Ok, call this a vent or whatever but sometimes I just don't get people!!

I have told this story several times but here is the short version...About a month ago I got a call from Curves and was told that my name had been drawn for a free week. This was also the same time that I was on vaca in Pigeon Forge with DH. The thing was that I didn't enter my name, my cousin did! I could bring a friend so my mom and I decided to go. When I saw the pics that we had taken on vaca, I also decided that it was time to do something!! Scary ugly pics! I had no idea I had let myself go that bad!

Anyway, we have decided to join and I have decided with God's help, to take control of my weight!! Ever since then, My cousin and her mom have been bringing all kinds of stuff over here, pizza, wings, candy (mostly chocolate!!) My mom and I have repeatedly asked them not too but it appears to offend. My cousin stays with us quite a bit and she admitted the other day to being an enabler! SHE'S THE ONE WHO EVIDENTLY THOUGHT I NEEDED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!

She was here the other day and I was going to Curves and had a free one day pass so I took her with us. It was irritating to watch her just work those machines and look at me like, what's so hard about this! Although she only weighs about 150 lbs but still. You would think that if she thought I needed to lose weight, she would help instead of trying to hurt!! She finally decided to hula hoop until we were done!!

It just irritated me!! I don't have time for enablers!! You can either support me and try to help or stay away from me, period!! I am tired of losing 15 or 20 lbs. and giving up. I think the most I have ever lost in one try was about 40 or 50 lbs. I have farther to go this time and I intend to do this to the end!!

Thanks for "listening"

Ignore them and if your cousin keeps doing what she is doing, tell her to stay away from you until she can support you. I feel for you, I really do. I have alot of weight to lose also and I have let it go before after losing like 10 lbs or so, I am in this til the end and I do not need anyone who won't support me. Thankfully I am fully supported but I am sure there are many who think I will fold and be the overweight person I have always been.

Do they expect you to eat this food in front of them? What's up with this?

In your shoes, I'd say "Oh, thanks! But I have my (lunch dinner) planned already. I'll save it for tomorrow so I can work it into the plan."

Then give it away or throw it out after they leave. If they aren't listening to your requests to just not bring it, and insist on bringing you food gifts you cannot use... hey, it's your gift. Totally yours. You can do what you want with it. Including throwing it out!

Whether her intent is actual sabotage or not... cousin being around clearly bugs you. Try to minimize cousin being around and don't take her to your gym any more. It sometimes can't be helped with relatives, but don't look for extra time with her either.

Some people you can't change. You can only change how YOU react to their crazy.

A.

I this line. I might have to borrow it. It's going to come in handy in so many places in my life

Glad it helps!

A.

It's VERY important to stay focused on what you need to do and ignore everyone else and what they say and what they do. As difficult (& challenging) as that may be at times, that is what is needed. It's what you must do for you. It's for you own good. STAY FOCUSED ON YOUR DREAMS. On your convictions, on your desires and your goals.

The ONLY way you can't get to your goal is if you stop before you get there.

No stopping. Just continuing. Seeing it through. There is no reason on earth why you can't shed each and every excess pound from you. You've got the ability to do this. You hold the key. It's in your hands. Customize a plan, suited for you, tweaking as need be. Make it your own. Embrace it. FIND new and healthy foods to incorporate into your life - forever. Get excited about the changes you are about to make. Transform your life. Stand back and be prepared to be blown away.

I hate when people try to force feed me!!! I look at the food gift then look giver in the eye and say "will you feel better if I eat this". Then move food out of arm reach and change subject.

Do NOT put up with this.

Why do relatives & close family do this with food? Why? Why? They all suddenly become providers, like each of them is a mother robin bringing a worm to the nest. And we're supposed to just gape open our beaks & swallow it unquestioningly.

You've set out to eat healthily & change your life. You are doing well. You don't need to eat their crummy food. Think about what the equivalent would be if this happened in other areas of your life, like career & relationships:

- You're seeing a handsome man who loves you & respects you & has a good career going. Your cousin brings over unemployed alcoholic losers & expects you to date them instead.
- You're in an Ivy League school, studying hard, getting good grades & passionate about your major. You have a full scholarship, too. Your cousin keeps sending you e-mail about online university credentials or tries to get you to enroll in a shady local computer skills school instead or forwards e-mails on how to make millions working from home through a Nigerian connection.

Yeah, right. You wouldn't take your cousin's lousy advice in these other areas. The air of sabotage & her obvious cluelessness regarding the true state of your life would be obvious. So think about this when she is pushing crummy food.

I got this advice from my weight loss therapist. People who try to sabotage your weight loss efforts are STEALING YOUR GOOD HEALTH. The first time they bring over food explain very nicely that you are on a strict healthy eating plan and that it would help if they did not bring over any food at all. Be very clear about NO FOOD AT ALL. After that you do not have to worry about hurting their feelings. Just tell them you can not accept any food and to please take it back with them and eat it themselves or give it to someone else. My therapist said that if you politely say NO that any hurt feelings are not your fault.

Good luck. Remember that you deserve to lose weight and be healthy. Don't let anyone take that away from you.

I could see weight loss being difficult if your spouse was a real problem (enabler, against it, not supportive, etc.) Pretty much anybody else and IMO you're allowing drama where there doesn't need to be any. Ignore it if you can, and if you can't confront it and either avoid that person or tell them to what the deal is.

We all have dozens of personal barriers to weight loss that are different for each of us and this is simply another one, treat it the same way as you would any other.

I would TRY to offend them... personally.. they are being disrespectful by bringing food over.

I would pick it up, and while looking them square in the face, throw it out in front of them.

but then I'm kinda of a b**** like that.

Okay. I think I have the winning solution. Next time they bring food over, just dump it all into a sack, whatever size is required. Then tie the sac to one of their backsides or waists. Tell them that you want to help too, so you want to make it easy for them to carry around the extra weight instead you carrying it around. I am positive they will bew offended, but I bet you will get your point across. Best of luck, and you just hang here with the fat chicks until we're all skinny peeps.

Barb

There are diet saboteurs all around us. We must not let them get away with this. When they insist on giving me food I don't want, when they won't take no for an answer I tell them I'll save it for later and then I either give it away or throw it away. If that doesn't work after trying it a few times I would pour bleach on it in front of them and throw it out. Sometimes we have to fight fire with fire.

This right here. Actually, it even applies to spouses and other people actually living in the household, as well. "Oh honey, you brought bacon ice cream home for me, even though you know that I'm not eating that kind of thing right now. That's very sweet of you. I'm not going to eat it. But I do appreciate that you were thinking of me!"

Unless they are physically holding you down and shoving the food in your mouth, no one can sabotage you without your permission.

This happens to me too with my family. My husband wants to bake all of a sudden...I asked him not to because it's too tempting for me. He didn't quite understand why it was such an issue for me. Anyway, I have learned to deal with it and arm myself with lots and lots of will power. It helps that he doesn't have time to bake right now...lol.