...why I can't stop overeating. Why I have such little self control. My problem is I don't have the faith that I will one day lose the 40 extra lbs. I don't believe that if I stop overeating, choose healthier options, exercise more, (fill in the blank, ect.), I will lose this weight. So if I don't believe I can, then why bother trying? Why go through the torture and pain? (yes, I feel pain. When I deny myself what I truly want to eat, it feels like my chest is crushing in and I can't breath. I know it sounds stupid, but it's true). Why go through all that trouble just to not succeed, again? I LOVE to eat. It's the only thing that makes it all better.

I feel weak and pitiful. It seems everyone around me is judging me and thinking I have zero self control. You know, they're right. I do. I wish I could find that self control, though. I wish I had faith in myself that I can do this, that if I just tried, everything will turn out alright. Where do I find this faith?

you are not weak and pitiful and you are not alone. I feel like that to. It sounds like you are trying to figure out why you are overeating when you say it's the only thing that makes you feel better. Don't give up faith one day at a time it sounds like you could use a sounding board just to chat. you can watch your weight and still have the foods you love it's about choices you just can't stuff your feelings because there will never be enough food. Don't give up trying one day at a time...

I think most, if not all of us have felt that way at times and let it keep us from trying. It can be hard to think logically at times. I knew I could lose weight long before I believed I could lose weight. Logically, there is no reason we can't succeed. But emotionally, oh man, there's a whole slue of reasons. Maybe it will help you to start by setting a smaller goal. I can tell you when I started, I did not believe for a second that I could lose 135 lbs. But these days I absolutely believe it. I started out just trying to get under 275. That was my focus and I wasn't worried about what happened beyond that. Once I reached 275 I was feeling pretty good and thought "oh man, I bet I could get under 250!" And sure enough I did that too. With every accomplishment I gain confidence and you will too. Just start small and with time you'll see just how capable you are.

Oh, and I reccomend the book "The End of Overeating" by Dr David Kessler. I haven't finished reading it yet myself, but so far it's very insightful. And it's nice to know there is scientific explaination for why we crave foods so strongly and we're not just weak.

I agree with setting smaller goals perhaps 5-10lbs. Remember to acknowledge every lb and half lb you lose, it all counts I think the first hurdle is always the hardest.

I think I know how you feel, for the most part food has always been the thing that makes me feel better no matter what. Feeling lonely is a big trigger for me to go binge, and it's really difficulty to think "I don't need food, give someone a call or come on here instead" Because before you know it the first instinct to eat has kicked in, and then you feel lousy and even more lonely.

You've already lost 7 lbs--so clearly, it does work! I like the idea of smaller goals too. And maybe you should just focus on eating regular, sensible, portion-controlled meals--instead of something more ridgid (not sure what your plan is...) It seems to me that it's mostly mental, and if you get used to eating differently, that's a big hurdle to overcome.

smaller goals is the best thing in the whole world to do, short term is wayyyy easier then long term and when you reach that smaller goal it's way more motivating to get to the big one.

Thanks for the advice. I think what I have to do next is try and eat at least 500 calories less a day and keep walking. I hear this is the easiest way to drop at least a lb. a week. This is a small goal, right?

I know 40 lbs. is a daunting # to put my brain around. I have dipped into the 170's (179.5 to be exact) for a day or so and it felt good. That will be my goal. In the 170's. Then the 160's.

I'm learning to be patient. I want to BELIEVE I can lose this weight, so I just have to start somewhere and HOPE for the best. I'll try my plan and give it time. I'll never go on a "diet" again, but cutting out some calories a day sounds doable to me. And I already walk everyday. I'll post back when I get below 180. I'll be the one doing the happy dance.

(oh, and the S/C/G on the side is a little off. I'm back up to 183.5

Thanks again.
Heidi

When I was 190lbs, I wasn't focused on losing weight exactly... I just knew I was binging/overeating at least once a day, if not more. So what I decided to do was to eat only healthier options at home, limit going out to eat, but when I did go out to eat, I didn't need to order a salad - I could get the burger and fries or whatever. Now, I'm at a lower weight and this wouldn't be enough, but at a higher weight, it helped me lose a few pounds and I really didn't feel like I was doing much. I didn't say, "No I can't have this that or the other thing," I said, "OK I'll have a little and cap it off there." That weight loss (a little less than 10lbs I think) gave me the motivation to care a little bit more and to try a little harder. THEN I would make better and better decisions. Now, I don't feel like I'm trying hard at all to eat 1200 cals a day, exercise for about an hour, but then I would have said, "Yeah right, 1200 cals, I eat that for lunch." =) So you CAN do it, just don't focus on losing weight at first... Just focus on making little changes and you'll muster up the confidence to make more. Good luck!