So I joined the gym a little over a month ago and I've been going about 3 times a week, mainly focusing on the treadmill and distance, well I am very Highly anxious and I cant stand if someones on a machine near me ...I've been going mainly as early in the morning as they open since their are fewer people there than and sometimes I will go in the movie room where its dark cuz they have a movie playing and thats kind of nice to - helps to relieve the anxiety...however I had a few free sessions with a personal trainer and this was in the evening after work which is the busiest time and although i get along with him great im still super emberrassed and feeling awkward and anxious about working out infront of other people, mainly the whole getting sweaty thing or fearing i look like an idiot or just weak if i cant perform all the excersizes...and I am supposed to try and sign up for some regular sessions with the trainer but they would be in evenings so either i do it and force myself to try and get over these phobias or risk total emberrassment...I wish I didnt care everyone else there seems to be in their own worlds for the most part and probably dont care about other people around them but its still really bothering me...does anyone have any advice to offer me? I dont know what to do...and I dont want to go on anti anxiety or depression medication - I'm seeing a therapist and trying to get over these issues on my own...its just really hard sometimes.

people don't go to the gym to look at other people. a decent gym will have people who look at you with the opinion it doesn't matter how badly of light the exercise is your doing because at least your doing it. do you have a gym buddy? try and find one as this will take you mind off other people and also motivate you.

lastly the trainer. if you are expected to part with your cash then you get to dictate terms not him! your paying him therefore you get what you want when you want if that means you want a PT at your house at 0500 so you can train in the local park before work then you can find one.

any PT that dictates to you that you workout with him at a time that makes you uncomfortable is one to avoid. these days you can throw a stone out the window and hit a PT talk to him about the times if he says no find another one.

I think thats exactly the advice I needed to hear!! Thank you I feel much better now and I think I am going to wait on the whole PT thing until I find someone who feels right and is flexible with schedules.

Generally, most people are wayyy too busy sweating to pay attention to anyone else. The only time I talk to people at the gym is while waiting for classes or if it's someone I know. Otherwise, I go there, do my own thing and leave and I'm pretty sure most of the gym doesn't realize I exist.

Congratulations mizmizzy on actually signing up for the gym and doing what you have done already because there's a lot of people out there who wouldn't take that step in the first place for fear of feeling uncomfortable.

Agree with slimmingsi and the trainer comments.

I go to the gym, and personally when i see people looking hot and sweaty then i admire them the most. That's what you're there to do for goodness sake!!

It's the people who are half-heartly peddling along on a spin bike reading a magazine and looking relaxed and bored and that i roll my eyes at and wonder why they bother!!

Having said that, this observation of other people takes all of about 2 seconds and then i'm just thinking about myself. Lol.

Stick at it a bit longer since you've done the hardest bit already. I think it will become more familiar soon.

Do you feel ok about it if you imagine that you've been there a long time, and everyone has seen you heaps of times before and everything is routine?

Or try a spin bike session to start with. Great exercise and you truly don't get a chance to look at anyone then (plus ours are all held in a dark room for extra anonymity!)

I understand the anxiety thing. I hate it!! I am a morning gym rat myself and I've become quite familiar with everyone I see at the that time. Familiarity takes away my anxiety. But when I'm there on Saturdays and the gym is CROWDED with mostly people I don't know...I have to remind my feet to keep moving because I want to run back back to my car.

I'm best if I have a plan. Any wandering around I might find myself doing increases the anxiety and more often than not I'll just walk out at that point.

So I guess my suggestion is to have a plan and develop a set time that you go. Most people are creatures of habit, so you'll find the same people there most of the time at the same time of day.

There is a true anxiety and then there is a fear. If it's just a fear, it may help to understand that others are focused inwardly. But if it's true anxiety like mine, rationalizing it away doesn't do anything. My body takes up the flight response in unfamiliar situations and it sucks! It's why I am not safe to drive in unfamiliar places...at all!! I'm a completely calm and collected driver around home, even a bit aggressive when I need to be. But put me in the city or on a road trip and I am a ridiculous nervous wreck and it's not safe for others around me.

I feel the same way too. I think its super rude when there are a million machines and people pick the one right next to me. I do the treadmill and ellyptical but I don't run on the treadmill due to my ankles from cheerleading and gymnastics back in the day. I get annoyed when people get on and start running a 5K next to me as I'm briskly walking. I don't get anxious, but then again people don't go to the gym to check out what other people are doing. That's why I love my gym. People go there, do what they have to do and leave. Nobody cares what your doing and nobody stops to even look. If your feeling uncomfortable, maybe find a gym that's more low key and less crowded. You shouldn't feel embarrassed. The way I look at it is your at the gym in the first place. That should show that your trying your hardest to lose the weight!

This may sound weird, but it really makes a difference to me: try to think nice things about all the people around you. ""Wow, she has good hair", "Man, he's got great shoulders", "Every time I come in, I see her. She sure is dedicated". We tend to assume other people are like us. If you are nice and charitable about other people inside your head, you'll tend to assume they are nice and charitable about you. If you are thinking mean, catty things about other people, you'll assume they are being catty about you inside their heads.

Think about it - can you remember anyone that you see at the gym? Even when someone makes an impression on me when I first see them, five minutes later, I can't remember what they looked like or what my impression of them was.

Most people are just there to do their thing and aren't concerned with what everyone around them is doing.

The first time I went to a gym, two guys passed by me and one of them called me a "little b*tch" under his breath. Some people really are nasty. I was like >.> w/e and I continued doing my stuff.

Some great advice in this thread!!

(Schmeads approach is worth gold! Love it!)

It's worth bearing in mind that if you're prone to anxiety anyway (generalised, or specific fears/phobias) for some people the feelings can be intensified as they're loosing weight....detoxing or whatever. If you think about it as something that's washing over you rather than as something that's got you in it's grip that might help??

BEST to you,
A

I am sorry but I don't understand this. Why should it be rude for somebody to get on a machine next to you???
I don't know if this is typical, but I, for example, have one elliptical that I prefer to the rest. So if that elliptical is not in use, I will get one it regardless whether there is somebody on the machine to the left or to the right.

I tend to pick the machine with the best view of the TV that i want to watch, and so do others, so it's typical for 4 or 5 people to be all next to each other whilst there's plenty of other machines spare

Because there is a strong social convention that you don't enter the space around someone without a reason: it's ok to stand right next to a stranger in a crowded elevator, because your reason is clear. It's NOT ok to stand that close to a stranger in an empty hallway because there doesn't seem to be any reason for it, and that makes it seem threatening.

Personally, if there was a machine that was my favorite, I'd ask permission from the other person: "Hey, this is my favorite machine. Do you mind if I move right next to you?" and they can grunt or nod affirmation. Once it's clear why you are there, it's not weird or creepy.

I kind of agree with Shmead. For me it's more about smell. I hate that I stink with sweat and don't want anyone I don't know around me.