Hi all.

A new supervisor just transferred to my office at work. She's super-nice and easy to work with, which I love. Unfortunately, she demonstrates her niceness by bringing in home-baked brownies, etc. on a nearly-daily basis. I'm afraid that this will really hurt my weight-loss efforts, especially since I struggle with binge eating and these are my ultra-trigger foods.

I heard that, in her old office, her employees eventually asked her to stop bringing in dessert food every day. I'm not sure whether they were mean or nice about it -- all I know is that she started crying and went around miserable for the rest of the day. Eek!

Obviously, she's my supervisor and I don't want her mad at me. I recognize that she's just trying to be nice (and possibly get us all to like her). I feel like I can't ask her not to bring the treats in because of how she reacted in her old office -- so what do I do? It's near impossible for me to resist my ultra-trigger foods when they're sitting right there, especially when everybody else is eating them.

I tried bringing in a banana and eating that instead, but of course, as soon as I was done with the banana I dove into the brownies with all the speed of an Olympic swimmer.

I probably just need to buck up and learn to say no... but this seems too hard for me. Any advice you have on how to make this easier would be really appreciated. Thank you!

Just curious, how is your boss's weight? That may be playing into her reaction.

Skyra-- it is really tough when there are constantly treats around the office; my office is the same way lately (although it isn't a situation where just one person is bringing them). While I am sure that some people in your office probably feel the same way you do, others are probably really enjoying the treats. In my opinion, it is really not fair to tell somebody else not to bring food because you are tempted by it, in my opinion.

One thing that I have done, though, is ask someone if they cared if I moved the food so it wouldn't be so hard to resist (there is a table near my office where treats often land and I had to see them each time I went in or out of my office). So, I move the food somewhere that others could still enjoy it and I would not have to see it all the time. Plus, it is a subtle way to let someone know that not everyone can have treats, which is not something that they are probably thinking about. Just a thought...

J

k8t -- my boss's weight is fine; she's curvy and has a bit of a belly, but she is far from being unhealthily overweight. She's thinner than I am, at any rate, and I fall into the "overweight" BMI.

jrmohr -- thanks for the idea, I may try that.

As a note, I wanted to add that my supervisor seems to know that people might be trying to watch their weight, but doesn't care -- at least I think so -- yesterday she brought in brownies and said merrily, "I hope nobody's on a diet, because you won't be able to stay on it while I'm around!" The mind boggles...

Skyra,

I can really relate to your issues but on the opposite side. Back in march I started a new job and everyone here was great really friendly always going to these big huge unhealthy lunches and with boss picking up the tab i couldnt help but to join in on the "fun". Anyhow it got to the point where in June i got all the way up to 351 Lbs. I decided at that point that i needed to make changes and while I didnt want to offend my new coworkers I also needed to take care of myself. So i slowly started cutting back on the lunches instead of going out with them 5 days a week i went only 3 times and then 2 and now i go maybe once a week. This way I am avoiding the harmful foods but still being a team player. Anyhow that along with my efforts outside the office have helped me get to my weight today (271), and my new coworkers couldnt be happier. They realized what i was doing and have stopped trying to influence me to eat poorly. Anyhow I realize that our situations are different, but hopefully it helps a little.

That's a tough situation, I feel for you. It doesn't sound like you can say anything to her about it, like you said, she is your supervisor. It would be different if she were a regular co-worker...The banana is a good idea. And moving them to a different location. Maybe you could try (and this would be hard) to just think of them as off limits. "I don't eat those." They're not an option, as if they weren't even there. I find with those kinds of things, they're easier to resist if I don't have any. If I have one though, it's pretty much all over.

Good luck!

I have to take the approach that Paris does. My boss brings in donuts every Friday and I can literally smell the sugar and fat when I go down to the lunchroom to make my tea. I don't even look at them and I don't dwell on how good they smell, I just tell myself, "I don't eat those." Same thing with all the Halloween candy that got brought in; if I had started, I would have never stopped eating so I just reminded myself that I am not in a place where I can handle eating that kind of sugar right now.

