So, a little background on me - I am primarily a vegan.... meaning, when I have control over my kitchen (which is most of the time and I rarely ever eat out), I eat vegan - whole foods cooked with a macrobiotic flair.

This weekend was my boyfriend's mother's birthday. She LOVES cooking - loves cooking with ALL types of animal products... cheeses, mayonnaise, butter, all kinds of meat - needless to say, there was not even one dish that was vegetarian. Even the bread had little pieces of bacon in it. It would be extremely rude of me to reject the food, they also simply don't understand.

I took very small portions of everything and chewed, chewed, chewed. I never really felt satisfied and the next day I felt like I had a veil over my eyes on top of a headache. I was also lethargic.

That was Saturday/Sunday. To top it off, all we had in the house yesterday (Sunday) was some vegetarian spinach noodle filled things (which my boyfriend usually eats). So, I still could not resume my normal diet.

Today I woke up, yearning to start my detox and start feeling better again.

Besides the lethargy and headache - I also just noticed that two new pimples have sprung up on my face, near my jaw bone. They are somewhat itchy. Odd. Today I will be making baked brown rice, mexican beans, swiss chard, and celery soup.

I just wanted to comment on how bad food can make you feel. The western European diet astounds me - so much milk and meat and animal fat. I live in Germany and I look around at all the people - who get much more exercise than the average American - but are still plumping up significantly... with red faces... and big bellies. They are still eating their big ole brats and drinking too much beer. I just look around and feel a bit of sadness.... its like, if people only knew.... they could feel better and not feel deprived if they only realized how poisonous the average western diet is.

Ok- I just needed to write this to de-stress.

My opinion may not be very helpful but...

I will say that I don't believe it is rude to have a dietary preference. I think the rude portion would be if someone didn't know and then you show up and say "I'm not eating any of this" without some knowledge beforehand. In our world with allergies and the fact that most people are lactose intolerant, how can it be rude to eat what makes you feel good?

My advice would be to let her know that you are vegetarian, don't eat meat, dairy or eggs and then offer to bring something for you to eat so she doesn't have to stress. You could even mention something about doctor's recommendation if you want to take the edge off of you a bit.

Meat can make you sick once you have abstained from it for so long. When I first tried beef again, I believed I could honestly taste the food they ate and the smell of their manure. I was disgusted. I just went back to veganism after a couple years of just eating whatever and I feel amazing. I have so much energy that I can clean my grandma's house for 6 hours straight, where as before I could only clean for 20 mins and need to sit down. Now every meal gives me a boost of energy (as it should), instead of making me want to lay down and take a nap. It's just been one week but I feel awesome. Talk with your family and his family and make sure they accept your way of life. Offer to bring a vegan entree or two that they can taste and that you can eat so they don't have to watch you sit there. Animal rights are important to us, but offer up the health reasons you are vegan. Say you can't cross the lines of veganism for your health. Some people might not agree with this view, but you can make an issue of lactose intolerance if they are still stubborn about it (which is rude of them, so you can afford to tell a white lie to a rude person, no?). For me I really am lactose intolerant and my mom is allergic to eggs, so my family thought it was great that I am avoiding them, even if they don't agree with my views.

Oh and one thing I forgot to say is that people do want to share food with others, it is part of who we are but how do you think your boyfriend's mother would feel if she knew you hated her food and it disgusted you? I mean, if I make something, I don't want people to eat it because they want to please me but rather because they like it.

I once slept over my friend's house, she's got a serious social disorder, and really isn't normal..and though it makes me feel guilty to say it, me and my friends are only friends with her because we feel bad for her...

but anyway, my other friend who also slept over made it clear to her that I can't eat meat because I'm a vegetarian, and she can't eat meat because it was ash wednesday.
So her mom made pasta in a tomato sauce and broccoli on the side.
I went in the kitchen to help clean up, and I saw the pasta sauce jar and it had beef in it!!
That night i felt horrible, all I felt was stabbing pains in my stomach!
It was terrible...

Hopefully you'll feel better now that you're eating good again,
and I'm sure United Statesians are a lot more unhealthy than western europeans, but it is sad now that other countries are starting to get chubby too

I hear ya, sista! Our bodies heal themselves so quickly if we just give it the right nutrition. Over the weekend, I ate some cheese pizza and other stuff that my body could do with out and for the past couple of days, I have all sorts of aches and pains. I'm all poofy and foggy. And all I really want to do is go back to bed for the rest of the day.

So, this morning, my workout will be kind of brutal. But it will be good to get back on track with daily green smoothies and gobs of fruits and veggies!

I hope you start feeling better!

I'm so glad to have people that understand my pains! I don't have anyone else to talk to about this...

Nellie - That is an interesting point that I hadn't considered. Her food 'tastes good' - its not the taste that disgusts me.... but I do have tons of anxiety when eating her food because that is exactly the type of food that made me fat as a teenager and then I consider the suffering that had to occur in order for that to be a meal.... that is why I hate the food.

I suppose I just haven't said anything because she takes such pride in her cooking- her favorite thing in the world to do is to feed people... I haven't known her that long and just don't have the energy to tell her, in German, about my 'odd' way of eating.... there are probably 10 vegans in the whole country. They LOVE their fresh meat here - the way americans love their fresh fried fast food.

I too can tell the difference from how I eat now to how I use to eat. If I'm having a day where junk food is what I am craving and if I cave in, almost immediately I feel the difference. My stomach just doesn't handle it like before and the headaches are a big sign that what I was eating just isn't the best for me.

Hmmm, I'm wondering something here..
Since you said his mother takes pride in her cooking and loves to feed people, do you think she'd react positively if you went to her and told her that you are actually a vegan and was wondering if she could help you come up with some great tasting meal ideas?

Maybe if she is told that because you think she is such a great cook, she will react positively and be interested in finding something just as yummy but vegan.

If you don't want to try that, I like Nelie's advice about possibly offer to bring something for you to eat so she doesn't have to stress, or even mentioning something about a doctor's recommendation to take the edge off a bit.

bonnie - I don't know if vegans are that rare in germany, I have read things by german vegans elsewhere. I've also read about vegan food in germany. I also found a website www.vegan.de (no idea what it says)

HappyCow also lists various vegan/vegetarian restaurants in germany:
http://www.happycow.net/europe/germany/munich/
http://www.happycow.net/europe/germany/nuremberg/
http://www.happycow.net/europe/germany/berlin/
http://www.happycow.net/europe/germany/hamburg/
http://www.happycow.net/europe/germany/cologne/

Here is the generic site if you would like to find a specific city:
http://www.happycow.net/europe/germany/

So I know you may feel isolated but there are definitely vegans