I recommended the spark calculator as well! I used nutritiondata for the longest time but their index of foods was very limited and calculating a recipe would take longer than is took to cook the dish LOL.
I understand your frustration. I would say that in the beginning home cooked recipes were the worst for me as well. It really took some time to get used to calculating. I think how you calculate a recipe depends a lot on how many people will be eating the dish. If its just you, that is pretty easy to calculate the entire recipe and divide it into equal portions. If you are cooking for a family, as I do, it can become tricky because the children may eat less than a portion while the adults may eat more.
Lately, when it is possible, I have been calculating one serving of each item in a separate dish and cooking it along side with the dish for the family. That way I know exactly what is in my portion and I always have a slip of paper in the kitchen to record weights and quantities of each ingredient. When I get a moment, I plug my data into the spark calculator or occasionally just enter each ingredient separately into fitday if there are not too many.
Things like chilies and stews can be more tricky but if you carefully weigh or measure each ingredient including added water then enter each item into a calculator, it should give you a pretty accurate weight of one serving so you can just portion it out and weigh your amount.
Here is the link to the spark calculator. You will have to register to use it
http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-calculator.asp