Aging
>>>
>>>by George Carlin
>>>
>>>Do you realize the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when
>>>we're kids?
>>>If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you
>>>think in fractions.
>>>
>>>"How old are you?"
>>>I'm four and a half!"
>>>You're never thirty-six and a half.
>>>You're four and a half, going on five!
>>>
>>>That's the key.
>>>You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
>>>You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
>>>
>>>"How old are you?"
>>>"I'm gonna be 16!"
>>>
>>>You could be 13, but hey, you are going to be 16.
>>>
>>>And then the greatest day of your life...you become 21.
>>>
>>>Even the words sound like a ceremony...
>>>
>>>YOU BECOME 21
>>>
>>>YESSSS!!!
>>>
>>>But then you turn 30.
>>>
>>>Oooohh, what happened there?
>>>Makes you sound like bad milk.
>>>He TURNED, we had to throw him out.
>>>There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling.
>>>What's wrong?
>>>What's changed?
>>>
>>>You BECOME 21, you TURN 30...
>>>then you're PUSHING 40.
>>>
>>>Whoa!
>>>Put on the brakes,
>>>It's all slipping away!!!
>>>Before you know it,
>>>you REACH 50...
>>>and your dreams are gone.
>>>
>>>But wait,
>>>
>>>you MAKE IT to 60
>>>You didn't think you would!
>>>
>>>So you:
>>>
>>>BECOME 21
>>>TURN 30
>>>PUSH 40
>>>REACH 50
>>>and
>>>MAKE IT to 60.
>>>
>>>You've built up so much speed that you...
>>>
>>>HIT 70!
>>>
>>>After that it's a day-by-day thing;
>>>
>>>You HIT Wednesday!
>>>
>>>You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle:
>>>
>>>You HIT lunch
>>>You TURN 4:30
>>>You REACH bedtime.
>>>
>>>My grandmother won't even buy green bananas!
>>>It's an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one!!
>>>
>>>And it doesn't end there...
>>>
>>>Into the 90s, you start going backwards:
>>>
>>>"I was JUST 92."
>>>
>>>Then a strange thing happens.
>>>
>>>If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
>>>
>>>"I'm 100 and a half!"
>>>
>>>May you all make it (healthily) to 100 and a half!
