First, let me give a little insight about myself;
Through quite a few generations, my family has had a history of obesity, the health risks that come with that like diabetes, and thyroid problems. My family also has had quite a history of laziness and procrastination, unfortunately.
I've always been a little bit chubby, though was an active child and kept it minimal. But as I got older and that characteristic laziness set in, well, probably not hard to guess what happened. At some point, my weight stabilized at around 260, give or take some, for a couple years. But in the past year or two, that shot up to now about 330.
Many times in the past I have tried to lose weight and struggled with it. I would starts up, motivated and ready to get my act together, and I would do so for a week or two, until there was some sort of slip-up. Then it went right back down hill. I would put a pause on the plans to lose weight for however long, start them up, only to repeat the process.
I'm a girl who eats for everything really. Boredom, when I'm happy, mad, our just while I'm relaxing watching tv. I'm sure some of you know where I'm coming from.
My mother, like anyone else in my family, was overweight. And she too struggled with losing it. At her heaviest weight, she weighed at least 400 lbs. And after so long of struggling with losing that weight and failing, she finally decided to take gastric bypass surgery. Now, were she to show you a picture of her in the past, you wouldn't believe your eyes. She's one of the only ones in the family to lose any weight, even if it wasn't naturally.
Recently, in the past month was my latest attempt to try to get in shape, but like all other times in the past, I slipped up somewhere. I lost a good few pounds and then ended up gaining them right back again. Somehow I keep falling back into the same old couch-potato habits I've had for the past couple years, which only got worse as high school ended. I've dug a hole so deep, I don't know if I even have the ability to climb back out.
My mother noticed this as well recently. And a couple days ago, she asked me if I would ever consider having gastric bypass like she did. I didn't really know what to tell her at that point so the conversation ended with a shrug and I haven't brought it up with her since.
I thought about it a little bit afterward, read a little on it, though I still don't know. If I had my way, I'd rather not have part of my stomach and intestines clipped away or any holes cut into my body. I'd rather have an alternative of some sort before resorting to that.

So now it's down to my question; what strategies have all of you used that have successfully allowed you to lose weight? I'm the type where, if I don't see any results in the first couple weeks, I start losing faith, which inevitably leads to those slip-ups. Eating smaller portions and trying to be healthy and do some form of exercise hasn't quite worked for me in the past. Either I've had no results at all, or they were too small to edge me to keep going. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or maybe if there's something physically wrong that makes it harder for me and my family to lose weight than others. I've gone weeks sometimes, changing everything, only to see a single pound shed, if that. And I'm sick and tired of slipping up all the time and sick of my weight controlling my life. I need something to help me along, though I don't know what. I know there's different diet plans out there, pills, things, but what's what?

Opinions? Feedback? Help?

EDIT: Also, for other people that have gone through the same process as my mother, what are your opinions and accounts about it? What risks are there and how do you find yourself faring? Do you love it or hate it? Did you try things before resulting to surgery, etc.

Different diets work for different people. You have to figure out what is right for your personality and your body. That can take time, unfortunately. What I would suggest is do some research and find some options to try. Give a plan a month or so, and if you just can't do it, or aren't losing weight, try something else. Don't get discouraged and give up. Just tell yourself it's not the option for you.

There IS hope and you CAN do it!

What works for me is healthy eating and exercise, like it or not to have success you have to exercise. The secret to this I think it consistancy, you have to keep going and keep moving forward. Don't let a setback throw you off, move every day, realize you have to work on the inside as much as the outside, and enjoy yourself and HAVE FUN!!!! We forget that alot I think because we have so many self esteem issues stemming from our weight.
Remember what makes you beautiful is who you are not how much you weigh.

I've considered gastric bypass. To some degree I'm still considering it. I have several risk factors that would increase my chances of complications, so at the moment I don't consider it an option.

And on the other hand, it's taken me four years to get off 80 lbs. There are a lot of reasons for the slow weight loss. In the first year, the first 20 lbs "feel off" without my trying to lose weight (I was prescribed a CPAP machine for sleep apnea, and the doctors told me I could lose some weight without trying - I thought they were nuts, but maybe not. Then again, quitting my job also had a role - I no longer sat within 30 feet of a vending machine).

