Well, first of all, I'm semi-new again, coming back after completely falling off the wagon and gaining 5 lbs more than where I first started.

And that info is relevant, because it has to do with my question. Do you get discouraged when you hear statistics about, basically, how rare it is for people to lose weight and KEEP IT OFF? Or facts that say that the majority of people end up gaining it all back, and then some (like me)?

And if so, what motivates you do keep fighting to "defy the odds"?

I could ask this in the maintenence forum I suppose, but I wanted to get insight from people here who are still in progress, especially since we all have such a LONG way to go. The task is daunting enough as it is, but sometimes with such dismal statistics of success, even for people who don't have as much weight to lose as I do, it gets me down. I start thinking negative things to myself like "Who am I kidding?" or "What makes me think I'm so special to be in that 5 or 10%?"

So just wondering what you do to get rid of those thoughts. I really truly don't want to think like that, but I tend to rationalize everything.

And also, serious question, what do you think you're doing or have that the rest of the majority might not have, that will lead to success? Are you a determined person in other aspects of life? Do you make it an obsession? Self affirmations? Hoping you have good genetics? What IS that special "something"?

I think about it just about every day!!!!
And even though I've been doing good in the past 2 years, sometimes I think I won't be able to carry it on for good...
But then, I just try to get the thoughts of it out of my mind and keep going, one day at time.
And why could I NOT be the one in the 5 or 10%. It has to be someone, right??? and WHY NOT ME???
If I fell the wagon one day... I am right back in the next day... Nothing as a brand new day with a brand new attitude!!!

I'm a bit of a rebel, I love to beat the odds.
I already have in a lot of ways, been married to the same man for 18 years.

Well, I lost 120 pounds or so and have gained back over 30 pounds of it, so yes, I think about it! I've thought about it ever since I started.

The statistics are dismal, it's true. But rather than focus on the many who regain, maybe it would help to focus on the few who DO keep it off. What do they do? My sense is that they:
- know that they are making a lifestyle change, not just going "on a diet" they will go off when they lose the weight
- knowing that, they make changes they can stick to.
- they learn how to deal with stresses without going back to their "old ways."
- and they figure out how to get back ON plan if they do fall OFF...
- I'm sure there's more...

I think the statistics may be true, but that doesn't mean they are inevitable. I think people who approach this with the right outlook have a much greater chance of success. So, why can't that be me? Or you?

I've been trying to lose weight since I was 5 years old, and I've failed more than I've succeeded (in the past). I lived the statistics. I really think I failed just like nearly everyone else because I went about losing weight "just like nearly everyone else."

In my mid-twenties I found FA (Fat Acceptance) literature, and encountered the theory that dieting results in weight gain, rather than weight loss (it's sure been my experience). So for a while I vowed to not diet, and my weight didn't skyrocket. It stabilizied. I was afraid to try to lose weight, because in my experience dieting made me fatter, and refusing to diet did not. I wished that I had never dieted (and still wonder if I'd be nearly as overweight if I did not).

Then I started getting health problems and really didn't know what to do. Dieting didn't work for me (that is dieting the only way I knew how to do it).

I don't think I would have attempted dieting ever again, except that I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, and my doctors said I would probably lose some weight "without even trying." I chuckled at that, because I had never, ever experienced an unintentional permanent weight loss (the flu doesn't count).

Well, what do you know? I lost about 20 lbs without trying (and without noticing. I didn't even own the scale and I was six months between doctor's visits).

It made me realize that losing weight wasn't entirely impossible - but how to go about it? Certainly not "like I always did," because "if you do what you always do, you get what you always get."

I do not believe that "every diet works." I know that the cliche is "every diet works, if you work it," but many diets are so difficult that they're practically impossible. How to find a WOE that I could make permanent?

From the time I decided to "diet differently" about 4 years ago, I've not had a significant regain. My weight is moving consistently downward (a trend I'd never had in my life last more than 2 years. And even my no-diet vow (and no-gain/no-loss period) didn't last this long. So something is different.

