I honestly have been working on building up my self esteem as I've been losing weight, I have spent much of my life not feeling good about myself. One thing I've done is whenever I'm talking with guys I always rationalize in my mind oh he can't possibly be interested in me....I don't even get when a guy is trying to flirt or not I just think oh he must just be joking...I feel like I'm so behind I just am not getting it...anybody else feel kinda awkward when it comes to flirting and all?

I have a fiance and we've been together since high school BUT while I don't go out and intentionally seek people to flirt with ... it would be nice for someone of the opposite sex besides him to notice me. If I'm out with the girls or at work and men talk to me I pretty much just assume they are just being nice and would never in a million years be attracted to me ... I wish I didn't think this way. Even if I think a guy is kind of flirting with me I'll think of some reason why he really isn't like he's just trying to be nice/talk to my friend/ whatever else I don't know. I just assume I'm not attractive enough to flirt with even though my friends say otherwise. I guess maybe I'll get over it eventually. Like I said I'm not looking for a man but it's the whole self esteem issue I would like to get over.

I can flirt like mad when I'm comfortable with the guy, but unfortunately the guy is never interested in more than flirting as friends. I've gotten myself in trouble by falling for my best friend (gah! I'm so mad at myself) and just found out a couple of nights ago that he is absolutely not interested. Rejection sucks (and I'm trying to figure out how to survive the heartbreak), but I know I need to try to meet new guys. I just don't have the confidence that anyone could possibly be interested, so I'm with you on the whole feeling awkward thing.

Wow. It's kinda comforting to know I'm not the only one! I honestly don't think I would know if someone was flirting with me! The times when somebody does something forward, I usually take it as a joke. I work in a male-dominated field, and often don't even feel female, let alone attractive to other men. I am happily married, so don't really need the male attention, but it would be flattering.

Jenny

Flirting and dating and so forth can be awkward, but, if you're out and talking to a guy just go for it. I mean, you obviously aren't going to jump his bones right there in the gym or at the bar, but talk to him, smile, laugh, and make conversation. If he's talking to you there is obviously a reason he is, so don't overanalyze and just have fun If he's just interested in talking as friends, no harm done...after all, there's nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting!

Ah I add me to the group as well. I never realise when guys are flirting or even attracted to me, most of the time I get to rationalise that they are being nice.

For a WEIRD reason I seem to cause waiters to flirt with me a lot. All of my friends have noticed that. Like on Saturday I was in a restaurant with a friend and she was like "The waiter likes you!". And I answered "Oh I am sure he's just being nice." to which she replied "Trust me, this smile is not just being nice!" But this happens to me a lot on restaurants.

hah, this thread cracks me up (in a good way) because just until just recently (and i mean really, like 2 weeks ago recently) i was always completely oblivious to people flirting with me. i'm a very social, talkative person by nature so when guys would talk to me in bars or something i'd just treat it like i was talking to any of my friends, the possibility that the person was trying to flirt with me didn't really cross my mind

but then this guy a few weeks ago i met at a bar found me on facebook, started texting me and telling me how cute and charming i was and how much of a beautiful smile and eyes i have

basically, when you think that there may be just the most remote possibility of someone flirting with you, they probably are. think of it that way and run with it because they're probably already interested at least in the slightest

i've come to realize that no matter how subtle signs may seem, whatever vibes i get seem to be pretty accurate. however, if i am even remotely attracted to someone, i clam up and act cold :/ i tend to be flirtier with people i'm not even attracted to. i think i'm doomed to fail at having a love life and starting a family. but i figure that if i'm lucky, maybe things will work out just right. i wish i weren't so easily intimidated :/

Caliyah,
I feel the same way! It really stinks cause flirting with one another makes you feel attractive, sexy, wanted.....and at the moment I feel like no guy would possibly be interested in me. So I won'T even notice when somebody is interested in me.
Sounds like both of us have some catching up to do! There is still hope :-)
All we need is a little practice, right? Well, and of course we need to work on our self-image...did I say it right?!?!

I'm not awkward when it comes to flirting; I'm actually pretty smooth. haha but I've just always been a flirty person. Girls accuse me of flirting with their boyfriends when I haven't been. My body language is just naturally flirty.

That being said, when a man makes a move toward me, or starts trying to flirt with me, I brush it off. I'm not sure if it's a self-confidence thing, or if it's because I've been hurt in the past, but if I don't initiate the flirting, it's a no-go!

My friends, too, always ask me why I didn't flirt back with X or Y, and I just tell them that I wasn't interested, when in reality, I hadn't even given it any thought. I just automatically assume nothing will come of it and move on.

Sigh. I don't know when I started being like this, but I also don't know how to open myself back up. :/

I have an absolutely wonderful boyfriend, so I have no interest in flirting anymore. But, strangely, for how dang self conscious I have been my whole life, I never seemed to have a problem with flirting. I did have my own "style" though. Not intentionally, but looking back and comparing how I interacted with guys versus how I've seen other girls interact with guys. I went for the sweet, innocent, giggly/blushing, shy but intelligent angle. As opposed to the overt let-me-"accidently"-rub-my-boobs-all-over-you, in your face kind of flirting. If you try to be something you're not, it'll be obvious and awkward. I'm not a naturally extroverted person, so my flirting was much more subtle.

It's not really an intentional thing either. I don't have "moves" or "tricks." I never went somewhere with the intention of flirting. In all the situations I can think of, it just sort of happened. It started with a conversation and it snowballed into mutual flirting.

One trick that I've found very helpful, and this isn't even flirting-specific, just any social situation. If you "mirror" the person's body language, it will really make a connection. It will help you keep up with the emotion of the conversation and show the person that you're interested in what they're saying (on a subconscious level). If they lean in, you lean in. If they smile and have an excited look on their face, try to mirror that emotion in your expression. I think we generally do this naturally, if your friend is telling you a funny story, you probably smile. But have you ever tried to tell a funny story and the other person is sitting there with legs crossed and a grumpy look on their face? When we're self conscious (such as in a flirting situation), we may send blocking body language. Maybe sit hunched over with our legs crossed fiddling with our phone. So if you're trying to flirt, focus on sending opening outgoing body language.