The second year, I tried to lose weight (the same way I always have), without much luck. Only in the last two years have I lost weight steadily (even if very, very slowly).

For me to lose weight and be able to keep it off, I have to follow a fairly low carb diet (one of the reasons I have struggled with losing more quickly is that I can't seem to accept how low I really have to keep the carbs without risking overeating triggers).

I've struggled most of my life to lose weight (since I was 5 years old, and I"m 44 now). I've never gone this long before (4 years) on a losing trend. I've only barely gone that long on a no-gaining trend (at my highest weight during a period I refused to diet). Almost all of my life I was either losing weight fairly rapidly or more likely regaining weight fairly rapidly.

My normal diet pattern was to give up when I became discouraged at the weight not coming off fast enough (and almost no speed was fast enough to prevent the frustration).

This time I did decide to diet "backwards." Instead of weight loss being my goal - healthy behaviors were. I chose behaviors I was willing to commit to even if I never lost a single pound from them (and at first I didn't lose much if any weight).

I also decided that even if I couldn't lose weight, I could maintain the weight loss I had acheived. Every ounce lost mattered, so there was never a reason to go back to old habits. "What's the use," "if I can't get to goal, what does it matter...." I had to put a stop to that kind of thinking. Every day I told myself "every ounce matters, every ounce is an achievement worth celebrating."

It could take me a decade to get the rest of the weight off. I might never get it all off, but I don't let that be a reason to stop taking care of myself. I also used to use dieting as a way to punish myself for being fat (no wonder I didn't stick with that very long, who wants to be miserable all of the time, even if you do suspect you "deserve" it?)

I always envied the wealthy people who could afford to go to luxurious weight loss spas, so I decided to create my own spa. I looked at weight loss and exercise as ways to pamper the wonderful person I am (no more punishment). I splurge on fruits and vegetables I've never tried before (seeing it as an adventure).

It's still a struggle. I wish I didn't struggle with commitment and work effort, but the only failure really is giving up. The only set-in-stone rules I've given myself are:

No giving up.

No Guilt or self-bashing.

Calixte, I know pretty much everyone in this area of the boards knows what you are going through. We have all dug ourselves into that hole you're talking about, and I'm sure most of us have had both successes and those failures in our attempt to get rid of the weight.

I think what finally makes it click is totally different for everyone. For me (and I'm nowhere near even my first goal), I think it's health issues that are arising now that I'm almost 40. For others, it's a picture they see of themselves, feeling too out of shape to do something they love, the list goes on and on. Maybe you could do some soul-searching about what it is that you want from a weight loss, then keep your eye on the prize.

I think making a very specific plan helps a LOT and daily exercise (even something really, really small to start). Try writing your exercise time down in your plan book - schedule it like an appointment. Even if you start with something like 10 minutes, you have a commitment to yourself that you're going to do it. Then when you get used to scheduling it, give yourself a little more time, etc. I think it's possible to lose weight without exercise, but when you are doing it, you start to feel like, hey, I'm a 'fitness person'. Sometimes that helps to get the eating in line, too.

I have thought about weight loss surgery in the past, but I'm giving myself one more good try. I definitely wouldn't be opposed to the idea. But the thing is, it's not a magical cure, just a tool to help you along. You really still need to get your head on straight, and still need to TOTALLY commit to a new lifestyle. So you really have to ask yourself if you are ready for that commitment before you embark on that journey IMHO.

Best of luck to you, darlin'. I'm sorry this is so long, but hope it helps some! Above all else, you must love yourself and want to do this for yourself, because you are worth it and you deserve to live the life you want!!!!

I don't know much about gastric bypass, but if your eating habits stay the same (eating too much for all the wrong reasons), surgery won't do any good. One of the people last season on Biggest Loser had bypass surgery, and then went on to start the show at over 400 pounds.

