ok I just went to the funeral of a coworkers 25 year old son. When I came back to work I had such a horrible headache I ate a snickers and drang a diet dr pepper! Why did I do this? I don't feel any better!!! And it didn't make me feel better while I was eating it!!!! Damn't!!!!

Forgive yourself for it, and get back on track...Funerals make you do crazy things.

Healthy people who eat something "off plan" briefly regret their choice, then go right back to healthy eating again. They also don't beat themselves up for it. It was a moment, that's all.

Maybe you could practice making a big deal for every good choice you make, appreciate everything you do that's good.

Don't kick yourself over it. You're aware of it. You have the rest of the day to compensate. Make the rest of the day good!

Forgive yourself, don't attach your emotions to this one moment. If you're really struggling with guilt and/or shame, throw in some extra exercise over the next few days to balance it out.

Forget and move on.

It made me laugh that you're paralleling the whole AA thing... my name is Laura, and I'm a foodaholic. I needed a chuckle today, so thanks. Like everyone said, take stock of what happened, then forgive yourself an move on to the next choice, which will be a better one! That's what I'm working on doing, though it's not always easy.

Heart hunger?

Would make sense to me since you were just at a funeral. Probably feeling down.

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/ma...ticlekey=56502

Don't beat yourself up over it. Just get back on track.

Please extend my sympathies to your coworker too -- losing a child at any age is rough on the parent. You typically expect it the other way, not you being the one outliving your kids.

A.

Hi sweetie,
So you hit a bump, it is okay, life is full of detours, up and downs, but remember everyday is a new day with a new beginning. Your new day starts now.

Hugs love and blessings,
Ags

~We have all had our candy bar moments & funerals are so dang depressing~
I agree with everyone else..just forgive your self & forget about it & move on.HUGS!!!

I think it was "The End of Overeating," that I was recently reading, in which it was mentioned that when stressed, even lab rats reach for fat/sugar/salt (if they're given a choice).

We're not lab rats, and we not only have choices - we have choices ABOUT our choices, but understanding how the "natural choice" isn't always the best choice, is a power that is uniquely human. Anytime we're on "autopilot" though (as in times of stress), we're more likely to revert to "instinctive" behavior (that might have kept our ancestors alive, but now it's killing us). I think though it's important to acknolwedge how "natural" the behavior is (a candy bar isn't natural, but the preference for a candybar is so natural that even "dumb" animals will choose it over "real" food, and even more so under stressful conditions). There's no reason to beat yourself up for allowing instinct to override common sense, it's just more reason to "outsmart" the animal part of our brain.


Sometimes it's easier to make the choice, if we can set up the environment to make the choice for us (keeping trigger foods out of the house make it harder to reach for them when stressed). If you're living in a house with others that can be more difficult, but keeping "your food" seperate from "their food" can help. I'm even considering getting a locking box for hubby's "treats" that are my trigger foods.

We're fighting our own natural impulses, and it's important to realize that the natural impulse isn't the problem, our very unnatural environment is. It's an endless battle, and I don't mean that it's hopeless, we just have to see ourselves as warriors (I call dibs on the Xena outfit).

Just count up the calories in that candy and move on.

kaplods I loved your comment!!!!!


and I agree. I suggest finding a plan where eating a candy bar doesn't put you off plan.. for example I calorie count.. I get to eat what ever I want! IN moderation AND only if i have enough calories saved or have planned a treat into my day! tonight for example I myself had a snickers bar! it was one of those 100 calorie candy bars that you can buy and I was perfectly on plan today and I don't regret eating it a bit

Grief can be such a hard thing.

Ok, so you ate a candy bar. You are human. Do you need to eat another one? Maybe, maybe not? Does it mean that tomorrow you will binge on fast food? No. Do you have to end your diet because you ate something unplanned? No.

Make time for you to heal and grieve---sometimes A candy bar hits the spot. It is just good to know that you don't have to have the next candy bar, and the one after that, etc.

((((hugs))))

I think it's also important to consider

1 candy bar and 1 soda usually = about 400 calories. That translates into a little more than 1 tenth of a pound, less than 2 ounces.

That means if you stay on plan, you will lose 2 ounces less than if you had not had the candy and soda.

Is 2 ounces really worth getting upset about?

The problem is that the socially appropriate response (what we've been taught to expect to do in reaction) to a diet slip of 400 calories, is to say "Damn, I blew it I might as well eat everything in the fridge," and then to proceed to eat everything in the fridge.

If you can say "ooh that slip is going to cost me 1/10th of a pound this week, better be careful not to make more."

And then if we have another slip, "ooph, that's going to cost me another (whatever fraction of a lb).


YES, it's important not to make lots of slips, but we have to keep each slip in perspective. Thinking that 400 calories "blows" our diet for the week, is just plain silly, but it's how we've been taught (by watching other people do it) to react to a slip.

An analogy I often use (and I can't take credit for inventing it), is of climbing a mountain - if you slip a few inches you don't throw yourself off the cliff - you stop yourself from falling as soon as you can, and you keep inching up that mountain.

Dieting is a slippery slope, and some of us slip more than others, but slipping may slow us down, but it doesn't have to prevent us from reaching the top.

But so often, it's not slipping that prevents us from reaching the top - it's deciding that the climb isn't worth it (and unfortunately often deciding to plunge to the bottom, rather than even maintain the distance we've climbed).

It seems so simple on one hand (we all know that the best response to a slip is not a massive weekend food bender - and yet that's what we often feel is inevitable). So often there's almost a compulsion to binge after the smallest of slips, so that we can "start fresh." That's crazy, we all know it's crazy, yet there's a twisted emotional logic to it (If I'm going to feel bad about myself, I might as well REALLY screw up, because I'm not going to give myself another chance to be imperfect EVER again).

Only that's not really possible, is it?

Forgive yourself and move on, IMMEDIATELY is a whole lot more practical, but we don't really see a lot of role models for that. It's the weight loss culture we've been raised in, and it's no easier to be a nonconformist in weight loss culture as it is in any aspect of culture. In fact, I think it's easier because there are a lot of role models for piercings and tattoos - but there aren't a lot of "successful dieter" role models (we often see the results, but not the day to day struggles of the process - in fact we're taught many times that it's "rude" to discuss).

That's where 3FC is such a godsend, there are so many good role models, we get to redesign our weight loss culture to what we know it should be - rather than the way we've experienced it up until now.