Hey everyone,
So, this past week has been tough for me. I was doing really well up until... well... Sunday, I think. I'm very strict with my calories and my exercise, and as much as I try to ease up so I don't go crazy, I find myself being very restrictive. On Sunday, my church had a really nice lunch for everyone - lamb, orzo, veggies, dessert (Greek food, in other words.... lol). I had no idea how many calories were in anything, so I ate and enjoyed myself without over doing it, and guessed it would be around 1000 or maybe a little less. I went for a run that afternoon, and ate what I hoped was 1400 cals for the day.

Monday was somewhat of a rough day. I was just HUNGRY. I couldn't stop nibbling on this and that throughout the evening, I was even telling myself out loud to get out of the kitchen. The next morning, I went to work... And I was starving. I usually eat a very healthy, in-calorie breakfast: a cherry oatbran muffin, which is 300 cals. It's a huge muffin and has about 10 grams of fiber and some protein, so I usually stay full for a long time after eating it. But I was so hungry, and I started to munch on other things, like our less than healthy scones and muffins. By the time I left work, I reasoned that I ate about 800 cals... And I hadn't even had lunch yet. But then, I was starving at lunch... I ate a healthy pita sandwich, but then crashed and burned with dinner and snacks. Nothing was unhealthy, exactly, but I just ate so much.

This morning, I woke up - still full from last night (surprise surprise, lol, I'm always starving when I wake up) and decided once again to try again, but with a renewed force... A re-commitment to my weight loss journey. I think I've been so hungry because I'm about a week away from my TOM, and I've retained a few pounds of water (or, at least, I hope that's water!!! I haven't gone that far above with my calories!). That's pretty depressing, but then I realized I'm sliding back into my bad habit of letting the scale dictate how I should feel that day. So, now I'm telling you all that I'm going to renew that dedication I have to getting down to a lower weight, gradually and healthfully, and being reasonable with my ambitions.

I wanna be healthier... And I really wanna be hotttttter. =)

You go girl! I feel your pain some days are just wayy harder then others....especially durring that one time of the month we all love so much.. i always want everything bad for me durring that time! Keep up the good work!!!! we cant let a few bad days get us down!

thanks for the encouragement! you're right - why are we so hungry?!?! last night my boyfriend was eating chips and offering me some, good naturedly of course, and i was like GET THOSE THE @$%@#$^@$% AWAY FROM MY FACE!!! poor boy, thank goodness he's so understanding. =) but yes, we can't let a few bad days get us down!

Yeah- It seems like somedays just go completely wrong... and then its hard to make it stop. TOM definitely makes everything worse. Hormones are crazy and more calories are being burned than normal days.

Something I started thinking about lately has actually been helping me. I should now state, this is not a "normal" response to your honest post.

I have been reading a lot about the free will in philosophical texts. According to most philosophers, the first way they identify the free will is by showing how humans have progressed beyond the stage of always succumbing to their immediate desire (the animal stage).

Especially for Philosopher Hegel, when we are able to look beyond our immediate desires (such as HUNGER, sex, aggression, etc), we become human. We look beyond our immediate desires, because we can intelligently see our life will be better if we do so.

So, my immediate desire is to eat, is to avoid exercise... but, because of the fact that I have a free will, I can choose to ignore these immediate desires and replace them with intelligent choices.

I'm certainly NOT comparing your choices to eat with an animal! I'm just saying, as of lately, it has really helped me to consciously apply this thought: that I have a very strong will and my will is stronger than my bodily drives every time I find myself in a position where my hunger is trying to control my decisions, not me.

If I can just find a few seconds, where I can repeat this in my head before putting something into my mouth, it helps. Think about how intelligent you are and how strong your will is and maybe you can find your "renewed" dedication a bit faster.

Way to go. It can be so easy to give up after a rough patch, but if you fall off the horse, you have to get right back on.
I also agree the TOM can influence cravings. I want fatty foods more the week before.

ugh this recommitment is a big one for me. I've been trying to get recommited for months. I'm afraid I have no words of advice, only sympathy. Any time i set myself up for one of the big "today is the day i change everything and turn it all around" deals where i make a whole food journal with lists of healthy foods that i've already memorized from running the diet circuit ten times already, i always fail. In a matter of days. I guess all we can do is give in or grit our teeth and bare it. :/ lousy options.

I have been struggling with eating issues since I was 16. I have moved between anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating. I have been as low as 130 pounds and as high as 270 (9 months pregnant). After my first pregnancy, I made a commitment to eating healthfully and getting my life in control. I lost 100 pounds without diet pills, starvation, or any other hateful behaviors. It was great! I was able to sail through my second pregnancy gaining only 30 pounds, and losing them within 2 months of delivery. I was able to keep the weight off and eat right, exercise regularly, and stay within my goal weight (about 170-ish) for several years.

During my last year of graduate school, something snapped, and I ended up gaining weight steadily. By the time I had my Master's degree, I had gained almost 60 pounds. I am now over 220 pounds, depressed, dejected, and feeling defeated.

I want to be a good example to my children, especially my daughter who is more likely to develop disordered eating because of my history. It would break my heart to watch that; struggling with these issues for the last 18 years has been so destructive! My husband, who loves me no matter what I look like, can always tell when it's a "fat day", and it tends to poison our whole day, if I let it.

I am so determined to get back to a healthy weight, feel good about myself, and be a healthy role model. Most of all, I want to be happy in my own body. I am hoping to do that without any destructive behavior, including binging, diet pills, starvation plans, or self destructive criticism.

Thanks, all, for helping to motivate me!!

R