So, I am having a reflective moment, and wondering how I got to my weight, how I let my weight be such a big (no punn intended) part of my life, and why I am feeling like,....well....so unbelievably lost.

I feel like I have gone through a lot in my life, and though I resisted it for soooo long, I really do think my weight issues are a result of those experiences, AND of not knowing how to eat right for my body and what my body needs.

Now, I feel, well, lost. I feel like I am really understanding more about why I am where I am in my life with my weight, my body image, my relationships, etc., and I also feel like I am at a point where I am saying "whew" to some things I went thru, but even as I start to feel like I can be just normal like anyone else, I turn around, and everyone is married and with babies and living, again, these normal lives. I just feel so behind and lost and sometimes a little despondent. I feel like when I was just "surviving" during the difficulties in my life, others were having fun and just being young. and now that I feel like maybe I am getting control of my food and my weight and my life, and maybe I can start to have more fun and feel a little younger than I do now, everyone is far ahead with having the life that I want to have.

All I can do is just keep with the weightloss. I do so hope that I can lose weight soon...I am very afraid that because I have stayed fat so long, that it may prevent me from falling in love and having a family and buying my own house, etc.

I feel like my weightloss is this mad dash at a chance to be the person I really feel like inside.

You know it sounds like to me that you are doing a lot of the inner reflective work that I believe it takes to lose weight. And, since you have lost 14 pounds (Congratulations!) you are also doing the "outer" things that we all know it takes to lose weight and keep it off (like eating right and exercising).
For me, it takes both inner and outer changes to lose weight.
You said that you are watching friends get married and have babies. That is true, but you can be assured that they have their challenges in life as well.
It is never too late for you to fall in love and perhaps have children. If you see your weight as an impediment, you still have plenty of time to do something about it. Look at all the accomplishments you see here on 3FC. You can do the same! Your journey will be an opportunity to learn so much more about yourself and perhaps overcome some of the difficulties you've had in your life.
It is never too late to decide to be happy! You deserve this and I will be rooting for you!

Thank you. I just sometimes worry that maybe it won't happen. And I just don't feel like my life would be full or what I want it to be if it doesn't. I guess I am really trying to look for some sense of purpose.

Million I had my oldest son at 200lbs & 21, my middle at 250lbs & 35 & youngest at 280+ & 38 so don't worry too much. Better to wait for the right guy who'll love you at 300 & get healthy than to starve for a guy who wants you at 150lbs (or whatever) & as you see weight & age aren't always a barrier to children & love. You keep on focussing on getting healthy I'm sure as your skin is glowing, hair shining & you're smiling the right guy will fall at your feet!!!!
xxxxxxx sharon

Anger, denial and grief are part of this journey - so many questions too. I finally had to move past that and say "I'm the responsible one now - forgive ME and move on" - it is difficult at times to do that. I had to adopt an attitude of only being concerned with the next pound I lose rather than the ultimate number on the scale.

You're doing great!

Thank you everybody! Your words of support really help me. I know that I will feel better at a much healthier weight, I just sometimes worry about the whole love aspect. It is difficult at times when everyone around you is doing the same thing, and you seem stuck on still fixing problems within yourself.

I think by working on yourself first, you will be more likely to attract someone withwhom you will be more likely to have a healthy relationship. It helps to be happy with yourself, before you can be happy with someone else.

Thank you, Over. I think...no, wait, I KNOW that you are right. All of my friends are saying the same thing.

I think that my bf definitely encouraged me to feel better about myself. I do realize that throughout the relationship, I think I focused too much on trying to make sure he was happy, and not focusing on what I needed. I also realize that if I did feel better about myself, I would have that feeling of urgency to be with someone and get married super fast.

I am so hoping that as I lose weight, and I can exercise more, my skin will be glowing a bit more, and that with a bit more of a spring in my step, more guys will find me attractive and want to get to know me, and accept me for me.

I completely agree with Carol, it's a journey and finding the answers to all your questions is part of that journey, a healthy part actually.
Everyone takes a different path in life, don't look at that you're behind, look at it as you're unique. When you work through your issues and start to embrace your new life, it will make you a better wife and a better mother and if you are blessed enough to have daughters, you'll find your challenges allow you to connect to them in a way you never imagined.
You'll be able to incorporate a healthy lifestyle into your children from the beginning, and that will be a beautiful blessing, for them and for you.

Thank you. ((hugs))

I most definitely want to instill a healthier lifestyle into my children....I know that I ate the way I did as a kid because I wasn't really supervised, and I don't want that for my kids. Even the idea of a fast food burger is not something I want to offer my kids----not until the meat becomes better and safer quality.