Hi all

I just found (lost it for 2 months) my notebook where I've written my weight for the last 9 years. It reminded me of the other time where I've lost a significant (at least 30 pounds) amout of weight and gained it back, plus some. The losing part, evidently, I can do. It's the maintaining, or getting all the way down to goal weight.

I just looked at my most recent attempt, where I started at 225 in Nov 2007 and was at 199 in Aug 2008. I went from 195 - 199 for 5 months. Then on Jan 9, 2009 I was 200.4, By Mar 13 I was 207.4, by Aug 5 234.2, until finally my highest weight ever of 243.6 last Nov.

Why, why, why did I do this? How do I keep myself from doing it again? I honestly thought that the last time I was not on a diet but a "new lifestyle".

Sorry this is so long and whiny, I'm feeling a little defeated. A good swift kick in the butt will probably help.

Kristy

my theory on losing the weight this time...is that losing is a side effect from making positive changes in my eating and activity levels that are FOREVER. small changes gradually losing 1-2 lbs a week and building life-long habits.

yeah people can lose 80 lbs quickly, but have they learned new habits?

its a marathon, not a race.

Good Luck girl! you can do it

What happened between August 2008 and January 2009? Were there life events that you let take you off your plan? Did you get tired and slack off?

And what happened in January 2009 once you saw you were over 200? Did you try to get back on weight loss? Were you unsuccessful in staying with it?

If you can identify what was going on, and what your mental state was, you may be closer to figuring out what happens.

Jay

I have the same pattern. What you MUST do is commit to seeing it through really and forever. I knew this time I could not enter in a weight loss effort willy nilly because if I just up and quit, I WILL weigh 245 when all is said and done. I have no doubt because that is my pattern.

What I did this time was give myself a one year commitment, because randomly "getting to goal" obviously wasn't working for me. I never made it to goal and I did not understand then that one can maintain any loss. It doesn't have to be goal.

So for one year, I am on plan every single day. Through every holiday, every up, every down, every stall, I am giving this 100% every single day for one year. Once that year rolls around, I have no doubt I will be firmly entrenched in this new life style.

First, please don't be discouraged! For me, that discouraged "it's not worth it" feeling kept me morbidly obese for almost twenty years. I felt like there was no point in trying because I would always gain it back...

I don't feel that way anymore.

I think the big difference for me was sticking with it long enough that it REALLY made a difference. Thirty pounds is a lot and a HUGE achievement, but for us 100 lbers, it's discouraging. You lose more weight than an average person will ever lose in a lifetime and yet, obviously, there's so far to go.

I like Eliana's idea of sticking with it for a year. Another idea would be to stick to it until you reach at least the half-way point. There is a snowball effect that occurs-- you start buying new clothes and getting lots of compliments and you start being able to do all kinds of things you couldn't do before, and going back seems harder and harder to imagine.

It's like you're on a long hike and you start to get tired-- for a while, it's tempting to turn around and to home, but when you're more than halfway there, you realize that the finish line is closer than where you started.

You can definitely do this!!!

I do agree with Robin and JayEll. You first figure out why you seem to have this pattern. Until you get unscared of being a normal weight, of moving through the world as one of the average weight people, there's more to it, than just making a decision. For me, it was realising ALOT of really crappy things happened to me when I was normal/under weight. Then, I made the decision, the choice to let ME be me and not let me be the me other people actions had encouraged me to be. I hid behind my weight. I used it as a shield. I decided to stop and made peace with those people, at least as much as I could, in my own mind and took back the control to ME.

Maybe you want to sit down and figure out what number terrifies you. I still find <200 a bit scary but you know what? YOu can only fear what you dont know and I plan on knowing the <200 me, for the rest of my life

Great post. I second this 100%. I think this is the attitude that will end yo-yo dieting.

I agree with Robin and JayEll.

I dieted for more than 20 years. I lost weight, gained it back. Gained more. Lost it, gained it back, etc.

This last time, I sat down and and really really thought about why I could lose weight and never keep it off. Although this seems pretty obvious, I discovered that I always lost weight when I dieted, and gained weight when I stopped dieting.

My lightbulb moment - I had to start and never stop.

Since it had to be FOREVER, I couldn't do anything awful, or yucky or non sustainable. It had to be foods I liked, that fit my lifestyle, that kept me satisfied.

Once I figured that out, well...it will be 6 years in July and I have never stopped. I'm living my dream - a healthy slender woman who looks great in clothes, fabulous in pictures. It was in my power all along and it was easier than I thought it would be.

I'm still the exact same person, I still loooooove food. I'm lucky enough, I love food so much, that love extends to healthy foods. For example - is greek yogurt with fresh blackberries "better" than a great big scone? I don't know, but the greek yogurt is a yummy breakfast I can look forward to eating.

That pretty much sums up my approach to weight loss. Like the food, look forward to eating it, eat foods with powerful nutritional properties, avoid foods with limited nutritional benefits, watch portion sizes. Forgive myself if I eat off plan and get RIGHT BACK on plan.

Easy and sustainable!

I understand because I have the same fear. This time I vowed it would be different. I accepted that I would have to weigh, measure, and log my food for the rest of my life. I decided that I would not do anything that I did not think that I could do for the rest of my life. That meant no fad diets but instead, diet and exercise that I could continue doing.

Basically, what the ladies said above. I am not afraid any more. There are people here that have shown me that it can be done. Most of them have posted to this thread!

I agree - it's not a diet but life changes you have to be willing to do for the rest of your life. It's not going to be easy but I think we can change and learn to live and be ok.

I will be rooting for ya!!

This is alot of how I am feeling. I used to say....ugh...I have to weigh & measure, plan and include movement the rest of my life. I would think it's impossible. Now..I am working on thinking - gosh is that all I must do to be healthy, have movement, better life, and a healthier weight. It's kind of a perspective thing. (of course, I don't love it every minute...but, it's a means to a wonderful end)

The key for me is willingness to find a plan I can live with. No quick fixes in this and work at. I just can't let my head go there....that I'll gain it back. I will not do it again.

I am working on tatooing all this on my brain!

thank you, thank you, thank you!

thank you all for taking the time to answer and give me such wonderful advice. I appreciate it so much. I printed out this thread, read it again, and highlighted stuff that really resonated in me. It's almost all highlighted, in fact.

I've been thinking about all this, and I think the last time, though I thought I was making lifestyle changes, I don't think I was. I modified my diet, and added exercise, but when push came to shove and my job got busy in Jan 2009 (50-60 hrs per week) and stressful, the emotional eating that I did NOT address came back and the exercise went out the window. For me, lifestyle changes are going to have to include the way I deal w/ my job, the hours I work, my sleep, etc. I'm also thinking about what the things I think will be issues in my new, healthy life at a healthy weight. Putting myself first, making sure I have time for healthy eating and exercise while around my family. Others might say they are okay with it now, but will they really be? What if I don't pizza tonight hubby? What if I do need to find a hotel w/ a gym when we go on vacation hubby? What if I do need to find time to exercise when I'm on a trip with you Mom? I feel they want me to be healthy, but not if it inconviences them. Hopefully, that's just my goofy unrealistic fear and not reality.

A brand new me is coming!

again, thanks so much.