I am nearing the end of January and I have not hit one single goal. I haven't lost this month's goal weight, I haven't completed this months exercise, and I haven't maintained this months diet. I am just starting out and I feel like a total failure. I was feeling great, and working hard then I just stopped and went back to every bad behavior I know. Why do I keep doing this to myself? ... I hate the lack of resolve above all else. I know I can do this, but I am having a hard time convincing my behaviors. Anyone else? Such a long journey can seem daunting, but it is completely deflating when even the small steps immediately in front of me aren't accomplshed.

G factor,
Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees, I'm here to remind you of the beauty of the forest and the beauty within yourself. You've had a rough month, haven't gotten as far as you would have liked or accomplished as much as you thought you would. That's ok, it's not what you do when you mess something up, it's what you do afterward.
So let's examine what happened. You said you haven't lost this months weight goal, was it something reasonable like .5 to 2 pounds a week? Or did you get yourself wrapped up in a fairytale? Each of us has had that unrealistic goal of losing 45 pounds in a month, it doesn't happen, it takes time. Did you lose anything at all since you started?
Now on to excercise and I'm going to bust your chops for a moment-please remember it is out of love. What was your excercise goal? Could you do 15 minutes a day? This is a trick question because the answer is YES YOU CAN!! 15 minutes a day X 31 days in the month of January would equal=450 minutes for the month of January. Do you watch 15 minutes of TV a day? I'm sure you do, which is worth more-15 minutes of TV or 15 minutes of G factor? The answer is you.. you are worth 15 minutes each and every day, to reward yourself for the beautiful, amazing creature you are and move yourself in the direction you want to be heading in.
You beat yourself up too much. Reward yourself, indulge yourself. Take a walk around the block and then take a bubble bath. Go up and down the stairs 10 times and then watch the sunset. The weight we carry is one part of our lives, not our whole lives. We are still complex, intriguing, remarkable women who define beauty, sensuality, and purpose.
So you strayed a little bit off your path, ok. Now accept and welcome your power and your potential. Embrace who you are and embark on the journey of who you want to be.
You say not achieving the small steps is hard for you. Step back and see what you've already done. You're here, you're asking for help and support. you are already light years ahead of the game, you've already accomplished so much.
Make this a part of your life, post on the boards here regularly, participate in the excercise thread. Let yourself become a part of something, become a part of the life and love here.
I look forward to seeing you around and if you ever need an ear or a shoulder to lean on, reach out. A million amazing people will reach on their arms and blanket you with compassionate, acceptance and understanding.
All my best,
Sweetcakes736
Faith

Wow, I define beauty, sensuality, and purpose. . . Wow.
Thank you so much, I was so discouraged, but I honestly feel better after reading your post. I know the journey is long, and honestly I just constantly question if I am capable of this at all. Not sure. Hard to see my potential in the midst of constant struggle.

Ok, how about this sweetheart, every time you question you capabilites, you send me a message and I'll remind you of your beauty and meaning and energy. I'll remind you of what an amazing woman you are and of the depth of your potential. I'll remind you that you aren't alone and you are loved.
It would be my honor.

THANK YOU! And THANK YOU, G Factor! This post is EXACTLY what I have been #1: To scared to post, and #2: The reply I was (hoping for) and needing! I am WORTH IT!
Tomorrow is a new day(thank heaven) again, thank you both, for this post.

I am going to take you up on the offer sweetcakes, thank you so much.
To Gelene, glad my desparation could help. lol

wanna hear a something funny?? I started my journey 2 yrs ago today. I didnt start on Jan 1 like planned that year.It took me 26 full days to get motivated to do this. I am so glad I didnt wait till feb1.I may have never started and weigh more today than I did then. Everyday is a fresh new start.Just start today!!
I have lost 90lbs but I should be at goal yes...but I have hit a few bumps in the road that threw me off track but its all about getting back on track and keep going. You can do this and we are here for you!

Every day is a new day and every month is a new month. If you don't do this now - then when? You can choose to do it next month or next year or just never do it... or you can straighten up your back, make the next meal of your life a good one, make this afternoon the afternoon you do at least 10 min of physical activity and feel good about yourself!

Don't think of it in terms of days... think of it in terms of meals. Your next meal will be good. Your next meal is the meal to make your life change. Eat healthier for that meal and then tackle the next!
You can do it!