80 lbs in 4 years, doesn't sound like success. But it's so different than what I used to experience, that I know I'm "onto something." I've been trying all this time to find the WOE that works for me, and I have found it (low-carb, the only WOE I never attempted for more than a few weeks - always giving up because I thought the diet wasn't healthy). Now, I've known for almost 2 years that low-carb, virtually no grain is the diet that I can physically follow and lose and manage myt weight. In fact, on low-carb eating I feel better, fewer health issues, and the crazy hunger disappears.

I was losing weight slowly (and not much at all in the last several months) because while I knew my best WOE, I couldn't accept it. I kept trying to find ways to make it not true (kept trying to find ways to include grains and other high-carb foods at least occasionally).

I've been thinking about it, talking about it, and I finally hit my turning point when I realized that learning to eliminate my problem foods entirely was going to be easier than trying to learn to incorporate them - so why was I even trying?

The book that helped me gain that realization was Dr. Barbara Berkeley in her book, Refuse to Regain!: 12 Tough Rules to Maintain the Body You've Earned!

The book changed my life, even though the information isn't new, it's just consolidated. Reading it, I wondered why I hadn't come to the same conclusions she did, much earlier in my experience, and I only can say that I was so busy trying to lose weight, that I never gave maintenance any thought. I never concerned myself with how I was going to keep the weight off.




I'm not discouraged any more by the statisitics. I can now see why diets have such a high rate of failure. Maintenance needs to be stressed from the beginning. It's the most fundamental thing I have changed. I vowed from the beginning that I would find a way to maintain every pound lost. Even when I felt like giving up, I told myself I could decide to stop losing, but I would not decide to accept regaining.

I think I can now beat the odds, because I've realized that I can't eat or diet like I did before. I can escape the fate of "nearly everyone else," by approaching weight loss in a way that isn't just unusual - it's revolutionary.

The idea of giving up grains entirely (or even 99% of the time) is a "crazy" idea by modern standards, maybe it's just crazy enough to beat the odds. I'm betting on it.

Colleen -- don't keep us in suspense... what are those 12 rules???

I have certainly ridden the diet roller coaster. I've also learned a lot about myself and what works for me and I seem to keep finding out new things. For example, I am also one of the folks who just can't eat a lot of starchy foods, even the whole grain or veggie-based kind.

I am also coming to the realization that I regularly regain in the winter. I now realize that has been caused in part by sleep problems which occur because of the lack of light. I have other issues with winter (which typically includes a vacation week or two and difficulty with walking, my choice of exercise).

I am working on a game plan for these issues, but the backup plan is just to work at (re)losing the weight that packs on in the cold months. I realize that in that past, when I didn't see the seasonal pattern, one of two things could happen: 1) I give up because I can't seem to maintain weight loss or 2) I would buy into the set point theory and think that I should accept those extra 10 lbs (except that the next winter, I would pack on another 10).

I have lived the statistics, but I don't dwell on them. I can only keep working the issues.

Sorry, this thread discusses the book, and lists the 12 rules.


http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/main...se-regain.html

belezura: My mom is notorious for having a "one day at a time" attitude, and she reminds me of that motto constantly. Thanks for reminding me too!
I've always had a feeling that I tend to overrationalize everything, and look at the big picture way more than the small things. I know that that can be a problem, because it's the whole reason I procrastinate with other areas of my life... I just get overwhelmed with the big picture.

sweetcakes736: 18 years, wow! Congrats! That really is beating the odds these days! My parents are divorced, so maybe that's partially why I'm just a little cynical and try to be "realistic" with expectations. Unfortunately, being realistic usually = failure, so maybe people like me need to believe in things more.

Heather: Thank you! Very helpful info! I'm still a relative newbie. My ride has been one up and one down, so it's not the roller-coaster a lot of people have been through. I still need to experiment more to find out what I can actually stick to, but it's hard. I feel like I'm overcoming an addiction to bad food and I'm not sure what to do. I tried being "reasonable" last time and allowing myself all the things I've always loved in "moderation", but moderation didn't seem to work. I'd always crave more and more and then give in.

