I'm back after probably about a month of omg stress that put me wayyy off track. I'm still not feeling 100 percent back, and the stress is still way up there but this last weekend I had an experience that while I was actually having fun, was at the same time humiliating and has me back here again.

At our church youth group, we played a reverse musical chairs thing. Basically, the chairs are taken away like usual, but no one can get out, you have to sit on each others laps if there is not a chair for you. It became obvious that it was a disadvantage to be a small person and sit down first and have a larger person sit on your lap.sooo while I was having a blast, I also was secretly humiliated because after a bit it was clear that I was the largest person there because guess who was eventually got picked to sit first almost every time? Yep, that'd be me.

I was becoming a regular here before all the stress started, and I am hoping that getting involved again can help reduce some of that stress too. So, help me out here...if you would. I need to get back in gear.

OMG! I hate those situations. I am sorry you had to go through that. Just get back on track, and soon enough they will only be a memory.

Sorry about how you feel. Sometimes a little Humiliation can be a good motivator. Just use it in a positive way.

I totally feel for you, Phoenix.

One time in gym class, I almost had to particpate in something that would have been really embarrassing. Everyone in class was instructed to line up into two parallel rows. We kneeled on the floor with these odd interlocking paddle-like things that were held about a foot from the ground. One by one, students had to walk across the paddles, and the only thing holding them up was the strength of the class. Luckily I was called down for a guidance appointment, so I got out of it in time. I'm sure they wouldn't have been able to hold me, and even if they could, they'd struggle. A lot.

I'm sorry you were put in that situation, but I'm sure the other members of your group didn't mean it maliciously. When I was younger I was always picked to be the anchor in the tug-of-war and things like that, but I didn't take it to heart. There was no stigma to being bigger, it was just a fact. They probably don't judge you for it--it was just the nature of the game. So there's no reason to feel humiliated, unless they actually said something snide, in which case they're not really your friends.

Im sorry hun! But maybe you can take this as motivation! And as for Stress, what is causing it? You have mentioned it a few times and clearly if if it that bad you really need to sit down and figure out how to get rid of it. Stress really can hinder weight loss.

Yeah I agree with this ,I really was having fun, it just at the same time felt like I was being singled out as THE biggest one. It just kinda got to me. As for motivation, I do want to get back on track. Today so far hasn't been good tho.

Oh absolutely and it has hindered it. Its really a long story...but the (rather long) basics are that the factors are mostly out of my control - in other words i cant really get rid of it that easily.

My sister has been having some health problems that kind of came up all the sudden, and she has also been going through some depression and other mental illness that has been very hard to deal with.

On top of that, my grandpa who has always been so witty and sharp minded is getting dementia/Alzheimers (they aren't sure) and started from mid January..at the time we thought it was a stroke that landed him in the hospital, but it eventually lead to a pacemaker and finally into a nursing home within the short time of 2-3 weeks. We thought maybe he would recover and his memory will be the same, but its slowly becoming obvious that he probably never will..

meanwhile my mom has been spending most of her time trying to figure out his estate since she has POA and has been away from home the most I can ever remember..and her brother is trying to get his hands on the money before the man is even dead. His wife has cancer, and his son, (my cousin) who I was good buddies with as a kid is getting himself in deep trouble with drugs and stuff.

At the same time my dads work is in an unstable situation. They keep changing hours and stuff.

Then there are the normal things, stressing out about college classes/finals etc coming up for me..

Since I am living at home I am around this stuff all the time, it just all really has made me fail at weightloss and has me pretty depressed to say the least.

Oh wow, I'm sorry to hear all of that! I truly believe in the power of positive thinking - try to focus on good things, which probably seems impossible now, but sometimes if you fake it, you really start to feel a little better.

& with your weight loss, sure, you went off track, but you should be proud of what you've accomplished so far. 21 pounds is a big deal!!