I just joined a gym about a week ago and with the membership you get one free meeting with a personal trainer. Today I met with this PT and we went over what i wanted to accomplish out of the gym: lose weight, gain muscle,flexibility, blah blah. So he tells me it will take 2 years to get to my goal and by then i'll be done with school and getting a job and "maybe you can find a man"........excuse me? I'm not losing weight so I can find a man and just because i'm a woman doesn't mean its my overall goal.

Then he asked "out of these things which is important you right now" I picked "feeling better". He asked what I meant and I explained that feeling better to me means feeling energized ,happy, comfortable in my clothes, healthy, etc. He went on to say "yeah with losing weight you'll feel better and get higher self esteem". UHH. Newsflash, not all fluffy people have low self esteem. I feel just fine about myself, I just wantto feel healthy and comfortable in my clothes! I told him "no my self esteem is just fine"

have you every had an exp with a PT like this?

Ugh I'm sorry He probably took one look at you assumed that he knew everything about you. Well he's wrong. If you ever decide to get a PT, you might wanna shop around, because a LOT of them are like that....

Personal trainers irk me. I always got this "holier than thou" vibe off of them. Like because they were tan and worked out 3 hours a day they were better than me. I met a few that weren't, and they were formerly overweight (usually formerly obese) and became PTs after losing the weight. Those people are really cool, and real.

I've never had that experience with a Trainer. You should report it to the gym, and ask around for a recommendation for a new trainer.

Sorry you had to go through that, what a JERK!!!!!

Man I would have went OFF on him!

Could just be a case of him not thinking before he speaks, or not getting what he meant across well. That doesnt really excuse him though xD I agree with the others, if you arent happy with his manner then you should definately change if you intend to use a personal trainer for a while. Especially since they arent cheap! I got really lucky and my personal trainer is very nice, encouraging, harsh at the right times, pushes me without killing me lol. Definately doesnt have a holier than thou attitude! So do shop around, there are really good ones out there

Thanks ladies, the good thing is that I was just meeting with him today for my one time freebee. He did have a "i'm awesome" attitude. Either way I dont need to work with him again and DO NOT plan on having any kind of PT.

I used to work at a mall kiosk next to the bally total fitness trainers who were trying to recruit members. I feel that many of them have the attitude you have just described. Since they have never had to lose weight, nor do they know what it's like to be a woman, they can be really insensitive towards our issues. I think like someone else wrote, it would be best to complain and ask if there are any other options. Good luck !!

He's a guy.

Most guys don't have sensitivity chips and they just say what's on their mind. It's nothing personal, a lot of guys tend to be like that. My fiance tends to say stupid things, and he really means no harm.

I wouldn't take it any way and if you want to hire a PT, don't hire him.

What a jerk! Obviously not all trainers are like that, he's just a bad apple. There are plenty of good ones that care about their clients and their goals and needs. He's obviously not one. I'm sorry you had to go through that

I've encountered many PT's like this - male AND female - and I think it comes from them never being in the overweight situation. They just don't get it and think we're all fat, lazy fast food addicts who ride scooters to get from place to place instead of walking.

There are trainers out there who are not like this (haven't met one yet, but others say it so I believe) but your story is an example of why I refuse to work with a trainer.

I wonder if trainers start feeling like police officers after a while. Like when a crack addict lies and says he has no drugs when he has a stash in his shoe. Trainers have seen many overweight people join, get excited for a month and quit. He might have pinned you as one of those and being a guy I'm sure he constantly hears comments about losing weight for vanity reasons at the gym.

I’ve only ever had one personal trainer experience and it was just awkward and not my thing. I remember when I was signing up and doing the forty seven pages of required paperwork when joining a gym, all the trainers and gym staff were sitting around very nearby talking about how EXTREMELY FAT FAT FAT this girl they knew was. I guess I must have had a look on my face like wtf, because one of them looked at me and says: “No, I mean, I know you probably think you’re fat, but this girl is huuuuge.”

Yeah, I was racing to go work out in front of those people!

Sounds like this trainer assumes that all fat people are sad people and feel like crap about themselves. Which we all know is not true. I love that you have so much confidence…I envy that. Maybe you showed him a thing or two with your positive attitude!

I've known a few personal trainers personally and alot of time they often say things they gained from other clients or their own personal experience. So if they trained some heavier people and those people tell him "Oh, I've really increased my confidence" then that's what they'll say to some other clients...trying to use prior experiences to potentially relate to what the next client could be wanting. Does that make sense? The "find a man" line on the other hand just may of been a light hearted comment or a guy not thinking. I don't know. I wouldn't take it to personal...especially if you don't have train with him again.

PT is a very personal thing. It's totally ok to not like their personality and move on to someone else. Some people respond well to that kind of talk (I think it's naive and presumptuous on his part), but to get the most out of it I would find someone who didn't irritate me with talk like that. I'd get so worked up doing squats I might smack him

I knew a PT who was really more like a football coach (constantly in your face with "motivational" talk). I would get annoyed just listening to him train someone else. I really just need the guidance and instructions, though.

the comment "maybe you can find a man" is totally off lol.
but the other one "with losing weight you'll feel better and have higher self-esteem" I think it's true. Even if i don't have low self-esteem but i think being smaller and healthier will definitely boost my self-esteem to a higher level
and i totally agree with stuffedbunny.