My current struggle is with salty things like chips. My son is home from college right now and I bought him some chips and salsa. He hasn't had any of it but I've had several handfuls of the chips. So that's my challenge; to ignore the chips.

Tell her your doctor said you can only have dessert once a week, and you have to have your mom's pie every Sunday.

Or you can try taking a piece but throwing it away when she's not looking.

I teach, and people are always trying to feed us to show us that they want to support us in what we do. At least the kids give me apples. The adults want to give us high calorie, high fat desserty types of things. I understand and appreciate the thought, but it's hard when they literally don't take no for an answer. Frequently, it's "just a little bit won't hurt" and I want to say "Oh yes, it will!" As Julie suggests, a lot of times I wind up throwing things out, but I have to do it when the children aren't looking...which often gives the goodies plenty of time to tempt me.

Skyra, is there any diabetes in your family? (There is somewhere in most people's.) If so, adding to what Julie said about the doctor, you can add that you have been told to avoid sugar and simple carbohydrates as much as possible because dysglycemia runs in your family. (dysglycemia - disturbed blood sugar regulation)

k8t -- glad you can relate, though I'm sorry to hear about the food pushers in your life... they're so frustrating, aren't they?

My mom has diabetes, actually. So yes, in all reality I probably DO need to be careful. Not sure, as my doctor has never said anything about my health in regards to my mom having diabetes. If nothing else, it makes for a good excuse.

I was wondering, does your supervisor eat these deserts? If not, she's possibly living vicariously through you, or getting some sick pleasure out of watching other people pack on the lbs. while she remains relatively thin? That doesn't mean she's a bad person....but she may have some issues with food. Let's face it, who doesn't? I would just be honest and tell her how you really struggle with over eating and that you SO appreciate her kind gestures, but you really need her support in this journey. Tell her that you need her help...people tend to want to help others because most everyone sees themselves as kind to others.

I agree with luckymommy. Ask for her help. But I would also suggest something else, too.

What if your boss really enjoys baking and that it is her stress reliever or a source of self-confidence. She doesn't want to eat 24 brownies or cookies, so when she makes a batch and whoever is at home has one, then she gets rid of the extra by bringing them into work. That would explain why she became so upset over being asked not to bake for people at her previous place and why she is thinner even though she loves to bake. Obviously, this is an emotional issue for her, too. Maybe on some level, she feels a strong need to do this. So, where else can she take them that they will be appreciated. Any shelters nearby? She can alternate where she takes things...one day at work, another to a homeless or battered woman's shelters, a home for the elderly, etc? Her baking isn't necessairly the problem, it's the fact that you and your coworkers are the almost daily recipients that is a problem. Can she spread the wealth?

Anyway, just an idea....

I think you're right that you shouldn't ask her not to bring in treats - but not because she cried the last time she was told. It's because she has the right to do what she's doing (unless the company has a policy against it). And others have the right to eat them.

I would plan to have a treat myself, a healthy one, at work every day. Not a banana - something you really enjoy, but is relatively low in calories. There are lots of options. (I like the Vitalicious muffins - or muffins I've baked myself).

Also, do you enjoy flavored teas? That could be something you could treat yourself with.

When I can't have one thing, I try to substitute something else - something healthy but good to eat (or drink).

I say "thanks, but I don't really like sweets" and that keeps them off my back forever. It's completely not true! But that's what my husband says and it's true for him, so I just pretend that it's true for me too.

I also just say, "I don't like ___." I find that the people in my life really DO try to pressure me to eat unhealthy foods, maybe to take some of the blame off themselves while they are eating it ("well Julia is heavier than I am and she's eating the cake").
I don't even go the whole, "it looks so good but no thanks" route because then people say, "you can't just limit yourself like that on a diet".. which is a whole other topic... I don't understand why people think it's ok to tell others how much they should limit themselves on a diet, unless they are asked!

Anyway, I'm off topic, GOOD LUCK! You can resist it!