Hi Ladies, just looking for some words of encouragement, and I thought that this would be a great place to start.

Last fall, after 8 years of battling extra weight, the whole weight loss puzzle finally came together for me. I started eating right, going to the gym daily, and I became addicted to running (a shocker, because I had never even run a mile except when forced to during school years - never played a sport either). I lost 26 of the 45 lbs I wanted to lose as a goal. A lot of it was due to a fitness group that I joined at my local gym - the support was God sent. Anyway, I have three boys, 8 and twin 5 year olds who will be entering kindergarten this fall. Another child was not in the plan for me and my husband and I were very excited about the next stage of our life together.
Here I am now, 10 weeks pregnant, due in Sept, and although I know that this pregnancy is a blessing, I am having a very hard time with it. I feel left behind the rest of the fitness group, frustrated that I won't be running the marathon with them this spring, and actually pretty depressed overall - but I think that I hide it from most everyone. I was so close to having myself back. I know that I should still be going to the gym, but I think that my head is in the way. I just feel so down and like I don't want to see anyone. I am not eating well because I am so nauseous, so it's all carbs all the time. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I feel like such a bad person for it. I know that I will be glad once I meet this baby, but I would like to start feeling happier now. What if these feelings affect the baby in some way? I just have to get over it and see things for the blessing that they are, I know that. I'm trying really hard, but it's not taking yet and the longer I am away from the gym the more scared I feel to go back - or worse that I'll never go back.

Thanks for letting me go on and on. I wish all of you only the best.

Cindy,

My fourth baby is just three months old. I felt EXACTLy the same when I first found out I was pregnant because we weren't planning another one at that time. I had just started to lose weight from baby number three (finally I might add) when I became pregnant again. YES THE FEELINGS DO GET BETTER!!!!! I felt so terrible about them, I talked to the OB, as I was scared how it may affect the baby as well, and I have never really been a depressed person so it scared me. After all this was MY baby inside of me, why do I feel this way??? Take heart though, the feelings will lighten up as your pregnancy progresses- at least mine did. The moment my son was introduced into the world (finally!) I fell completely in love. I was once again captivated by the miracle of life. my precious gift from God. A powerful feeling of the woman, mother I truly am. I've been on cloud nine since the day he was born and have never been happier. Four is such a nice even number. My family finally seems complete. And the weight loss with baby number four has been easier than baby number 2 and 3. Baby number 1 was easy as well, but could've been an age thing at the time lol, and baby number 1 and 2 are only 11 months apart so maybe that's why number 2 was hard? Number three didn't come along until years later lol. If you need to talk let me know, I wish I had an outsider to kind of talk to at the time that knew how I felt and what I was going through, because at the same time the guilt was overbearing as well because of my feelings........
(((((BIG HUGS))))))))

Cyndy - you are in the right place for encouragement, and expressing your feelings to someone...anyone.. is a positive thing to do. You have to "let it all out" sometimes. Obviously you are depressed. Something to think about is whether you are depressed enough that you need to seek medical help. Some pregnant women do take antidepressants...if the need is great enough. Of course you would need to talk to your physician about that for the best medical advice. Journaling your feelings can lift the weight from you, too.

Another possible idea is to see if they offer pregnancy fitness classes or support groups at your gym or in your community. Lots of women excercise during their pregnancy and there are some good video workouts, too. You may know some other women who are pregnant that may be interested in forming a group of your own.

Another idea is to just STOP! Take a proactive stance. Take control back...even though you feel like you've lost your control. Stop feeling negative and look at the positives. Find your stengths and build on them. Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you are giving up. You can be pregnant and healthy, eat the right foods, watch out for those cravings, have a plan so that you don't gain the weight that you are scared of gaining. You are obviously a strong woman, who has had the control to lose 26 pounds. Don't abandon your plans...modify them. You can do it!!! Remember, happiness isn't a dress size...it's a state of mind supported by joy of having those who love you around you. One more person in your life to bring you happiness and share your love is on the way! That's exciting!

I hope this was helpful. You are not alone. I will say a little prayer for you, even though you don't know me...that never hurts either!

Thanks to both of you!

Crystal - It's so comforting to hear your experience. You make me feel like this is only a temporary state, and I can see that you are doing great with your weight loss after 4 and it helps to hear someone else validate the feelings that I am having. It's tough to explain to other people because I know that the feelings are unreasonable and, because they are so unreasonable, I am sure that they will pass. Thank you for your offer to talk - I may take you up on that!

Boatingmommy - Thanks for your encouragement. I am going to find out if a therapist or something of the sort is covered by my insurance, although I don't think I could take meds unless it got really bad. Having someone to talk it out with would probably be smart though. My gym doesn't have classes for pregnant woman specifically, but all of the instructors are really nice people and would certainly help me modify. Even just getting on the treadmill would be a step in the right direction, so I think that you are right when you say to just stop and get moving in the right direction. I have gone back and forth with that for weeks now - getting all psyched up to go, then finding a reason not to. It reminds me of the stages I went through before I became an avid exerciser and was trying to convince myself to just do it and lose the weight. You are right and I have to just go.

Thanks for all of your advice and encouragement!

cyndyjlo,

10 weeks is one of the most difficult times, as you already know. There is NOTHING WRONG with taking a break from working out during this time!

I have worked out with heavy weights on a daily basis for about 6 years, but from weeks 6-12, I couldn't step foot into the gym. PUKE! Once you hit your second trimester, you will be feeling better and feel very encouraged to get back in the game.