Kaplods: Thank you SOO much for sharing your experience! 80 lbs in 4 years is definitely something to be proud of. You didn't gain, and you didn't even maintain. You lost. Which is what counts. At least the one thing good about having a realistic mentality is I'm not caught up in the fairytale that weight just flies off fast, for most people. I've accepted it's going to be a slow slow slow process, and I'm ok with that. I don't have anyone to impress in a hurry. I'm not at risk of dying tomorrow. So I don't mind.

The challenge I feel like I have to overcome is my own belief in myself. When you have such a lousy track record, like being a full grown adult and STILL not able to just kick such an easy habit like biting my nails, I worry what my chances are of kicking a whole slew of bad habits related to my weight. Everyone always says you have to WANT it THAT badly. I wondered if maybe that's the secret. Maybe I just don't want it enough. But that's ridiculous. I do want it. I worked my butt off for several months. Everything was going great! I was making slow but steady progress. And then... for some reason, I just let all my awareness go. I skipped a day of counting calories, told myself it'd be ok, I'd make up for it the next day. But then I skipped again. And again. And again. I stopped cooking/trying new things. Etc. And I look back and want to ask myself what I was thinking! But that's just it. I wasn't thinking. And I'm not sure why.

I heard somewhere that if you implement a good habit in place of a bad one, for at least 28 days, it becomes permanent/second nature. That just doesn't seem to be the case with me. It seems like I require CONSTANT self-vigilance. I always have to think of new ways to FORCE myself to be aware of what I'm doing, all the time. It's like literally NEEDING an alarm clock to wake up at the same time every morning, every day, for the rest of your life... instead of your body eventually getting used to that sleep rhythm and taking care of itself. That's how I feel about my body and my awareness and my hunger. It can never become second nature for me. Maybe I just have to accept that.

yoyoma: You seem to be really self-aware of your own rhythm. That's excellent! Knowing is half the battle, right? I'm not sure if I know what set point theory is... is that the idea that your body just wants/needs to be at a certain weight, and will resist any change contrary to that? If so, that's another thing that worries me. Ack! For 99% of my life, I've never done anything but slowly gain gain gain, so who knows what that weight is for me.

"yoyoma: You seem to be really self-aware of your own rhythm. That's excellent! Knowing is half the battle, right?"

Actually, I'm pretty clueless. I'm 48 and unless I am tracking, Aunt Flo's visit still takes my by surprise each month. You'd think it would take fewer than five decades to figure out how my body works but I keep finding out new things. Now that I've figured out what a bear winter is, I guess I should factor that into account for retirement plans!

"I'm not sure if I know what set point theory is... is that the idea that your body just wants/needs to be at a certain weight, and will resist any change contrary to that? If so, that's another thing that worries me. Ack! For 99% of my life, I've never done anything but slowly gain gain gain, so who knows what that weight is for me."

Well, the lesson I've learned is that I should *not* pay attention to that theory. My difficulty turns out to be primarily seasonal. If I accept the extra winter weight, that only sets me up for failure because winter rolls around again and again. My own feeling on the set point theory is that even if one's body *is* used to some range, work to get it used to a new range if that isn't the range you want.

Like diet statistics, I think it's counterproductive to dwell on the "set point theory" if it discourages finding ways that work for you to reach your own goals.

I don't think it's the case for many people. I've been doing this almost 5 years, and certain parts of it have gotten easier, certainly. Automatic even? Yes, to a degree. Second nature?? Not at all. Not with food and certainly not with exercise. I have to MAKE myself exercise. I have to consciously turn down food I don't want (but do). I struggle a lot. Some days are better than others...

In the quest to lose weight, something that almost never crosses my mind is how I'm going to live when/if I reach my goal weight, or close enough to it that I'm happy with it.

I was just reading some statistics from the National Weight Control Registry, which is a registry of that small group of people who actual DO lose the weight and actually maintain it.

According to the NWCR, to keep the weight off, 90% exercise, on average, about 1 hour per day.

Let me say that again. ONE HOUR per day. Right now, I exercise for about 15 minutes every few days (baby steps).