Also, you have to figure out what works for Your body....it sucks a little but it's true. I have quite a lot of muscle. As long as I muscle train (this means bicycling and stair stepping even) more than once a week, I don't lose. Instead, I see about a 2 pound loss (if eating right) a week by jogging 1 mile every other day.

I've also heard a lot of the links between people eating carbs and not being able to lose the weight. Maybe that's something to look into. Also, seeing it as something separate from losing weight may help. I started this currently journey a year and a half ago. I knew I wanted it to be permanent. So I started making only changes I'd be happy with permanently. I lost 25 pounds, then stay within the same 5 pounds for a year. It's only been in the last few months that enough internal changes happened that I feel okay losing again, and so I've gone down another 5 pounds.

Perhaps you should ask yourself why you want to lose weight? What do you think will change when you're thinner? Many people think it will solve a lot of problems, but usually unless you talking about getting up flights of stairs easier that isn't necessarily the case. Because, attitude wise, whatever you can pursue at 180 pounds you can pursue at 350 pounds. Instead of going for weight loss, ask yourself what you want your life to look like. Do you want to swim more? get a different job? Become vegetarian? Get a date? Write a book? All of these things can start Today. Sure, not the whole marathon. It took me 2 weeks of running 1 lap and then walking three before I even attempted going a half mile. But that step I took, That Day, helped me feel like the running was possible. It's not about what size you'll be in a year, it's about how you want to treat yourself Right Now, Today.

I hope it's okay if I butt in here and join the conversation even though I'm not over 300. I wanted to say that my heart goes out to you, and I think evryone here can understand how you feel and how hard it is to break ood habits, how hard it is to keep going when it seems like there's no hope because the end goal is so far away. That having been said, it IS possible for nearly 100% of people to lose weight without surgery. Diet pills are designed for one purpose: to make the companies who sell them rich. Nobody wants to hear it, but no matter how you look at it, you have to move more and et less in order to lose weight. There are lots of ways to do that at any size.

I would recommend starting small, setting activity and eating goals for yourself that you can achieve. Success breeds success. And even if you lost 200 lbs tomorrow, you would still need to find a healthy lifestyle that you can live with forever in order to stay thnner. By starting small, I mean making simple changes, on at a time until you are comfortable with them before you move on and have huge expectations.

Try keeping a food journal for a week. Write down everything you eat and I do mean EVERYTHING. That will give you a tool to see where you can make improvements. The next week, keep doing the food journal, and in addition, cut out some kind of food that isnt very healthy. something like potato chips or chocolate or cookies...something that is lots of calories for little nutrition. If you are making a small change, it shouldn't be too hard to do. Anybody can give up potato chips for a week. Even *I* can give up cookies for just a week.

You may need a little longer on your goal. maybe you need to give up those chips for 2 weeks before you are ready to give up something else. After a week or two, give up soda along with the chips you gave up before. Keep writing down what you eat. If you are comfortable doing so, begin to substitute healthy, nutritious foods instead of the junk. For example, if you are having a sandwich for lunch, add an apple or some veg sticks sprayed with a couple of pumps of the spray salad dressing stuff instead of the chips. If you want a hamburger, have one made from ground turkey breast instead. Cheese? Use a reduced fat cheese, which still has good flavor, but fewer calories. And so on.

Also, start moving. Walk around the block every day for a week. When that is comfortable, walk around 2 blocks. Park further away at the store. Walk around the mall sipping on a diet soda or better still some water. Do it for a week, every day. Just a little bit, but very consistently until it becaomes a new habit. That's what sitting on the sofa eating chips and sucking up the soda (or whatever your vice is---mine is cookies and milk 9r ice cream) is...a habit.

The goal is to make small changes that you can be comfortable with. For now, don't think about where you want to be. It can be too overwhelming. Instead, get those small weekly goals set up and do them. write down everything you eat. Stop eating chips (or soda or cake or whatever). Walk around the block. Can you do just those 3 things for a week? Of course you can! Can you do it for 2 weeks? Definitely.