I had the exact same feelings as you do.
I lost 36 lbs and only needed 10 more to go. I was so excited to finally get back to my pre-engagement weight, I hadn't seen in 7 yrs.
dh and I had talked about having another child but since we felt as if we were on the fence about it we decided to not talk or think about it till July of this year. I had already made up my mind that I was done and that I wanted my body back. I didn't want to get pregnant again and waste all the effort I had made to lose this weight. I never told my dh but just kept it hidden in case I changed my mind later on or by July. But every time "Baby fever" kicked into gear, I would dismiss it saying "Do I really want to start all over again on losing this weight?"....."NO."
So you can imagine the shock of having another late period in a row. Wondering when this would end so I could get rid of the extra water weight and go on. I took a pregnancy test inn hopes that seeing a BFN would jump start my body to getting my af. But instead I was in complete shock when I saw the second line. I was trembling and kept rechecking because I thought it would go away but it only got darker.
Both dh and I were in complete shock. dh's attitude was "Well we can't say it wasn't planned, we were planning it just not this soon." Well my thoughts were different. But there was an excitement about another baby in the works but I couldn't shake the disappointment of forfiting my accomplishments.
At my first prenatal appt with my midwife, I broke down and told her how horrible I felt about my feelings regarding this pregnancy because I never felt this way about my other children. I told her this was the first time in my life that I made a choice to live a healthier life and lost all this weight and now I felt like I failed.
She told me to see this as another step or challenge in my journey to a healthier life. It didn't mean to give up my efforts but to go on and continue so that we end up with a healthy mom and baby.
I broke down when I heard my baby's heartbeat. I couldn't believe I felt such awful feelings about this precious child who was growing inside of me. He/she was not to blame.
I still continued to exercise but I switched it from jogging to a brisk walk. I still walk on my treadmill 1 hour to 30 minutes a day. and I watch my Calorie and Carb intake. I eat way more salads then I ever did with my other pregnancies.
I still have the lingering thoughts but I try to counteract them with the joy I'll experience when I give birth to the baby. Since its my last, I already let dh know that I'd like to catch him/her on my own. I think I owe it to myself and this precious baby to know that I was the first one to touch him/her as they came into the world.

Sacha - That makes me feel soooo much better. Would you believe that I actually dream about going to the gym every night? Getting there literally makes me want to puke too. I know that during my first two pregnancies I was among the lucky and the sickness did pass somewhere between weeks 12 and 14. Hearing that you skipped a few weeks as an experienced exerciser makes me feel a lot better. Thanks! I am sure that I will get back, I have to be patient. On the up side, I've been so sick that I haven't gained a lb yet. At one point I was up 3, but it fell right back off. On the other hand I am getting sick of toast and saltines.

mom4life - Boy can I relate to your story! I took the test with the same intention in mind, and foolishly did it just before I had to leave for work that day, so the crying had to happen in the car on the way. I do love the baby - that heartbeat is a powerful force - I guess I'm just upset about the sacrifices I have to make during a pregnancy. Like you, I had made up my mind. Every week - today in fact - I get to go to the dr and see a sonogram and that really helps a lot. This baby will be a blessing, and one that I never would have planned, so it had to be a surprise. We had twins the second time around and had always been told that as I got older the odds of that happening again increased, so if we had planned for more children we would have had to be ready for 2, not 1 more. As it happens this is a single. I can't wait to find out the gender, because then I think I'll feel even more of a connection. And, I can eat well and get on the treadmill as soon as possible too. Plus, I know how to lose the weight again after all is said and done.

Thanks for all your words of encouragment!

Even though this is my #5 pregnancy. Its a whole new experience for me. With my others, they were all planned and I was in such a rush to see the progress and couldn't wait for the due date. Before, as soon as I found out I was pregnant I saw it as a license to eat everything in sight. Any growth I saw, I thought it was the baby growing when in fact is was just added weight from my over eating.
With this pregnancy, I'm taking one day at a time and enjoying the changes taking place. I still eat the same as I did just remembering to add more calories. I can see my tummy growing as the rest of my body sort of remains the same. I'm still wearing normal clothes, though I wear more sweats at home but wear skirts that go over my belly when I go out. But I can still wear my medium sized shirts with no problem.
I'm going to my 18th week appt this week and hopefully will have a U/S scheduled for this week as well where we'll find out the gender and we can start calling this little one by name. Yes...we already have names picked out for both genders. LOL
Like you, I now feel I have the key to weight lose. Something I didn't feel like I had before. I will return to my weight lose plan when the baby comes, I will have to tweek it a bit since I plan to nurse him/her but I will get back to exercising when they give me the green light after the birth. I hope to only gain what I need to during the pregnancy and not the whole 60 lbs I would with my previous pregnancies!!! ahhh!!

Wow, 5 pregnancies! You are amazing! This is only my third, because the second time was twins, but I pretty much had the same philosophy of eating whatever I saw - Breyer's Vanilla by the carton I'll have the same goal - to only gain actual baby weight - this time around. I gained a bit more than 60 with my last two. I am so impressed that you can still wear your regular medium skirts!

Good luck with your sonogram this week! Boy or girl, it's sure to be great - I can't wait to hear the name! We have a girl's name, but keep changing our minds for the boy. With 3 boys already, we've used up all of our favorites!

God bless your little one!