Still struggling.

  • It's funny no matter what changes happen in my life one thing has remained the same for 12 years. I am bulimic.

    Recently (May) I got engaged. He's a Marine and was only temporaly stationed in my town. Then my EX husband decided to go for the gold (full custody) my 3 year old daughter now lives in Iowa with him. So I moved to follow my fiance (who will be my husband Nov 9), have no job, nothing to do, don't really know anyone here. My world has literally been turned upside down. But somehow the bulimia remains present. I can be happy, or sad, doesn't matter, bulimia just tags along. Been hospitalized 3 times, seen 4 therapist (not counting ER docs), been on 3 anti-depressants, and here I am. I'm starting to wonder if this is just the way I will be.

    I don't take pride on being bulimic, but I am not ashamed either. I guess I have just excepted.

    Just wanted to get that off my chest I guess. I haven't posted in such a long time with moving (note: do not ship your computer UPS).

    Anyhow, I'm open to your thoughts...
  • Nobiad,

    Congrats on getting hitched in November !!

    I'd like to say that you do not have to accept the way you are, meaning your bulimia (sp?) just like I don't have to accept my over eating problem. We are at oppisite ends of the eating disorder but the same. Does your hubby to be know about this ? maybe he could help you and give you the support you need. But no matter what, we have to do this for ourselves and we have to learn not to depend on others (although it does help when the support is there).

    Is there a chance you can see another therapist ? maybe you just haven't hit the right one. Have you considered a Christian therapist ? I believe if you go to the website Focus On The Family, they have people there that can guide you in the right direction. Maybe with a new therapist and a local support group you would get better results than just a therapist alone. I find that nobody know's (or can help you) what your going thru unless they have gone thru it themselves.....God does use us and our abilities/disabilities to help one another......Your life is to precious to be in and out of hospitals. I've been on a few antidepressants and I think I have found the right one for me. Don't give up, it may take several more tries but you are so worth it.

    Huggs, Leenie
  • Nobiad,

    Congratulations on your engagement. And a marine too!

    It must be so hard to feel like you have to accept this (bulimia)about yourself. You don't have to you know, but it is hard to fight and can make you tired and depressed.

    Please hang in there and keep trying to find a way!

    baby steps, baby steps