And look...YOU WON! You met your goal!

Then set a new goal a little higher. Give up a second food too, and walk 2 blocks.

Ignore the scales. You need a new lifestyle, not another fad diet. I know you can do this!

After a couple of months, or even 6 months, if you do the things I say, consistently and painlessly (it is painless when you take small steps) I am willing to bet you can weig yourself and it will be magical how much you've lost....WITHOUT DIETING! You will be more active and eating well. You will be thinner for sure and you will be feeling better physically and emotionally. And you don't have to do very much to get that way ;-0 At least not all at once.

If I can do it anyone can do it. And I am doing it just the way I described. I have lost 43 lbs. since February 20. I could hardly walk around the block the first day. Now I am out hiking in the mountains, cycling all over town and fit in smaller pants. It hasn't been easy, but it hasn't been nearly as difficult as I expected. Looking forward, my next 50 seems like I'll never get there, but looking backwards, I can't believe I already lost 43. And I still eat well, have my Friday Frosty and have a greeat time while I am doing active things. I am starting to feel like a whole different person, and I am nearl positive that I can stay thinner once i reach my goal because I have found a way that works for me and doesn't maek me feel deprived except once in a while, and once in a while I *do* have to eat a cookie or 3. But not day after day and not a whole batch of cookies. And mostly, ecause it is harder to exercise than eat, I don't want to "spoil" my healthy eating with junk food because it just isn't worth it to me to try and figure out how to exercise off 450 calories worth of cookies. it's easier to just not eat them most of the time. sometimes I plan for less than nutritious food, but I really try hard to keep it as a planned thing, not just a slip and I'll keep eating thing.

Sorry this is do dreadfully long, but I wanted so much to encourage you and let you know it is possible! And thwe folks here at 3FC are all at least in the same ocean if not on hte same boat, and a greeat source of support and help when you need ideas.

Barb

Hi Cal,

I think it's good you are researching your options. I'm one of the ones that had surgery, but it's not a stomach bypass, but called a duodenal switch. I still have most of my stomach with pyloric valve and my duodenum was by-passed (part that absorbs most fats). WLS is a tool and anyone can circumvent it. With that said, WLS is a committment that takes a certain mindset. With the DS, vitamins are not optional. A person can get very sick not taking fat soluble vitamins (vits ADEK). Even the RnY people need B12 and iron at the very least depending on how the intestine was rearranged (median, proximal, etc). With WLS, a person needs to be their own advocate and monitor lab vitamin values at a minimum of yearly as well as follow the type of food types that work best with the surgery. RnY people have no pyloric valve and high carb things can cause "dumping" - unpleasant sensation of sugar going into the small intestine too fast. DS people need protein first and foremost because of the way we malabsorb protein (only absorb 50%). Just to let you know, the DS food plan is basically an Atkins/South Beach plan with no limits on fats. I believe the RnY diet is similar, but with restriction on fats. There are consequences to eating high carb with both surgeries (DS and RnY) - one is foul-smelling gas! Stuff that would peel several layers of paint off the walls hehe. Any bathroom or gas problems are resolved by eating low carb - high protein.

With the prior caveats, I would do surgery again. My recovery was smooth and I was complication-free.

I hope this information helps! You can also go to DSfacts.com and to the forums ObesityHelp.com. There are differentt surgical forums and frequently, many heated discussions on which is best. LOL

Hugs,
Ratkity

Great advice, and I'd add that you may need to work on re-adjusting your expectations so that you don't get discouraged if the weight comes off slowly. I'm not a fast loser and sure, sometimes it's a bit depressing when I see someone losing close to double what I've lost in the same amount of time. But on the other hand, I'm still here, still working on it, still picking myself back up and getting back on track if I do mess up. Really, what difference does it make if you lose 100 lbs in 1 year or 25 lbs a year over 4 years. Four years from now, you'll still be 100 lbs lighter!! And what's the alternative - not even trying and maybe being another 100 lbs heavier in 4 year?

Just work on changing your life, and let the scale take care of itself. I PROMISE you that it will pay off in the end.

