Usually in the morning, I do great. I wake up convinced that today is going to be different. I eat a good breakfast and have the plan to exercise but it rarely happens. Yesterday, I had planned to stay on plan. During church, an announcement was made that the Spanish service welcomed everyone to join in their Christmas meal after the service. Oh my goodness. I did not plan to stay for the meal. I had planned to go home and eat the last piece of panini that DH had left over from the night before. BUT, it smelled sooooo good. I don't even know what half the foods were. There were taquitos and rice with olives, delicious desserts including something with a lot of fruit on yellow cake and whipped cream with coconut, and flan! I walked right past it all to get my two boys from class and the nursery, but seriously we had to walk back through to get to the exit. I could've went through the other exit but it was raining and I didn't want my boys to get sick. (They've already been sick enough the last few months) My older boy wanted to stay and eat so we did. I just got one plate, not overstuffed and shared with my younger one. My older one got a plate with a few things and ate about half of what he got. Smart boy. I got flan and the fruit cake stuff. Grape soda. No seconds. Then a lady from church convinces us to take home cookies and brownies. Oh, BIG mistake. No no no. I wasn't going to do this. BUT I did. I took a pack of 4 pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, a cream filled cookie, a piece of blueberry pie and a 4 pack of reeses pieces brownies. Let's just say, it was all gone within an hour. Shameful. Absolutely shameful.
The rest of the day I ate awful like that. I figured why not? I already screwed myself. I couldn't even weigh myself this morning. So today I am on plan. 100% on plan. I just need to stick to it. My dr has given me specific orders to eat 2000-2200 calories a day. I am to gain only 15-20 lbs this pregnancy. I have already gained it.
Today I have eaten 850 calories and it is almost 2 pm. So this is good. I work so I won't really be able to eat much from 4-8:30. Good. Right? I swear I need to go to a support group, but this is as close as I get. I need support. Serious help. I need to stick to my dr's orders. I realize I will gain more than what she has said since I am already there, but I can do better from now on. I just need to do it. Why is it so hard to just do it?
