give myself grades, like I'm in school.

Eating- B - I didn't binge, woo hoo. I would say my eating was mostly on plan, except I ate my dinner a 1 am (was too busy to eat). And then I snacked on sunflower seeds. Not a lot of calories (maybe 150), but snacking isn't part of my plan. It was mindless eating.

Exercise- C+ - I biked to work & went for a vigorous walk at lunch. But I skipped my run, which wasn't cool. I had my running clothes on & I talked myself out of it.

Smoking - D - I smoked about 5 cigarettes last night. (Quitting smoking is so hard)

Self-care, emotional health - D - I didn't take any time for myself to relax and reflect. Didn't get much housekeeping done either.

Seeking help - B+ - I logged onto something fishy & looked for support groups. I couldn't find any in Philadelphia. I could go to my old program in the burbs, but it's a long commute. I'm going to keep looking. Philly is a big city. There has to be something.

Overall for day: C : I didn't do a terribly yesterday, but it's not automatic that I would immediately get back into healthy habits.

It's another day and a chance to improve on things.

Day 2: Wednesday, June 23

Eating: A+

I can't believe it, but I was POP yesterday. Ate my healthy meals and ate out for dinner, which was a wonderful salad with chicken, greens, walnuts, and dried fruit. When I got home, I felt like I should nibble on something, but I didn't. Great day eating.

Exercise: C+

I did the minimum of exercise, which was walking 3 miles home from work. It was fine, but I could have rode my bike yesterday and I didn't.

Smoking: F

I bought a pack and smoked most of it. I'm back to smoking and need to quit again.

Self-care/emotional health: B

After work, I was pretty depressed, but I went to improv class and felt great afterward. I had a good conversation with my classmates over dinner after class.

Overall for day: C - I did good in every area except smoking. It's hard to say I'm being healthy when I'm smoking. Need to quit smoking again. Hope to be smoke free by the time the challenge ends.

Day 3: Thursday, June 24th...

Looks like I'm back on plan, sort of...

Eating: A - I ate sensibly all day & even ate out for dinner and didn't overindulge.

Exercise: D - I rode my bike to work, but that doesn't count as exercise, since it's flat and only takes 20 minutes. Didn't even try to run. The smoking is a problem b/c I don't exercise when I smoke.

Smoking: F - I am smoking again, but I want to quit. I just have to do it.

Self-care: D - I have such a problem with spending quality time with myself. I pretty much rush around or zone out. I'm rarely present and in the moment. This contributes to the binges so much. I don't know what I'm afraid of.

Overall for day: C - Even though I'm doing a lot of things wrong, I'm pleased that I haven't binged in 3 days. That's a good feeling.

chickie - i LOVE this thread! I would like to join you! I am earning day 3 without binging and would like to post along side you if that is okay??

I will post tomorrow am about how i DID earn my day 3 today see you in the morning!!!

Absolutely, join in... But I'm only doing this thread until July 1

Ok, it's Saturday night and I haven't checked in for Friday. So I'll do both Friday and Saturday...

Friday, June 25th

On Friday, I had my usual salad & ate out for dinner. I picked high protein, low carb choices and it was quite good. I wanted to binge later, but ended up getting a low cal dessert so I was great.

I'm still smoking and as a result not really exercising. I did walk home from that day.

Saturday, June 26th

I ate out the whole day, but managed to eat moderately. I had a homemade cupcake with lunch, which was fine. It didn't trigger a binge.

As for exercise, I rode my bike around the city to get around, but I am not running.

I know I have to quit smoking. I will in the next day or two.

I have not binged in 5 whole days. Woo hoo.

I am earning day 4

eating B:
i was over calories but didnt binge yesterday or today despite being at two birthday parties.

exercise: a+ i have been allowed back to training again with my ankle starting to get better. i am feeling very strong today!

self-care: a i took the time to really enjoy my shower and took the afternoon to just sit and chat with my friend instead of doing tons of errands. it is not something i've done very often, just putting everything aside to enjoy my quiet time

overall for day: b+

Good work ladies!