PS - I'm also in CO and your cute little umbrella avatar is sadly appropriate for this coming weekend! lol!

It's different for everyone, but I think that you need to find that one thing that you absolutely without a doubt want so bad that your weight could keep you from having or doing and use that to push you through the slip-ups so that you can say, "today is a new day and I'm going to get back on plan". Until you find a way to do that it won't matter which weight loss plan you choose.

I actually disagree with this. I believed it most of my life, and discovered only "this time" that it isn't always as important as is so often thought. I'm surely surprising myself.

Throughout my life, I've wanted weight loss far, far, far more than I do now. I was willing to commit to much more drastic changes, for much longer periods of time. I was willing to endure much more pain, discomfort, and inconvenience. I have much less willpower than I've ever had before.

One of the reasons it's taken me so long to lose weight, is because of my lack of the drive I had when I was younger. It's slowed down my weight loss, but hasn't stopped it. I've succeeded despite the lack of drive, because more often than not, I've followed a food plan that controls hunger so well, I almost feel like I can lose weight so long as I barely put in any effort at all. In a very real sense, I'm proving myself wrong (in thinking that I need intense desire or force of will to change).

I think in some ways, I wanted it too bad when I was younger. Weight loss was sometimes the only thing I wanted. With all my eggs in one basket, andy failure felt like crushing defeat. If I didn't have weight loss success, I didn't have anything of value in my life.

And I think it was also physiological. The more I wanted to lose weight, the more drastic methods I would use to lose it - the more hungry I would feel, and the steeper blood sugar drops and other physiological responses made me feel so insanely hungry that my body over-rode my commitment (as intense as it was).

Crash diets set you up for failure, because no matter how intense your commitment, the primitive brain is able to trump the less ancient (evolution-wiswe) cognitive part. You can't choose not to breathe. Not for very long, the primitive part of your brain will force you to breathe eventually (even if you have to pass out, first). It's possible that eating isn't much different (except that you won't lose consciousness, though it may feel like your consciousness is just along for the ride), but the desire to eat, may get so overwhelming that it doesn't feel like a choice anymore (even as you're putting the food in your mouth, you're trying to stop, but just can't seem to summon the strength to do it).



I'm not dismissing the role of commitment, drive and purpose (collectively known as willpower). I'm just saying you can get started without it, and you may even be able to succeed without it. I lost about half of my weight "this time", on the lowest possible levels of commitment, drive, and purpose I've ever, ever had. I was sure I was doomed to failure because of it, and I succeeded "despite myself."

For me, the secret was cutting carbs. When I eat low carb (especially if I eat low enough) hunger so drastically disappears, that so does the need for all that intense willpower.


Willpower is a tool, a very powerful tool, but I don't think it's nearly as central to success as so often assumed. It's just one of the tools in your arsenal.

Like PP mentioned having something that you want enough to lose the weight once and for all is sometimes the best thing to focus on. Mine was having a child. I knew that I could not be the best mother I could be with all of the extra weight I had on me. That is what started me on the path to changing my lifestyle. I started March 7th and have had some nights eating out and pizza on Fridays, but the thing for me that is different this time than any other is I do not let it derail all of my efforts. I get right back on track the next day and realize that you cannot always be 100% perfect. I cut out white carbs (bread, potatoes) and eating out. I basically was eating out every single meal out in a restaurant. I now plan, plan, plan all of my meals. The night before I know what I am eating the following day. It sounds boring, but it has helped my immensely. I have found that when I do not plan, it is so easy for me to just say "oh well I am crunched for time and I am just going to hit the drive-through. "


As far as exercise goes, I had not done any form of it for about 15 years. So I wanted to be able to do something that I enjoy and know I could do routinely. One of those things is swimming/water aerobics. There is no pressure on the joints and it is a great all over body workout. Another thing to add is I have a couple of work out buddies which helps. I think having someone else that relies on you to show up to class, the gym, etc helps me get my butt in gear. Good Luck!

^^^^^THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely!!