Well, today was our Halloween party at work. I hope all of you control yourself better than I did.
I have had my mind made up all week that I would most likely call in to avoid it... but I woke up this morning and thought if I run from my problems they will never be solved.. I need to face all the food and prove to myself that I can do it.
Well, that didn't happen.
One of my coworkers and close friends knows my past with dieting. I have been dieting since I was around 13 years old. So today I was telling her that I was not eating the food and I brought my own snacks and lunch. And she said, "Honey, you have been doing this for a long time. I think it's about time you give up." Well, I went into the bathroom and cried... it hurt me so much... I felt like SUCH a failure. Emotions kicked in which is my biggest binge trigger and I ate and ate and ate. I was so sick by my one-hour lunch break that I had to go into our break room and nap on the couch. I slept the entire hour, felt better, so what did I do? I came up and ate and ate and ate. I sit here at my desk with my fourth cup of soda, second piece of pumpkin pie, candy wrappers hidden in my garbage and a stomach as hard as a rock from all of the fudge, candy, pie, buffalo dip, mac and cheese, chips, etc....
I just feel like such a failure....


I hope you realize that you're not a failure. It's so hard to do this. I just started, and I'm sure I'll have a moment like that too.
I can't believe she spoke to you like that!
*huggs*

