Buy a donut, eat a bite, then pass it to a thin friend who'll take a bite then throw it away?

Saw it on Cougar Town. It was a non-thing, just something they did at a coffee shop or something. Not part of the storyline. I was amazed!

I know it's just a show..but people who aren't compulsive eaters can do this kind of thing without it being a big thing, can't they? I'm not saying I couldn't do it, I just couldn't do it mindlessly. Mindlessly I would eat the whole donut and a dozen more.

I guess I'm jealous and amazed and wondering if I will have to be vigilant forever? Will I ever just be able to eat without thinking about every bite? Sadly I really think the answer is yes to the first and no to the second. Otherwise every time I've lost I wouldn't have regained when things got rough emotionally and I let my guard down.

Something I am just going to have to come to terms with I guess. At least if I want to be healthier for life and not just for the short term.

I sometimes wonder what naturally thin people are thinking. I have a hunch that they pay attention to what they eat, but they have better control. In the scene in Cougar town, the thin women might know a whole donut would be too many calories and took a bite to get a taste.

I think in time vigilance will become an ingrained habit and we won't have to think about every bite as much.

But I abstain from sugar. Life is just simpler that way. One bite of a donut will lead me down the path to a binge.

This really hit home to me today. I ordered a pizza, having figured out that I could eat 3/4 of it today and have it fit in to my calorie goals. (I'm moving, so I can't cook anything, this seems manageable for the day). So I had some for lunch, put it in the fridge and then worried about it for 2 hours. What if I can't stop at dinner and eat the whole thing instead of my 3/4? What if I eat an extra slice? What if I nibble on too much? What if there is more cheese on the middle part and I eat the wrong 3/4? So after obsessing forever, I had to go take 1/4 of the pizza out of the box and throw it away.
I think I will forever have to be vigilant. I don't think I will be able to stop at one bite. I think I can throw it away, but I won't be able to just set it in my purse for later or share it. I think I'm veering into obsessive behavior.

I guess we will have to come to terms with the fact that we can never be 'mindless' eaters. But that's probably better for us in the long run.

I don't think thin peeps have better control. I actually don't think they crave sugar or fat in the same way a larger person who eats large quantities of things does. They just find ways to stay out of the way of the donuts or else don't give themselves access to a dozen at once. Believe me, I say this as a (struggling) inhaler of donuts and brownies and stuff.

Just out of curiosity, do you think the writers/directors/actors did that on purpose? I mean, was it obvious that they threw away almost an entire donut after each only having a nibble? If so, I'm wondering if they were poking fun at the lengths people will go to to be thin... or poking fun at a show like Friends, where the impossibly thin actresses apparently subsisted on muffins and lattes. Almost like they were making a statement about the reality of these thin, thin women on TV.

More to the point of your question... I am beginning to think that yes, I will always have to be vigilant. I think every person in the world has their own problems and hangups. I have a friend who eats pretty much as she wants and is fabulously thin (please note I did not say she eats like crazy... she eats moderately... but that's really all she wants). BUT, she is a germaphobe and a hypochondriac. Me, not so concerned about germs or that tingling in my arm earlier today. But I did eat 400 calories of rice... after promising myself I wouldn't eat any rice. So there you go. We each have our own baggage.

So what I'm trying to say is, yep, some people get to be skinny without thinking about it. Some of us don't. But we've all got troubles. They're just different, and we've gotta work with what we've got.

thesame7lbs: I'm sure they were poking fun, it's a sitcom, and they certainly poke fun of drinking too much wine all the time, one time even quoting some study that said that women who drink wine tend to be thin, so they figured that was a great reason to keep drinking wine. But I guess the thing that got me is that the donut thing was in the show, but it wasn't a theme, like the wine tends to be, there was no dialogue, it was over in a moment. There was no character sweating because they could only eat that one bite else gain weight, glaring at the other because she took a bigger bite, no inner struggle, no longing for the rest of the donut, it was just how these two friends, both very slender, eat a donut, like no big thing. I don't know if I will ever be able to make those kinds of choices without thinking about them and probably agonizing over them.

You're right, we all have baggage, I just have to learn to accept that this is going to be part of mine for the rest of my life. And give myself permission to be a little jealous without feeling guilty about it.

Priscatip: I guess that's one thing I'm trying to get a handle on, I don't want this to become an obsession. I know I have to learn a different way of thinking about food, and I am back in the beginning stages of this, so I have to devote a lot of mental energy to planning meals and making very conscious choices, I just don't want it to become so obsessive that even though I'm not overweight anymore I'm still not mentally healthy, if that makes sense?

I'm just trying to work this all out in my own head, so that I have realistic views of what things will be like in the future. There isn't going to be some magic "switch" when I reach my goal where I get to just stop thinking about all this, but I also hope that at some point it will be easier and that just reading about what types of things emotional eaters crave doesn't make me start craving those things.

I think I'd have the control to only have one bite~
But what a waste of money o.0

Jeniansmom, I should point out that that kind of pep talk is the kind I can give (to others or myself) only on good days... on bad days I stand in front of my pantry, staring at all the good stuff, and thinking, OMG, am I going to have to do this the rest of my life?!? Sweat over every bite?!?

Yep, I am.

I think that things become habit. The more you do something, the easier it is.

I wonder if "naturally" thin girls think of most food like I think of ice cream. Ice cream is yummy and all... but I can take it or leave it (who is gasping over this statement?). If one day ice cream were made illegal... whatever. I really don't think I would miss it.

When I think of all the money I have spent on Weight Watcher meetings, memberships to gyms, workout DVD's, home exercise equipment, diet pills, green tea supplements, etc. I really think that eating the whole donut would be more of a waste of money than throwing most of it away.

Even cheaper: stay away from the donut shop entirely and avoid buying the donut in the first place. That's my approach. I haven't had a donut or a part of a donut in I-don't-know-how-long. I did have a (whole) peanut bun during a Mother's Day outing to China town, but it was part of a planned special meal.

I noticed something similar when I was at a friend's house for a cookout on Sunday. He's very thin, and I know he always eats complete junk. But he loaded his plate with a giant hamburger, hotdog, doritos, and baked beans. Then when he was almost done with his burger, he sat it down and said he was full and that he thought he was a lot hungrier than he was, leaving the hotdog, doritos, and beans untouched. I knew that he had just done something that I don't naturally do. If I had done the same thing, I would have ate everything on the plate before realizing I ate so much that I felt ill. I have to think about everything I eat and tell my body to say no when I feel full. I hope that some day it will be more natural.

It becomes easier once you have lost the weight. I hate fast food with a passion (with the exception of Subway and the occasional piece of pizza) after not eating it for a while and sweets as well (including pop). You're body becomes so used to fruit and veggies (and other good foods) that that becomes all it wants and everything else just looks unappetizing. That's my experience, anyway. Good luck!

Dhani