Time for a deep breath!! Oh..and a hug
I was thinking I can totally relate to your saying you can't bend over to pick up your baby, but for me it was I couldn't bend over to tie my shoes or pick anything up without completely cutting off my air supply!
Its good to get angry! Let it OUT! That is what I did..and then started putting myself at the top of my list of priorities. Afterall, if you don't care for yourself you won't be around for all those that you love. My aunt put everyone else first...even perfect strangers who needed her help. She was such a giving person...and I love her dearly...and MISS her. She died at 60 YO after neglecting her diabetes situation and ended up having a heart attack due to nearly completely blocked arteries. I will say that I think of her whenever I think I cannot put myself FIRST.
Post here as often as you can. The people are wonderful. I don't post like I should or used to, but I do come and read. It helps to have some support!
Hang in there........