Hi,
I'm new on this forum. I'm struggling so badly and I'm very depressed. I need help. I lost 50 lbs, which was great until I gave myself permission to indulge on too many foods, and now I'm close to the fat-track again. I know what to eat and how much, the problem is that I can't seem to even be able to treat myself to some of my fav foods, because I don't know when to stop. I binge. I'm fine as long as I don't eat all the things that get me (food) high, or satisfy that craving. I don't want to live my life like this. I want to be able to enjoy my fav foods without losing control, but I don't know how. Should someone like me just never indulge...like an alcoholic that should never drink?

Hi MaryElizabeth -

You ask a very interesting question, one that people here won't even agree on. Some people do find that they need to avoid their "trigger foods", just like a drug addict. Others do that for a time, then add those foods back in slowly and see if they trigger overeating behaviors. Most people DO have to give up their trigger foods for some time, to break the craving cycles they cause. Some of those people have to give them up more or less permanently. It's very much a "your mileage may vary" situation...people find that they can control different amounts of indulgence.

But really, even if your favorite foods as you prepare them now give you triggery cravings, you may be able to modify them in such a way that you solve the craving without setting off the binge cycle...replacing a chocolate bar, for example, with a chocolate dipped strawberry, which has fewer calories and a lot more fiber to blunt the impact of the sugar. Or you can find other flavors that satisfy the same craving without being unhealthy...I can solve the worst greasy taco binge craving with a big salad with lean ground beef, one baked corn tortilla, grilled veggies, and a sour-cream based dressing. You get the idea!

I'm glad you're here. No matter where you fall in your ability to reintroduce trigger foods, you'll find people here who are exactly the same way.

Can't wait to get to know you better!

Hi MaryElizabeth,

I think it might also help if you don't put too much pressure on yourself in the sense that you need to stick to your diet "all the time".

When you push yourself hard, you're inclined to indulge whenever you do allow yourself a 'treat' (or 'cheat').

You're then inclined to think: "oh what the heck, I've 'sinned' now anyway, I might as well go overboard." And when you do that, you might think: "Well, there's no use in following the plan now anymore."

What works better for me is sort of 'strategic planning' for treating myself.

I wrote a post earlier today somewhere else on this forum with some things that I've learned about the way (I think) the body works and how such 'strategic cheating' may actually work in your favor when it comes to long-term fat loss...

If you're interested, you can read that post for my rationale behind that. The thing is that I'm pretty new here, so I'm not allowed to post links yet.

It's in the 'general diet plans and questions' section as a reply to the post "how important is it to eat all your calories".

But anyway, that way you're not pressuring yourself so hard, and it's 'mentally' easier to stick to a longer-term plan, while still 'physiologically' ensuring the results that you might not even have if you just stick to your diet all the time.

So you don't actually have to feel guilty, but you can just enjoy it and feel good about it.

Anyway, that's just something that I found out over the years, and that's still working well for me...

Good luck!!

- Hannah

Hi Mary Elizabeth. I just got here (to this forum) too, but I know exactly what youre talking about. For me its chocolate and any kind of dairy products.. I find the only way to deal with it is just not to have any of it in the house, then I cant eat it. Its tough for a week, but the less I eat of it the less I crave it. The problem is having one chocolate bar restarts the craving cycle. Maybe one day I can eat that stuff without problems, but for now I am pretty sure I just shouldnt. Probably you have that feeling yourself too. The hardest part for me is getting past the cravings. What Mandalinn said makes sense - finding something else. For me, mostly, I drink a lot of coffee. Probably thats also just as bad for me! But its also when I get a choc craving, I drink strong coffee with a bit of milk in it and it gets me past the craving. So I dont do this every day all the time.... I also now go for the fruit bowl,, I figure that even though I dont really feel like an apple (because what I feel like is chocolate) at least it gives my mouth something to chew on, and by the time in fact that I have finished the apple I find that I am quite happy to be eating it, and I no longer crave the choc... Then I also feel pretty proud of myself for making a good decision :-)

Also, I follow the Weight Watchers programme, and I allow myself a couple of nice, sweet cookies with my afternoon coffee (at the low time of day for me). That still comes within my points allowance, I make sure they are not chocloate cookies, and I feel like I have a treat still and a quiet time in the afternoon for a coffee and cookie - relax time :-)

I hope you find your own ways to deal with it, I know exactly what you mean with the bingeing thing, once you get started the craving for me is overwhelming. But keep working on it, I'm sure you will find your way to get through it.

Hi Mary Elizabeth. I'm pretty new here too and just starting on the adventure. I am finding that what works for me is to make sure I know I actually can have anything I want...and then I make sure it fits in my calorie/fat plan. I actually schedule chocolate into my week, and knowing that on Friday and/or Saturday I can have something choc, I make it through the other days just fine. I don't go get a big box of anything and have it in the house. If it's here, i'll eventually cave and eat it. But hubby get off work early on friday night and goes to Wendy's and we have the 99 cent frosty, which is like 167 cal and 4 g fat. It isn't a diet buster and it does give me something that feels indulgent. I also have a mud pie thingy from hungry girl that is positively sinful in flavor but again, not a diet buster at 250-something cal and 5 g fat. Sometimes I'll have that instead of the small frosty and sometimes my meals for the day are low, so I can indulge twice in the same week. I also make sure I eat stuff I like for my meals and sancks. I don't feel deprived, so there's no need to keep eating. Food is NOT inherently bad, so for me, I just make it work so I can have chocolate sometime during the week and it's easier to stick to the non-jun the rest of the time. It may or may not work that way for other peopel, but you might give it a try. Regardless, hang here with us and we'll all work together and be skinny (and healthy) chicks.
Barb

Hi everyone!
I'm so touched. All of you have been very helpful and kind. I think I'll have to remove my trigger foods from my daily menu for awhile. I've tried giving myself permission to have a treat now and again, but I really feel like the alcoholic that has "just one" drink. It gets so bad that when I'm off the food wagon I will drive into the city (30 minutes away) & fill my grocery basket with candies, cookies & cakes, corn dogs, frozen pizza, chips, sodas and etcetera. Then when I get home I will pretty much devour everything until my stomach is in pain from overload. I won't answer the door or the phone while I binge, which is really weird...don't know why I do that. My last binge was just recently and now I'm going through withdrawals...I mean I literally feel my body trying to get rid of all the junk I put into it. I'd like to eventually learn to treat myself on occasion, but right now I just don't know how. You're right ambpure, I do put a lot of pressure on myself to not fail. I don't handle failure too well, which is silly, because I'm far from perfect. I really do know all the foods (and exercise) my body needs in order to stay fit & healthy, but the caving & bingeing is what ruins it for me. I'm so glad that I found this forum! Knowing that I can have discussions with others that really understand where I'm coming from is going to help me tremendously. Thanks all of you for your loving council.

ME