Hi everybody,

This is sort of not weight loss related... although in spite of everything, I've recently met my goal weight which I'm very proud of (but am not like, super happy about, because of everything else that is crumbling in my life, SIGH).

My short story is this: I just had my second big depressive episode earlier this year, and I decided that it would be best to leave my city, apartment with 4 year boyfriend, and pets to go home to my parents for a while to recover. My parents live in another country.

While I was away, communication with my boyfriend was minimal, and very disappointing because I was starting to feel better, back on meds, back on healthy diet and exercise plan, and surrounded with strong support.

There was one time he didn't write me back for 2 weeks, after I'd sent him a very emotional, descriptive e-mail describing my improvements, my positive experiences, how much I missed him, etc.

After the 2 weeks, he finally wrote, and basically broke up with me in the e-mail.

I am feeling lost. I was planning on going back to my apartment, then finding a job (currently unemployed), and picking up the pieces of my life. But now, I not only have to find a job, but also a new apartment, and deal with moving out, not to mention the break up which is really taking a toll on me.

I'm so afraid of slipping back into depression. My parents want me to stay with them longer, but I've got my cats that I need to take care of and miss terribly, and haven't seen for 4 months. And I don't have much of a life here.

The thought of going back to my "old" life but without my boyfriend, without any concrete plans, any solid ground to stand on, except for my friends (amazing friends who I can lean on), is scaring me and making me so anxious.

Sorry this has all been kind of rambly and I don't know if I got my story out straight, but I just wanted to let my feelings out a bit... any advice is welcome, but just to be heard would be great.

Thanks girls.

I think you need to remember the good things that you have. Amazing little kitties and great friends. That is a rock solid wall that so many people aren't even lucky enough to say that they have. As for your boyfriend, finding a new apartment and all that stuff.... I know it's hard... but when one door closes, another opens! This could be, perhaps, the best thing for you and you don't even know it! We all fear the unknown.... but quite often it turns out to be better than we ever thought possible, if we just let it be so.

Good luck.... you'll beat that depression girl! You are in control of your life, nothing else.

Im sorry about the troubles, and the cats! but hun, this is your chance to start over! id give anything for a clean slate and you have one right in front of you. you can now dictate where you want to live, you can move closer to your gym or a park anywhere youve wanted! you can find a job that will make you happy! And a new man that will support you and help you through your depression issues instead of running away when you need them the most. Im excited for your new start! I hope my optimistic point of view will rub off on you!!! god bless!

We can't unscramble the eggs. Just appreciate what you've got and move on.

Time will heal everything.

Please try to keep the motivation you had developed