I've managed to continue being binge-free...but I'm starting to think that I don't give myself enough credit. Yesterday, I stayed OP even though a friend and I went to lunch (Subway) and the movies (we got smoothies before...I had mine made with Splenda!) and my dinner got delayed because of a looooong line at a viewing. I was literally about to eat my hand by the time I got home, but instead of shoving easy to eat junk in my mouth, I took the time to cook some dinner! Didn't even snack once! And then, I watched Jillian Michaels new show (did anyone else watch?) with a friend and we made s'mores (s'mores are surprisingly OP! They are relatively low in points!) All on OP, I felt like I had food-sanity all day, but all I could tell myself when I went to bed was "You squeaked by another day." I was thinking about that this morning...heck...I didn't "squeak by" I passed with flying colors! I socialized, indulged yet honored my hunger (my friend had a second s'more, I didn't because I wasn't hungry and one was enough!), and woke up this morning feeling good about myself.

But, I have this nagging feeling because I don't know where this new sanity (I don't want to use the word control because I've discovered I don't like the word, it sounds suppressive to me...and I don't want to feel like I'm suppressing myself my whole life.) has come from and I'm afraid it will disappear just as randomly as it has appeared.

Does anyone have similar feelings of wondering where seemingly random periods of food sanity comes from? I want to keep it, but I'm not sure I've figured out how! Does anyone else struggle with giving themselves credit for making healthy choices? Passing it off as a fluke or minimizing it? I want to celebrate my healthy choices and accept but not dwell on the unhealthy ones, but I find the opposite happening. I dwell on and analyze whatever unhealthy choices I make, constantly thinking "If only I hadn't ______, then ____ wouldn't have happened. But, I ignore healthy choices I make everyday. Maybe I don't acknowledge them because I feel it something I *should* be doing, so I have a hard time giving myself credit for what I should be doing anyways. I don't know...

Sorry this has been so random! But I'd love to hear people's thoughts on the previous questions!

Only you know the good choices you made today if you don't feel pride and love yourself for it who will?

Yes, yes, yes! I go through phases of eating well, exercising and it all seems to come easily... until I "fall of the wagon" and stop exercising and stop being dilligent about eating my veggies and then I just don't know how to get back to that "zen" like place where it is "easy".

Honestly... I think it takes practice. Every day we meet our plan, makes it easier to do another day on plan. I have been spending some time really reflecting inwards and I just started this last week or so stopping before I eat and asking myself: "Am I hungry?" "Why am I about to eat?" "Do I need to fuel my body or is there some outside trigger that is prompting me to eat?" And I have jsut been starting off with answering those questions and just trying to be really AWARE of what I am doing and why I am doing it.

I am hoping with practice, it will get easier for me to say no to food when I am being triggered by an outside force rather than by actual hunger. I am hoping that I can enjoy a serving of foods I like without going back for more once I am satiated (sp?).

I am REALLY trying to put the focus on my thoughts, emotions, etc. rather than focusing on: "I should only have 10 chips and half of an apple and exercise for exactly 30 minutes". I am trying to savor the flavor and stop. I am trying to do exercise that I enjoy for the sake of doing it, rather than doing it just to burn calories.

Sorry... I think I am starting to ramble!!

Foxxy511 and SCraver, your posts resonate so much with me. I went several months completely on plan when I was enjoying eating healthy and running daily, but I always minimized my success and was sure I was going to slip into a binge at any moment. Well that binge has happened hard core now. My whole weight loss was geared toward my brother's wedding which was a week ago and since then I have eaten NON-STOP. Clearly, there's the issue of feeling deprived. It's also TOM which makes me ravenous. But I know there's something emotional nagging at me that I'm trying to comfort with food, but I can't identify what it is yet. I am trying to claw my way out of this hole and I will make some good decisions for one meal but then I slip right back a few hours later. I haven't worked out in days and I'm sitting here now in my exercise clothes battling with myself to get to the gym. I am really struggling to understand where that period of food sanity came from and how I can get back to it. I find myself just devastated by all the poor food choices I've been making, but I never gave myself any credit for the millions of good choices that I have made.

Anyway, I also feel like I am rambling. I don't have any answers to understanding how to find food sanity or how to give ourselves credit for all the good decisions we make, but it's just nice to know others are having the same feelings.