Well, the title says it all. I'm disgusted with myself. After all the hard work I did the week before and I only lost .4 - I decided to indulge in self destructive behavior. It IS a choice. Now I have to live with the consequences.

I think that some of the 4lb gain is water weight, as I ate things like hot wings, pizza and salty popcorn. I can tell I am retaining water in my ankles.

I needed to come clean on this board - it's kinda my home. I didn't post last week, because I was up to no good and didn't want to talk about it. I almost didn't weight this morning, but thought I should face the music now rather than in another 4lbs.

So - why does it take 2-3wks to LOOSE 4lbs and only 1wk to GAIN it??

I completely feel your pain. Your post hit home with me. It is crazy that we work our butts off to lose 1/2 lb but can gain 4 or 5 in a few days if not careful. Over the last few months I have been stuck in the self destructive behavior and have gained a lot of weight (between 30-35lbs). Be proud that you knew what you were doing and are putting an end to it now.

So thankful for your response ahill1979! It really DOES help to know that I'm not alone.

One thing that occurred to me this week was about previous weight loss. When I was 12, I lost 35lbs - a heck of a lot on a 12yr old! My Mom got me on weight watchers (with doctors approval) and I lost it over a school year. During that time, I'm sure I had treats every now and then at school, forgot to log my food, drink my water, etc. But I DON'T remember ever being hard on myself for it. I simply moved on.

That's what I'm going to do now. Move on.

funny how its so hard to start out eating the right things, stopping yourself from munching on that little snack here and there or taking the first step to exercise . . . but one little bite of something you know you shouldn't have, cause 'its one little bite, that wont hurt' leads to a huge snow ball effect. Thats how it is with me anyways.
I think you've got the right idea. You slipped, you're moving on. No point beating yourself up over it - it happens.

Oh you're not alone. I deal with this destructive behavior all the time. I'm horrible. I have no willpower.

I have will power, but on Fridays I like to sit back with a beer or 6. That always bites me on the A$$, like it did last week. I gained 4 pounds seemingly overnight, and have spent an entire week taking those 4 pounds back off. I have resolved to not do that until I am at maintenance... Wish me luck.

Kudos to you for sharing this, as I am sure we have all been there... many, many times. The hardest part is when I start I feel like, "well, I blew it now... might as well keep going!". It is so destructive. Good for you for sharing, stopping the binge, and starting again. Stay strong... you are not alone... and so happy to see that I am not alone. {new to 3fc}
Blossom

I am new here and found this sight by accident. i am 36 years old. i used to weight 220 pounds 9 years Ago. i lost 100 pounds. It was a long life struggle and took years of working my butt off in a gym and retraining my mind how to have a a healthy relationship with food. Then 3 years ago i went thru a divorce and heart surgery withing the same month.devastating time for me. a year later after I did recover, but my energy isnt the same and I have become quite depressed trying to come to terrms with what happened and the fear for the future and the unknown. I have met someone new, and am in love again and engaged.but I am still depressed and have started to slowly abuse food again and have gained 10 pounds in the past year. I have started to binge eat aian and the shame is trerrible! Ya I know its only 10 but if I keep up with the bad patterns I will unwind 9 years of hard work. I dont want to gain any more weight back I kept it off for so long! I feel outa control with food again and it scares me. I had it all in control for so long. Now I am faced with myself and trying to come to terms with what is making me abuse food again and how do I stop before it becomes a huge issue

jessijames = "you have to love yourself to love someone else." I hated hearing that...but it is ohhh so true. Being depressed and trying to lose weight is an almost impossible mission. From what you have said, I think you need to make a visit to your doctor. Tell him/her what's going on and have them help you. That's what I love about my doctor. I finally stopped putting it off and went in to talk about what was going on (and addressed some other issues) and he told me to get through the christmas holiday & then come back in (I had some back issue that I had to address first) and so I'm making an appointment for next week to follow up with him so we can go over what I need to do to get started (without having to take pills).
Maybe your doctor can help you too!

Just to let yawl know...I decided to weigh in this morning...and even though I've put back on the LBS...I'm only back up to 229.4 - which isn't bad considering all that I've stuffed in my mouth this past week.

I did quite of bit of cheating last week as well. I actually stood by where my husband was making waffles and ate the funny edges that ooze out of the waffle because "if it's just a broken piece it has no calories, right".

I also ate fudge and sugar cookies. All this when I knew I couldn't walk outside because of the weather and there was no indoor option at my grandma's house.

Bottom line: You did the best thing after the fact: You admitted it and decided to eat differently again. Move forward. Take each new day as it comes because it's a fresh start.

Hang in there!

I hear ya...some of the Xmas baking called my name...including my own baking...

It's time to just get ourselves back on plan...no regrets!
Remember...if at once you don't succeed...try...try again!