Thanks JennyGirl for the good word. And way to go happytobeamomof2

I have been doing great with the eating. I haven't had a binge in 6 days, which is almost a world record for me.

Eating - A+

On Sunday, I ate my usual, healthy lunch of tuna and salad. My dinner wasn't particularly balanced though- apple, pretzels, and sunflower seeds. I allowed myself to eat extra food in the evening, which is important for me to do. I tend to restrict my calories, which is the flip side of a binge. I split a spring roll, potato salad, and tomatoes with a date.

Exercise - C-

I rode my bike around to get to places, but I rode for maybe 3 miles total. Not exactly a workout. It was so hot that I used that as an excuse to not exercise.

Smoking - F

Still smoking. Still talking of quitting. We'll see.

Self-care - B - I cleaned my apartment and paid my bills, which is important to my sense of balance. I spent a lot of time with friends all weekend, which is good for me. But I didn't get quality alone time with myself.

Hope I don't binge today. If I don't, I'll have an entire week binge free

i am earning day 6 and it looks like it will happen

food: A (so far!) ... right on plan with just a bite of my sons cereal bar being off plan

exercise: A+ really worked hard with my trainer today - gotta love that sweat!

self-care: A I am getting to know this guy and often I would put that type of situation before other things I need to do but I am learning to put myself first!

overall: A for today!!!

lets both make it to a full week!!!

Looks like happytobeamomof2 and I are both doing well. It's amazing what accountability will do.

I have good news to report. I have 7 days without a binge & today is my quit smoking (again day). I haven't had a cigarette and I'm back on the nicotine gum.

Yesterday (Monday), my eating was fine. I had my usual salad with tuna for lunch. I did go to grab a slice of pizza for dinner, which is a major trigger. They had a cheeseless pizza with mushrooms so I had one slice of that.

At the end of my night, I was walking past the crackhouse...umm, I mean convenience store. I used to load up with junk there and binge on it at home. I gave myself permission to buy the lowest calorie sugar thing they had. I found a power bar (really it's a candy bar) for 130 calories and brought it home...

And then I didn't eat it. Yay!

I did only a little exercise. I walked home from work (3 miles).

I grade my day B (demerits for smoking).

Have a good day everybody!

wooo hooo 7 days for both of us!!! we ROCK!!!

yesterday was nearly a binge post dinner because i was truly hungry so i did have a snack (which was OP) and then added a bit more to the snack. i managed to stop because i made myself realise that i wasnt 'that' hungry and i had a big glass of water... an hour later i was satisfied and not overstuffed! (so my total day was OP!)

exercise: A - worked really hard on the stationary bike and followed my youngest around an indoor play structure for an hour after dinner despite a bad ankle!

food: A+ - i was OP and satisfied/not hungry at bedtime so I am really happy about that.... day 7 has been hard for me in the past month so I am happy to have it behind me

self-care: A - I really made a point of relaxing after boys went to bed and enjoyed time with a friend and made sure i was in bed at a reasonable hour and enjoyed a cool evening with the blankets up to my chin (which i LOVE)...

overall: A!!!

Thanks for this thread!!!! it has really helped me and I am so glad we could share it together...

YOU DID IT!!!

hugs

Update for Tuesday, June 29th

Yesterday, I quit smoking and went 24 hours without a cigarette. I have quit many times, so I knew what to do. I used nicotine gum and got through the day. I was depressed and angry for a lot of the day, but I didn't smoke.

I went for a 3.5 run for the first time in over a week. The weather was great and I felt good. The run stirred up some feelings of grief so I ended up crying at the end of the run. Which I consider a good thing.

My eating wasn't great yesterday and I ended up finding low calorie whipped cream, which gave me an excuse to binge on it. Even though I was well within my calories yesterday, I wouldn't call that a good eating day.

Overall, I am giving myself an A- because I took good care of myself.