Also, from what I gathered from the Maintenance forum, apparently, with the roller coaster ride losing weight puts your metabolism through, it's not uncommon for maintainers to need to eat 10-15% LESS than other people at their same weight need to eat, just to keep it off. For the rest of their life.

So it just occurred to me that it takes a lot more than commitment to LOSE the weight, but you also have to be willing to commit to THAT afterwards. Can I? Can you? That's a HUGE lifestyle change and sacrifice to make. I'm hoping that by taking baby steps, I can live up to that.

-If you think about it 5 or 10% of people is A LOT of people that are sucessful. Who cares how small the percentage is.

- A lot of it is setting up your environment for success. Give yourself the tools. For me signing up for races is great motivation to keep going. (yes this is my 1+hr of exercise... in my case it ends up being 2+ but I'm training for races)

- There is nothing SPECIAL about someone who maintains. They maintain because they don't stop. They don't give up. Even if you slip up a few days... a week... whatever as long as you get back on track and catch yourself you'll be fine.

I do think about the stats, and sadly I WAS/am a statistic. I started at 265 and got down to 110/120. This weight was way too low for me, and I frankly had developed an eating disorder. I was eating 500 calories a day max, and purging most of those 500 calories. I maintained this low weight (with some fluctuations and with the eating disorder) for five years. Of course, I had a lot of medical issues related to the eating disorder at this time and there was no way I could have maintained this "lifestyle". Then I started gaining. Got up to 250ish again. I was jogging 25 MILES A WEEK every single week as I gained 150 lbs. I tried to overcome disordered eating issues (in other words, I stopped purging and tried to eat three normal meals a day). Sometimes I'd binge and not purge - which definitely helped me pack on pounds. Ended up at 307. Two babies later I was around 350. I'm a recovered bulimic's worst nightmare... yeah, my own worst nightmare, in fact.

For me, my fear is that I can't lose weight without extreme measures. I can't maintain a weightloss without extreme measures, and even then I can gain it back.

Statistics definitely scare me. But the numbers that scare me even more are my high blood pressure numbers, and my cholesterol is almost into the high range now too. Regardless of my weight, I've got to get healthy.

I try to focus on NSVs - although I don't think I'll ever stop obsessing on the number on the scale. So, yeah, I do worry about the statistics but I can't allow myself to have a defeatist attitude. I have to believe that my life is worth fighting for.

For me (and I hope that when I get to the point of maintenance my mindset remains), I don't look at what I am doing right now as only dieting, because that something that isn't forever, ergo is is something that can be stopped (which would lead to weight gain). Yes, right now I am very strictly counting calories, but in doing so I am learning appropriate portion sizes, and learning which food is high calorie, vs what I can get away with eating a lot of. I am rethinking food, what food means to me, how much I need to eat vs how much (and what) I just WANT to eat.

I think I was brought up in a household - and society -that looks at food as more than sustenance (My entire family turns to food comfort, to ease boredom, and as a source of entertainment). I was never taught that "you are what you eat".

Additionally, I had no idea that all those skinny people that you see stuffing their faces will eat light the next few days and maybe exercise more to make up for the splurge. This was a revelation! I thought that everyone stuffed face day in and day out, like I did since that was all I ever saw. I thought I was broken and hence never really tried to lose weight as I figured it was a lost cause.

So, with all of this in mind (and I realize this was a completely circuitous response to the original query) the way I am going to defy the odds is that I am going to use my noggin with all this knowledge I now have and I am not going to let the bad habits I was raised with get in the way of what I intellectually know is just plain wrong.

I have lost 100+ pounds 3 times in my life. I even kept the weight off for 7 years at one point. So I know the ups and downs of weight loss and gains and what it takes to maintain.

I learned that it takes the same amount of work to maintain my weight as it does to lose it. I still have to monitor what I eat on a daily basis. I learned that even at a normal weight, I can't eat like others can. I still have to eat small. I learned that I had to find practical alternatives to self soothing that did not revolve around food.

I ignore statistics. They mean nothing to me personally. I will be a success this time because I no longer willing to waste any more of my adulthood to obesity. Therefore, I accept that what I have to do to lose it and more importantly what I must do to stay there. Hard, but worthwhile work.