Hey G factor, sorry to hear of your tough month. I'm just thinking out loud here, so if I say something you don't want to hear, just tune me out okay?

Being morbidly obese SUCKS. I know, I've been there, and it 100% completely sucks. Being a normal healthy weight does not suck. Matter of fact it is the best thing I have EVER done for myself. I don't know what it was, but when I started out, I never once thought it was impossible. I knew I could do it...if I WOULD DO IT. I also knew that for once in my life I wasn't going to pre-make all these mini goals and set up all the rules and guidelines and rigid strict timeline BS that I had always previously set up and never met. I just decided to do it, and every day I did it. It was my new job. I just chugged though each day and thanked the good Lord that I made it when I went to bed each night. As "dieting" got easier, I added more activity, as activity got eaiser I added more steps. Baby steps that is.

My point is, you don't need to do it all at once, you don't need to set rules and guidelines and excercise goals, and food goals and weight goals and all the darn goals. Just do something positive each day. I would suggest to work only on one thing at a time for a while. Like what got you were you are the fastest...which is probably food. Work on your eating plan, day in and day out. Get to know it, get to love it, get to dream it and see it in your sleep. There is no RULE that says you have to start exercising right now. You my friend are weight lifting more than most people can bench press every time you stand up...you are exercising just my moving. You don't need to walk on a conveyor belt that leads to nowhere, you don't need to do any of that stuff right now. Just move, any way that you can. In a few months, add something else. You will not lose your muscle if you don't start vigorous excercise today...you won't. I promise you that your body will keep it's muscle just by the work it's doing holding you up at this point. One day at a time G, One day at a time. Not a week, not a month...ONE DAY at a time.

Oneless... that is a fantastic idea, one meal at a time. I am going to try that, thanks. And thanks to everyone for the encouraging words, they are really really helpful. I can't begin to tell you how they've lifted my spirits.

Lori,
Your story makes me hope, because you did it. I struggle with the impossible idea alot, but a small still voice inside doesn't waiver. I know I can do this I just forget, frequently. Really great encouragement! I get so down when I can't reach one of those darn goals!, Then it spirals, you are so right! I am thinking ahead of myself and it is defeating.

Ladies,
Everything said here has been tremendously helpful, I am starting anew, I have a new strategy thanks to your guidance, and I know I can do this. Furthermore I know I am going to just love, love, love this forum. Thanks so much to each of you. I look forward to encouraging you someday.

G factor

Gfactor....you are *so* worth doing this! I agree with Lori...being morbidly obese sucks!! Been there done that...still working on it! I am here to tell you that you CAN do this and you will be so glad you did. For me, the freedom I am enjoying is the freedom of movement!! I can walk without pain....my knees no longer ache constantly. I walk 3-4 miles several times a week when the weather is good. I can spend an afternoon shopping and not worry about taking breaks to sit. I don't need them. I am still on my journey and there have been speedbumps along the way, but its not the getting derailed that is a big deal....its the getting *right* back on plan that is the most important thing.

As far as exercise goes....I started by simply adding steps into my day. At my starting weight I could barely move let alone exercise! I parked my car at the back of the lot at work, at the store, really anywhere I went! I would take an extra lap or two around any store I was in. After losing some weight I got an exercise bike and that is how I started my exercise plan (while continuing the same habits of getting extra steps in). I did 15 mins a day and just added to it as the weeks went by.

Take it one choice at a time or one meal at a time. If you look at it in smaller increments, it is much less daunting.

The time is going to go by anyway....why not make the most of it?

Sweetcakes...you rock! LOVE your post...most inspiring!!

I just wanted to say that I started feeling this yesterday. My weight crept up 1.5 pounds over the weekend and I started getting sad/mad/upset/anxious. My husband told me "oh stop it! You are down 8 pounds this month!! 8 pounds! You can either take 8 pounds and move on and hope to hit at least 8 pounds again and 10 months from now be down 80 pounds or you can whine and stop and quit and 10 months from now be up 15 pounds... which is it?" I stopped whining!

Thanks ladies I too needed the encouragement from this post. I can and I will do this! Small steps are better than no steps! Thank you!! I know I will still get overwhelmed at times but knowing Im not the only one going through it really helps.

Hey G...where are you? You haven't logged in in weeks. Did you give up??? How is February going?