I can't believe I am back where I started!!

  • When I first began my weight loss journey I was 315 pounds and lost down to 232 pounds in about 11 months, I was losing weight so that I could try and get pregnant. I thin lost sight of my goal and started having problems within my relationship and a gained about 10-15 pounds. I maintained there for about 1 years. My relationship ended and ended ugly, but yet I still maintained. However, several of my family members had to move in due to financial issues for a couple of months and then moved out again. As the months went by I began to slowly go into a slight depression with the almost feel of abandonment because this was the first time that I had lived alone in 7 years. However, I maintained my weight to a degree within a range of 10 pounds. Six months after my family moved out, they had to move back in and have been with me for almost seven months now. To say that I feel like a prisoner in my own home is an understatement. It is my mother, my sister with her husband and two children and another sister. I have no time to myself and no privacy and I stay in my room lying on my bed watching television almost all day when I am not working. Needless to say, I have gained all of the way back up to 308 pounds again. My depression became almost uncontrollable about two months after they moved in and I had to see my physician to get a prescription to deal. But even sometimes it is difficult.

    I'm starting all over again. I HAVE TO BECAUSE I FEEL MISERABLE AND HATE LOOKING AT MYSELF. But I am so stressed out with the situation at home and I work midnights. How does everyone else manage the stress to continue your weight loss?

    Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
  • I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's horrible and it's no wonder you are under a lot of stress and feel depressed.

    The only thing I can think of, as I can't imagine you will be kicking your family out any time soon is for you to go outside and do stuff instead of being in your room watching tv. I hated living at home when my whole family was there... so I was never home. I went out for walks, hikes... met friends for coffee, went window shopping, the library, book stores, the park. I did whatever kept me from spending time at home. It gave me time to myself and it alleviated my stress and discomfort I experienced from being home. I was never comfortable in my own home when my older brother was there... and he was always there! I actually think it was really good because it helped me develop more interests besides watching tv all day.

    Don't focus on the weight. Just focus on doing things that make you feel better in a sustainable way.
  • Yikes! I'd go insane if I lived with all those people. I agree with Taurie 100%. Get the heck outta there. If it means walking around a track all day just to avoid them then do it. THank goodness you found out your relationship wasn't going to work before you had a baby with him. See, something good did happen out of the situation. No child deserves that...KWIM?
  • That sounds pretty terrible, I feel for you. As I was reading, my first instinct was to say - get out of the house! Taurie nailed it first. There is something to be said for being outdoors in and of itself, but as a means of escape and some bonus exercise, you really can't go wrong.

    There must be some outdoor activities you can get involved in that will keep you busy as well as get you exercise. Gardening comes to mind immediately as it is almost planting season - do you have a community garden or even a friend (or your own) yard? Dog walking (your own, or other people's) might be something too.

    The other thing to keep you out of the house and busy, might be doing some volunteer work? Maybe an animal rescue if you're into animals, or spending time in a nursing home or hospital if you are more of a people person.

    However you end up spending your time, make sure it is something you really enjoy doing. It sounds to me like you are in desperate need of YOU time. The weight will come off just as it did before.

    Keep us posted and good luck!
  • Thanks everyone for the advice. I joined a gym this week so that would give me some time out of the house and it seems to help some.

    Dealing with the depression has been a major reason for why I don't get out much, but you are all right...I have to get out more.

    I love photography, so maybe I need to get out more and do that.

    Thanks again!
  • I know how you feel. Last year my mom moved in and I gained 30 extra pounds because I just hid in my room. Think of it like this though, if you walk around the block, that's ten minutes you don't have to deal with your insane family! Gyms are good, but there's the whole motivation factor of actually getting there. Grab your camera and roam about, it'll do you good. Remember to get a camera bag though (or just keep it out of sight when you're not using it), I don't know how many times I've had someone try to mug me if I'm wearing it around my neck.

    Just remember though, you've lost the weight before and you can do it again. Your family can move away but you're stuck with you, so take care of yourself.
  • Don't beat yourself up over it. I would be running out of places to hide the bodies (just kidding!) with that many in MY house on a permanent basis. I need my space! Sounds like getting OUT is the way to save your sanity...and your waistline. Good luck!!
  • I am in a very similar situation---I was this weight many years ago, then lost it, then went through the loss of a loved one, broke up w/ my bf, and slowly gained all of the weight back.

    I am now feeling the effects of the weight, and, I know it isn't good if I want to have children.

    Be strong, you can lose the weight again (you did it before, so you know it isn't impossible), and we are here for you.
  • Thank you everyone! I'm doing everything that I can to keep myself encouraged and get out of the house for any reason that I can.

    I will keep everyone posted!
  • Hi Christie,

    It's got to be insanely stressful to live with four other adults AND children. It's too bad they can't pool their resources and rent a shared apartment. And then for them to leave and come back in a short time like that challenges your stability.

    One thing I know that was important for me about losing weight - knowing how to set limits. I was letting people (family) walk all over me, and I had to set some emotional boundaries. I don't know what your personal/family situation is, but if this is the case for you, it's worth it to get the emotional stuff in order.

    GREAT JOB on joining the gym!

    You could start insisting that your home be a "healthy-living home" and that everybody has to follow healthy diet guidelines to live there. Start waking up at 5:00am, turning up a John Sousa march, and exercising in the living room. Maybe they'll all become so annoyed that they will move out.