I still go for the handicapped bathroom stalls out of habit. I suppose they are more comfortable.
I still wonder if I can fit into a chair with arms. I know I will but the thought still passes through my mind. Strange how that works.
I still worry that I am squishing my boyfriend's lap when I sit on him. He wonders why but I don't. It's only been a year+ that I've been at this weight vs. 43 years of fighting my weight issues.
I still worry that I have gained weight or look fat if I eat something off my plan or don't exercise for a while, etc. even when the scale tells me different.
I still have days I wish I would blend into the crowd. On those days I don't wear make up, sport a baseball cap and sweats. It works, for the most part.
BUT so much has changed in the last 2 years....
I wanted and didn't have love. Now, I have all I wanted and so much more! My honey and I are going on a year together.
If you knew me and my past history with men, you would marvel at that fact! 
I wanted to feel thin and have that, most days.
I wanted to return to college and finish my degree, now I'm doing that and, so far, I'm doing well.
I wanted to know what it was like to try clothes on and not have to worry about my stomach and how it looked in them. Now I like how I look in most things. (not a good thing for my budget though.
) I wanted to know how it would be not to stick out in a crowd. Now, most of the time, I'm ok with the fact that sometimes when I walk in a room, people stare.
I wouldn't ever want to trade a bad day in my life now for the best of days I had before surgery.
Life is as it should be....appreciated....finally, I can see that.
Angela
