Hello

This forum had been a real help throughout my weight-loss journey.
So thank you all!

Just a quick history lesson

1998: Into college, weight:155
2002: Out of college, weight: 190
2003-2004: Weight Gain: up to 260
2005: Weight Loss: down to 175 (maintained for about 6 months)
2006: Weight Gain: up to 260 again!
2009: Weight Loss: down to 185

Since about September I've been maintaining (I refuse to call it a plateau because I know I was just eating too much to lose).

That's not the problem, although I still want to go down to around 143ish (I'm 5'3.5 btw).

The problem is the last month or so... I just can't stop eating! I can't say no! I've started getting back to my old habits. Eating out (junk) a lot. Buying lots of chocolates and snacks when I go shopping and eating them 24/7. Not planning my meals and eating anything convenient. Not exercising. Overeating.

And when there's no chocolate around I feel very panicky !

Plus I've been feeling especially stressed out during the last few weeks, and it's like ... you know... I don't want to be to hard on myself or something so I allow myself to overeat to "feel better"

I know I have a problem with food... I've read a lot of books.. it seems nothing's helped (yet).

And I've never been really strict with food when I'm losing weight (I don't diet, just pseudo-calorie count/eat less/eat lower fat) ...


Now I'm back again at 198 (!) and:
I DON'T WANT TO GAIN IT ALL BACK AGAIN!
I fought so hard to lose the weight I just cannot fathom gaining it all back again. I already feel depressed just thinking about it.

How can I get back into the "lose weight" mentality?
And how can I deal with the stress without using food???

I really don't know what to do... although if someone asked me the same question I'd just say do what worked before and avoid what didn't work...

Any other ideas???

very heartfelt post and i am sure many people can relate to it :/

first of all. by your words, gather up all your determination. remember how you felt when you saw the numbers go up. remember how eating because of stress doesn't really make whatever's stressing you go away.

try and find a plan- call it a nutrition plan, not a diet, that you're happy to have. try and ask yourself before you eat something: is my body going to thank me for that?

keep a food diary through both good days and bad to hold yourself accountable.

ultimately, the power is in your hands.

You have answered your own question.

I would have to suggest asking yourself what has made you gain the weight back in the past and how are you going to stop the cycle this time? Have a plan in place to make it fail-safe this time.

For me, the thing that has made me quit in the past has been the scale. So this time, in order to combat that, I have two strategies in place. 1. I've given myself a commitment of one year to be on plan no matter what the scale says. So the scale no longer tells me if I am successful...the calendar does. And I am six months successful! 2. I started weighing daily. I figure that will be key to me in maintenance because I can't bury my head in the sand and pretend I'm not gaining if I actually SEE it right there in front of me.

And then, you've just got to get started again. And you have to start knowing that those first few days are going to be rough. Get three solid days of clean eating under your belt, tough it out, and after that, things get easier.

I can't really tell you anything you don't already know from experience. But it's nice to be reminded that it does get easier.

For me, what really helps is admitting that I have a life-long problem, which basically amounts to an incurable illness.

That illness is a tendency to seek comfort, oblivion and stimulation through eating too much rich food, combined with a body that doesn't burn off excesses easily.

What I'm going to have to do, if I want to stay where I'm at, is akin to someone managing a lifelong condtion like Type 1 diabetes.

Once, I thought if I achieved a certain number, some sort of self-regulating mechanism would automatically kick in, and I'd become One of Them, which is, one of the naturally slender.

When I gave up believing that I still had any natural self-regulating mechanism, or hoping it would ever be effortless, then I was angry at the unfairness & then grieving what I thought I'd one day have, but ultimately, it really helped. I came to a place of acceptance & understood that if I want to stay at that number, it's going to take vigilance & work & careful choices. Always. Forever. Any time I get complacent & stop paying attention, I'm risking a regain.

I too look at my dealings with food as a life long condition, one that can't be cured but that can be managed with careful monitoring, planning, effort and commitment.

When I made the decision to lose the weight, I did so so with the intent of losing it once and for all, no matter what and PERMANENTLY. That meant establishing life long new healthy habits, ones that I would ALWAYS adhere to. You can't just do this sometimes, or when you feel like it, or only when circumstances permit. Imagine if I were to run my household that way, my money, my job, my family - it would be a mess and chaotic. No thank you. The same holds true for my food intake. It matters. It matters a lot to me. I no longer settle for a second best existience, not when a first best one is available to me. This is IMPORTANT and it is worthy of all the time and effort I put into it. It's a lot better than spending time being miserable about re-gaining weight and about being heavy.

This was/is no diet that I'm *on* or off - I just continue on with the new healthy life style that I now adhere to.

Stress eating? Well, you've got to realize, find the adult in you and tell yourself that eating due to stress causes waaaaay more problems than it solves. Stop settling for short lived temporary fixes, which in the end fixes NOTHING at all. You're an adult - you need to make mature, reasonable, rational decisions. You don't drive recklessly, you shouldn't eat recklessly either.

And yes, I think you do know what to do - stop buying the garbage, stop letting it in, you can't get away with it, it doesn't work. Start planning out those healthy meals and snacks. Eating healthy does not happen on it's own, you can't wing it - it needs to be thought out in advance. It requires a continuous, conscientious effort - one that you must be willing to put forth or there will be a price to pay.

You don't want to gain back any more weight - so than don't. You don't have to. It is your choice. It is up to you. Weight gain just doesn't happen to a person, likewise with weight loss - you manipulate it, you orchestrate it.

Decide you want to do this, once and for all, permanently and no matter what. And be willing to put forth the effort that is needed to MAKE it work. The best plan in the world, whatever that may be for each of us individuals will stop working the second we stop making it work.

Go back to dieting one oh one. RE-COMMIT!!! You know what to do. Now get out there and do it.

I'm a yo-yo dieter. Over the years, I have found the key for me is the gym. As long as I'm consistently working out I can come back from a binge period. However, if that goes, the diet will follow and I'll start gaining. Hope it helps.

I nearing the end of my journey but can tell I haven't addressed many of my mental issues and if I don't tackle them I will be writing a similar post in the months to come. So I'm trying to work these issues out. I'm just starting Geneen Roth's books and while I can't recommend them yet because I haven't read them yet, but can tell you titles and chapters sound very interesting. I personally struggle with binge eating and emotional eating and I feel that to truely make my weight loss a success and permanent I must get these under control. It sounds to me like you have also have some emotional issues when it comes to food especially is you're feeling anxiety when there is no chocolate around. So I would suggest more books and maybe even a chat with a therapist. You know you know how to lose weight now we just need to figure out how to keep it off.