Hi all,
I have not been on here in awhile. I am being treated for depression and have been for years. I take effexor xr for it. I also take topamax for major headaches. I had lapband in Feb 09 and have only lost 25-30 pounds. I want to loose more but at the same time, I don't give a crap!!! I just want to give up. I don't know what to do. I went to a shrink once and thought what is he going to do for me? I did not go back. I have a wonderful husband, 2 grown girls and 4 of the most precious grand kids anyone can ask for. I feel that I fail at anything that I do, including weight loss. Just do not know what else to do.
Thanks,
Doreen

Maybe another try at getting help? It sounds like the person you talked to wasn't a good fit.
You sound like your world is a nice place with the husband, kids and grandchildren
I'm sorry you feel so down, please take care of yourself.

Medication is most successful when combined with talk therapy. Do you have someone? It really can be helpful to talk about your feelings and help you remember how to care again. Good luck to you.

Hi, there,

After having severe depression for almost 20 years, and trying just about every medication known to man (as well as working for a pharma company), I can pretty confidently tell you that part of the problem is the meds. We so often accept that if a med doesn't work for us, then it's us and not the med. Not the case. It takes trial and error to find what works for you - and in long term depression, a combination is most often the most effective.

Talk therapy is great, but you have to find the right therapist - the wrong one does nothing. I'd also suggest going to your doctor (if you have a sympathetic one) and asking to change meds, or at least augment the effexor with another med. There are lots of things out there that work in conjunction with other medications, and increase each meds effectiveness exponentially. If you're on meds and you're still depressed, then you need to find another med. It's not you - I promise!

I know this isn't the right place for this comment, but forget the weight for now - take the stressor off you on at least that one front. Once you get stable and happy (or at least not unhappy) you can worry about the weight - when it's a more manageable task.

Please keep us posted and hang in there.

to you. If your up to it you can post on the monthly thread for october.. the girls there are wonderful and so supportive.


Leenie

You've lost 25-30 pounds? That's AWESOME. Keep going. You can, you can, you can.

My best advice is to try as many new hobbies as possible until you find something that you love. For me it's painting, origami, cooking, biking, long walks with music, reading, and writing. Do you keep a journal? I'd suggest that. For me it helps when I'm focused on something else that I enjoy and not fixated on trying to eat less/work out more.

Best wishes. Sending lots of love your way.

It sounds to me like you need to get more help. Please see your Dr and tell him everything you have just told us.

Although I am not Miss. Positive, I remember someone who said that J.R.R. Tolkien said that the greatest sin is despiration. You have no inkling of what the future holds for you, so you are not allowed to "give up." I am not very religious, but I believe that all people, all life, and all things that exist, are great miricles. Their is a much better chance of having never existed than the infantessimally small chance you had of existing at all. And to exist here and now and have people who love you, and are surrounded by children who need you? You know how miserable you could be? Really? Have you ever seen a child with ALS? Do you think Stephan Hawkening wants to give up? What about the young woman I saw jogging the other day with a prosthetic leg I would bet she lost in a bombing in Iraq? Hey, I know how you feel, but look at all the favors you have had. I don't have insurance, I live in a temporary shelter, and wonder if I will have food and a roof over my head in a few weeks. you are sitting in the middle of what history will remember as another great depression, and you have everything that people like me dream of. All I can say is please rethnk your situation.

I'm sooo glad the majority of the responses are positive, supportive and encouraging! Depression is not something one can just "get over", reconsider, or decide to put behind you! Yes, others may have it worse than you do, but it doesn't make you a bad person if you're dealing with a depression and feel like giving up! I agree with most of the others who responded - get back to your doctor and see about making some changes to the meds. And a good counselor is essential as well. You have taken some great, positive steps by losing a good bit of weight, and recognizing that as yet there are other changes that you need to make.
As someone who has struggled through several serious depressions, I understand exactly how you feel. I can also attest that you CAN get through it and there are many good things you'll miss out on if you give up. Hang in there! Keep posting and consider making some of the positive changes suggested. I'll add you to my prayer list!

giselle: I have been in a similar situation and will add you to my prayer list as well. Hope it all works out for you!

That's what I was thinking! Don't be so down on yourself. You can only be as great as you let yourself be!

Goodluck!

Doreen513,
Havisham is right! Finding the right meds can make all the difference in the world. I've been battling depression for at least 25 years and have been on more meds that most people can imagine. I recently saw a new doctor and made a list of the meds I have been on and there were probably 18 on the list. Scary! But I haven't given up yet. Most people with depression issues need more than 1 med and you have to find the right "cocktail" for you. Right now I am on Lamicatal and Seroquel and am doing well but I am not sure that this is all I need. Since I have just started these meds, time will tell. You need to find the right doctor and therapist. The new doctor I just started seeing is very thorough and doesn't mind answering questions. I do a lot of reading and research about meds (which I highly recommend) and some docs don't like a patient who has knowledge. Find a new one! Be informed. You are your own best advocate. The same for a therapist. The one I just started seeing told me that if there is something she does that I don't like, I should tell her and we can try different "styles" of therapy. I think good docs and therapists try to adjust to you instead of the other way around. But all of this only works if you speak up for yourself. I'm sorry this post is so long, but this is a subject I'm passionate about. You will get better. It's a process. Let us know how you are doing.

I am so sorry for you. I have started taking cymbalta which has helped. I want to go off it. No matter what they say, I have gained 30 pounds since going on it. It is hard when it seems your life is great but you still get that feeling of failure and that hurt in the pit of your stomach. but as my mom always used to say-"this too shall pass"